When your kids friends aggravate you....

[LovinPooh]

So DS has this friend, he has been over a couple of time and he is just out of control. Ran through my house smacking my DD and farting everywhere while laughing. Just rude as can be. I would ask him to stop one thing, and he would move on to the next. I dont even let my own kids jump on my couch lol. You would think at 11 this child would behave better at someones house. So, now this kid keeps asking me to come over again. I dont have it in me to say 'you drive me crazy' LOL! But I did tell him not until after my upcoming vacation... too much going on now.
So my question is, how do you deal with your kids crazy friends?

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

I let my kids play outside with them! haha.

 

[LovinPooh]

If it werent all of 5 degrees lately, I would all set

 

[BenA81]

when I was a little terror over at my friend's house his Mom would send me home or make us play outside. I don't think that I was a terrible kid, I just hated being inside. Eventually I just found new friends because this friend didn't like to play outside. Maybe encourage more outdoor activities? If your DS really likes this friend you don't want to be the one that splits them up, eh?

oops, just noticed you're in NH. um, i dunno

 

[jack hannah bananah]

You have two options:
1 - don't invite him over again.
2 - next time he comes over explain to him that his behavior is unacceptable in your house. If he would like to stay at your house he must abide by your rules. Then if (probably when) he misbehaves again, call his mom and send him home.

It may be the teacher in me, but I have no problem letting other children know what my expectations are. I usually find that kids will live up to your expectations if you let them know you are serious.

If he does not change his behavior (give him another chance after you send him home the first time), then I would not have him back. I also would explain to my child that this is not a boy that he should be hanging around (however, he still has to be nice to him).

 

[disykat]

I was going to post the same thing. You have to be very clear with children. He may not know this behavior is unacceptable to you unless you tell him AND follow through with sending him home if he continues.

It's not "YOU drive me crazy," it's "these specific BEHAVIORs drive me crazy and won't be accepted."

 

[roscoepc1]

My house, my rules. My kids' friends all know they are always welcome in my house, but we have rules and expectations for behaviour.

I tell them, calmly but firmly, for example, that we do not say things like "Oh my God!" in our house.

We do not scream or hit at our house, etc.

So far? Our house is very popular, and the kids are all more than willing to comply. Even the ones who come from unsupervised, wild homes.

It may sound nuts, but I firmly believe that kids WANT to be good...want to be liked...etc...so as long as it's reasonable and kindly done, most kids are more than willing to follow our rules.

 

[summermac]

Ditto the PPs. Set the expectation upon arrival and let the child know he will be sent home. I'd probably be nice enough to give him one warning first though. And most importantly, FOLLOW THROUGH!

 

[MousekaMaddi]

I too have no prob telling children, (mine included) what my expectations are of their behavior, and would tell him that because of all the running.smacking,farting, etc that I witnessed, we would love to have him over again when it warms up, so they can run outside,and only IF he is willing to clean up his act.
I would only say this if you are willing/comfy to say it to his parent as well as he may report this casual conversation to his parent and they may call u on it.
I never say anything out loud that I wouldnt be willing to say to a parents face, (just my policy)It works for me. JMHO

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

ew yuck. 5 degrees just sounds nasty haha. I often forget that people live in that weather sorry LOL.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

What does your son say to his friend when he acts like this? Does he tell him that you are not allowed to jump on the furniture etc.? At 11 he should be able to and know to tell his friend that. As a parent I would just tell the kid that we don't do those things here and while we love to have him over if he can't follow the rules here then he is going to have to go home. Good luck.

 

[rbork]

My vote is for an outside play date still
tell 'em to bundle up.

 

[LovinPooh]

What does your son say to his friend when he acts like this? Does he tell him that you are not allowed to jump on the furniture etc.? At 11 he should be able to and know to tell his friend that. As a parent I would just tell the kid that we don't do those things here and while we love to have him over if he can't follow the rules here then he is going to have to go home. Good luck.

My son just looks at me like 'what in the world' lol. I am constantly going behind this kid and telling him to please stop that these actions are not acceptable. I know he comes from a bad home environment, so I feel bad for being mean. I think I will just hold out and tell him he can come over when it warms up and they can play basketball or something, as long as he behaves himself.
I just have a soft spot for certain kids I guess.

Might be awhile though... supposed to be 'arctic' temps in the next couple days..

 

[bigbabyblues]

Ugh. I agree with simply explaining to him ahead of time what is not allowed. DH had to do that with our neighbor's dd, and at first, she said she'd do what SHE wanted to, so he escorted her right back home. After a few times of this, she decided she'd rather play by our rules. We are friends with her parents, and he talked to her mom when he took her home and told her why.