When your mom says "Well if you can

[hello kitty]

Daily, I am reminded how wonderful my mother is. She never judges and is forever finding ways to make my load lighter.

 

[danitom]

life isn't about the number of breaths you take.....it's about the number of moments that take your breath away.....

Live life to it's fullest......enjoy it......GO TO DISNEY......

I have 4 kids ages 16, 14, 12, and 9......we try to do one family trip a year.....sometimes something small scale....this year DISNEY.....can we afford it? NO, are there other things we COULD do with the money? YES, but memories with family and friends are priceless.....I have learned that

 

[meandtheguys2]

I think that many older people are just fearful for the younger. Their generation thought they were saving, and taking care of what they would need to retire. Unfortunately, it is not enough for far too many of them. Pensions are taken away, and health care has skyrocketed...let alone heat, electricity, the cost of Assisted Living, etc. They have seen their parents in need, and many were the first of the sandwich generation, caring for their children and their parents.

You (general, not speaking to any specific individual) can have incredible memories without a yearly trip to WDW. If not, there are other issues in your life.

 

[oxfordcircus]

And for this reason you shall leave your father and mother....

This is an issue close to me right now: a parent who never lets you be an independent adult - despite the fact that you've accumulated a family of your own, a house, a career, a life. The money jabs sound like just a means to control you. I would guess there are other issues about which your mother voices her unsolicited opinion: child rearing, your clothing, your work, your spouse's work, furniture, meal preparation, china pattern, aphids on your roses, etc. etc. etc. (if not, good your you!). She's still parenting despite the fact that you left home 20 years ago. You have my sympathy.

I hope you are able to learn how to tune out her harping.

 

[oxfordcircus]

Daily, I am reminded how wonderful my mother is. She never judges and is forever finding ways to make my load lighter.

Great! Would you be interested in a trade?

 

[meandtheguys2]

And for this reason you shall leave your father and mother....

This is an issue close to me right now: a parent who never lets you be an independent adult - despite the fact that you've accumulated a family of your own, a house, a career, a life. The money jabs sound like just a means to control you. I would guess there are other issues about which your mother voices her unsolicited opinion: child rearing, your clothing, your work, your spouse's work, furniture, meal preparation, china pattern, aphids on your roses, etc. etc. etc. (if not, good your you!). She's still parenting despite the fact that you left home 20 years ago. You have my sympathy.

I hope you are able to learn how to tune out her harping.

So, you don't plan on having any opinions about your children's lives...or you just plan on keeping them to yourself?

I have to drag an opinion out of my mom. I respect her, and her opinions. I think that she is an awesome woman, as was my grandma before her.

 

[oxfordcircus]

So, you don't plan on having any opinions about your children's lives...or you just plan on keeping them to yourself?

I have to drag an opinion out of my mom. I respect her, and her opinions. I think that she is an awesome woman, as was my grandma before her.

I choose option #3 as presented. I will have opinions but my goal as a parent is to raise someone to be independent of me. If they come to me to ask my opinion, I will give it with the understanding that they can take it or leave it.

I am currently fighting the second battle for independence from my smother in law.

 

[reelmom]

Daily, I am reminded how wonderful my mother is. She never judges and is forever finding ways to make my load lighter.

I, too, have a great mother and MIL. They have always gone with us to WDW and it has never been a problem. However, a good friend of mine is the one who questions us about Disney. She doesn't understand how we can spend that much money on a trip. Yet her husband is either on fishing trips or hunting, buying new equipment every season or getting the boat fixed. She also lost her job last September so money is tight but that doesn't stop them from eating out 3+ times a week. I try and tell her that she could do it too if they cut back. I think it is all about priorities. If you can afford, then go. If not, then save and go. That is what we do.

 

[meandtheguys2]

I choose option #3 as presented. I will have opinions but my goal as a parent is to raise someone to be independent of me. If they come to me to ask my opinion, I will give it with the understanding that they can take it or leave it.

I am currently fighting the second battle for independence from my smother in law.

Bummer. I'm sorry she is like that. My MIL gives a few too many hints, but nothing I can't blow off, or smile and nod.

 

[neonurse]

I think part of being a great mom is to make sure the kids have magical memories that they will remember for the rest of there lives and help them be great parents. I remember when my first was only a baby, I used to tell him "I can't wait till you are old enough that we can go to disney" and I would cry and rock him to sleep watching disney sing along videos (filmed in MK). Sometimes my DH doesn't understand some of the things I do and I say...I am creating memories!!!!

 

[TheDizMom]

Aren't our parents fun ? It's amazing to me that at 39(almost 40 ) my parents and IL's can still make me crazy . No matter how old we get we still want them to approve of what we are doing in our lives and be proud of us. I think that is why parents can make us so mad when they make comments like this. We could all just ignore them and figure they are who they are, like that would actually happen , or we can just figure in a few years we will be doing the same thing to our own kids . Until that happens we can all stick together and remember this too shall pass .

 

[meandtheguys2]

Aren't our parents fun and remember this too shall pass .

yeah...it will.

 

[ilovejack02]

So, you don't plan on having any opinions about your children's lives...or you just plan on keeping them to yourself?

I have to drag an opinion out of my mom. I respect her, and her opinions. I think that she is an awesome woman, as was my grandma before her.

Actually parents really do need to keep ALOT of their opinions to themselves once their children are grown and married etc....
My mil keeps her nose out of our business for the most part. Only gives advice when asked and I appreciate that. Who do you think I go to for advice??? My MIL. I adore my mother, but she tries to stick her nose in alot of our buisness, so I try to keep extra ammo to myself .
The reason my MIL keeps her advice and never comments on alot of things is because of the way she was treated by her inlaws and parents.
Dont get me wrong, i do respect my mother but i dont need her asking me if I really think I need to spend money on this or that, or if we need to be vacationing etc.... We dont have debt, we own our house, children have all the could want in life ( but not to much )

 

[lillygator]

I don't get this from my side of the family - but definitely the Outlawz....

it is none of their business how we choose to spend our money or our family time for that matter.

 

[larkles]

I grew up in the DC area and my mom used to surprise us and take us to Kings Dominion, the beach, white water rafting or camping when we were kids. She LOVED roller coasters and would be the first one on there.

These are my fondest memories. She taught me to try anything and have fun doing it. I say -Live it up and enjoy spending time with your kids any way you can

 

[CrzyforPiglet]

Kudos to you for making sure not to make the same mistakes your parents did by not taking your children on family vacations. We NEVER took a family vacation. The closest thing we got to was one year my parents took me to Maine for one night while my sister was at camp and then when she got back from camp I went and they took her one night somewhere. My biggest regret is that my father died when I was 16 and just like that the opportunity to take a family vacation with him was over. If you can afford to take a vacation then DO IT because you can't take it with you - money or time!

 

[Jules123]

Our vacations when I was growing up consisted on going to visit relatives. I finally got to go to DW right after I graduated from high school. My dad just shakes his head when I talk about Disney. I don't think he understands why I would want to spend so much money on a vacation. When I saw the look on my almost 4-year-old's face the first time he saw Mickey, I knew it was worth every penny. There is something so special seeing it through a young one's eyes. Every other year is about all I can convince my DH to go to Disney, but at least I will have these memories for years to come. In three months, I get to see it through my youngest's, almost 3, eyes and I am so looking forward to it!

 

[rt2dz]

Have not read the replies...

Tell your parents that, yes, you are fortunate enough to be able to afford to give your child a lifetime of memories to cherish as a family having fun together and you are sure the life experiences will be well worth it. And you're so sorry they couldn't afford it because boy is it wonderful for your kids and completely priceless.

Be a broken record.


We always vacationed extensively as a kid and those are the best times. We went to WDW every spring break and camping (in a tent) every August. As we got older there also was a nice beach vacation (Jamicia, Accapulco, Cancun, etc) every Christmas break. It was always my parents neighbors who gave my parents a hard time and my dad always said you can't put a pricetag on the memories.

DH never vacationed as a kid; his parents barely were able to put a roof over their head. He is so glad I did and expect to continue to. He loves all these experiences and is happy that our kids get them. He never would have thought to do it if I didn't insist on two vacations and a couple of long weekends every year.

 

[PittypatBR]

I am amused reading these because I am probably the age of your mothers and I am the biggest Disney nut in the family. BTW, my 95 year old mother who lives with me commented, when I mentioned our upcoming trip, "But you just went there year before last . . ." (We never outgrow parental comments!) There are so many budget ranges at Disney that it doesn't have to be a budget breaker if you plan it well. And even though it isn't cheap, it is the one place I go where I always feel I get my money's worth. Disney's attention to detail just isn't found anywhere else. However, I understand that sometimes your parents are looking at financial security issues from THEIR perspective, not yours, and it is scary to get older without enough resources. Often they don't even realize how negative they sound. But the bottom line is that those memories you are making with your family are absolutely priceless. My kids still look back on our one big vacation at DW when they were small as one of the highlights of their childhood. We did have vacations at the beach several times in ensuing years, and those are special memories as well. So . . you know better than anyone else what is best for your family. Just try to let the parental comments roll off your back, and don't let it get to you. Very few things are worth family estrangements.