When Toddlers loose it on the plane...

[Macduffy]

what do you do?

I'm travelling with a 20 month old with one stop. The first portion of the trip is at 6 AM for about 1.5 hrs which I'm not too concerned about. The second is about 3 hrs.

DS is very ACTIVE and hates when you stop him from getting to his destination (like most toddlers!). He throws a fit screaming and crying and SOMETIMES it's just a few minutes but sometimes it's longer.

How do I handle this on the plane? I doubt yo u can walk the aisle with a crying baby! I'm starting to get nervous.

 

[annagirl]

What do you do on long car trips? The plane is much the same - you have to sit, you have to be buckled in.

 

[Missytara]

I flew overseas last year on an eight hour trip with about 8 youngsters, including a three month old infant. The mother got up and walked/bounced her for about fifteen minutes every hour and a half or so. The only issue would be if they turn on the seat belt sign if you hit turbulence.

 

[Macduffy]

He screams during long car rides but 1) he's buckled in his car seat and 2) it's just me, DH and DS NOT a plane full of strangers!

I didn't get him his own seat because he would end up sitting with me 98% of the time so I didn't want to waste the money but maybe I should consider getting him his own seat on the plane now.

It's nice to know I can walk the aisle with him if needed. I didn't think I would be able to!

 

[DebbieB]

As long as the seat belt sign is off, you can walk him in the aisle. On flights I've been on I've seen parents hanging out near the restroom if there's room.

 

[annagirl]

You will - if they sign is off - otherwise you'll have to be seated.

I suggest you begin working on his attitude now - he's old enough to understand what you are asking of him. This is not a behavior you want to have continue anyway.

 

[Manda]

Something that's very important to remember while in the middle of this... the screaming baby sounds much, much louder to you than it does to everyone else since it's yours and it's right in your face. And I discovered that really only the two rows directly surrounding you are seriously affected by your screaming kid. It's still a nightmare (especially for those poor people), but it's not as bad as it would be if you were stuck in a similarly sized room with your screaming child and all those trapped people. The airplane noise really drowns out a lot of it. On our first flight back from Florida with my then 9 month old, he went hysterical for quite a while. I was so embarrassed and upset and frustrated and trying to settle him down... then we got off the plane and people several rows up were complimenting me on what a good baby he was and how they never heard a peep from him. Also remember that the majority of other people on the plane have or had small children at some point and know what it's like to be in that position.

Personally, at the toddler age, I went for the keep-him-eating approach to quiet mouths. Horrible, probably, but it mostly worked. I didn't really feed him an actual meal before the trip and then I had a lot of small snacks that I would hand out at regular intervals when he'd start to get antsy. And all the snacks were the normally forbidden types in bright colors and packaging (i.e. fruit snacks, pop tarts, etc.), so that I knew he'd eat them because it would be exciting. Not my finest moments in parenting... but sometimes, the greater good of the poor people trapped on the plane with us superseded my normal healthful requirements for what my child eats.

 

[disneyfaninaz]

I would recommend buying him a seat and keeping him in his car seat. Once he realizes that that's where he has to stay, he'll settle down. I agree with the snacks and the bottles to keep him occupied. You might also consider bringing a portable DVD player or laptop and let him watch his favorite shows. You also might want to keep him up longer before his nap time so he will be most likely to sleep on the longer leg.

 

[NotUrsula]

Be prepared for the possibility that he will make your life a living hell for the duration of the flight. That is peak age for the squirmies.

The answer for the most part is FOOD. Goldfish, cheerios, chex mix, pretzels, whatever snack food he will eat -- once piece at a time. Stick to water in the sippy (and bring your own; don't wait on what the FA will bring. Dairy often exacerbates airsickness, so it is best avoided if you anticipate that a child succumb to that, or might get upset enough to make himself sick.)

Toys work fairly well for a child in his own seat, but on your lap they really have no room to play, so they don't work so well in that case. *IF* he is accustomed to wearing headphones you can bring a DVD player with some of his favorite short cartoons, but if he won't/can't wear headphones, then don't bring it. (Full-length movies are generally not as good for kids that young -- 15- minute shows that change for variety hold their attention better.) Small pads of post-in notes and a roll of scotch tape also work well as distractions, but obviously you'll need to clean that up before you leave the plane. I find that wearing a scrub shirt or oversized tee myself made it easier for me to manage a lap child -- it's OK if it gets stained or spit up on.

As to it being loudest at your seat, yes, it is, but don't kid yourself that other passengers are not bothered by the noise -- they are. I keep emergency lollipops in the outer pocket of the diaper bag for just such situations. She gets sticky and I use a million wipes and a bath towel from home to keep her from messing up everything around her (including me), but they are my last-resort failsafe when nothing else works. Apologize profusely if the worst happens; people are much more patient if they realize that you are trying.

 

[Mouseaholic!!!]

Something that's very important to remember while in the middle of this... the screaming baby sounds much, much louder to you than it does to everyone else since it's yours and it's right in your face. And I discovered that really only the two rows directly surrounding you are seriously affected by your screaming kid. It's still a nightmare (especially for those poor people), but it's not as bad as it would be if you were stuck in a similarly sized room with your screaming child and all those trapped people. The airplane noise really drowns out a lot of it. On our first flight back from Florida with my then 9 month old, he went hysterical for quite a while. I was so embarrassed and upset and frustrated and trying to settle him down... then we got off the plane and people several rows up were complimenting me on what a good baby he was and how they never heard a peep from him. Also remember that the majority of other people on the plane have or had small children at some point and know what it's like to be in that position.



That is very kind of you.

I travel for work and ALWAYS try to sleep (get some rest in the bank). Screaming children are not a pleasure - no matter how much you love children.


a GOOD example.....

A woman with a baby sat next to me on a 5 hour flight - my heart sank.

She opened her bag and produced....

A sippy cup for takeoff and landing to keep little ears popping

Quiet games and distractions to keep the little boy busy

Snacks to keep his tummy full


He was simply - perfect!

She had bought two seats and he sat between us. She also keep him busy at the airport before we boarded ---- I watched them walk around and play games. Diapers were changed just before boarding.


It was a PLEASURE to sit with them.

What was the difference, I suspect he was a well behaved little boy to begin with....but the mother took the responsibility to make sure he was fed, clean and entertained during the flight. When we was awake - he had plenty to do.


Another point about buying a second seat.

Why do you use a car seat when your precious baby is in the car? Because you have to by law or because you want to keep your baby as safe as possible?

Airplane cabins can be as gentle as a still pond....OR they can suffer from turbulance. You may find YOU are more comfortable knowing your toddler is snuggled in a travel/car seat and safe.....not to mention it is familliar and comfortable <--- that could be a good thing too!

 

[Missytara]

I had to sit next to a squirmy nine year kid overseas a few years ago. He was almost 2/3 of my size. It was horrible. He took off his shoes and threw them in the aisle. He woke me up every 20 minutes, because he was slumped over me, snoring. Two or three times he drooled on me. He was loud mouthed and talked back to everyone. As we started our ascent, he started screaming that his ears were hurting. His mother ignored him the entire time, until he started whining/screaming about his ears. She sent three flights attendants into an absolute tizzy trying to help this kid be quiet.

I would rather sit next to a harmless crying toddler, than a spoiled bratty, tween any day!

 

[Macduffy]

... but sometimes, the greater good of the poor people trapped on the plane with us superseded my normal healthful requirements for what my child eats.

I COMPLETELY agree! I'll make sure to pack some "cool" snacks for him!

DS hates his car seat. HATES it! and will cry cry cry for no reason other then simply being in it when he doesn't want to be. So that's why we are "ify" on getting his own seat. He is much happier in our arms but I do like the safety of it.

PP was right about this being the prime time for the squiggles! DS can weasel out of any hold

Keep the tips coming... I'm learning LOTS!

 

[panfan]

I have had my fare share of nightmare plane rides when my boys were infants/toddlers ! I will also suggest the car seat ! I flew a couple times w/ them as "lap babies" but found it much easier when I started to buy the extra seat and bring along the car seat!!! It was WELL worth the extra $$. They know what to expect and are used to being buckled in in that way.

I also second the idea of snack, snacks, snacks!! One thing I believe I got from the disboards years ago was the idea of bringing "little gifts" . Nothing major. Maybe a few new toys or dollar store finds. Wrap them up like presents with wrapping paper , bows etc. When the child is getting cranky etc, just whip one out and it keeps them occupied for a while. Also if you plan on a dvd player , maybe a new movie just special for the plane ride.

When all else fails, sometimes there isn't much you can do.
And sometimes, the more you try, the worse it gets! I once spent almost a whole flight singing songs to my littleone. ( quietly, almost a whisper in his ear, very close--no one else needs to hear mommy singing--that could be worse than the baby crying!)

Good Luck! I am now dealing with a whole different set of issues as my boys are now 8 an 13, but at least the plane ride is peaceful now!

 

[Alexander]

Get him his own seat but don't bring the car seat. I know, I know, it's safer, blah-de-blah.....But....He will have much more squiggly room if he his not in his car seat. He will be able to pull his legs up onto his seat, he can put his head on your lap. He can play much easier in his seat if he has a little bit of wiggle room. He can turn to look out the window and reach the tray table in front of him. When the seatbelt sign is off, my DS will sometimes sit on the floor and play on the seat with toys. I know, I know, car seats are safer, but as a parent of kids who HATED their car seats, this worked and still works much better. Holding a 20 month old on your lap is a remedy for disaster. He will be restrained and cannot move much. Get the seat. We flew to WDW once with DS on my lap and I bought him a seat for the way home--it was a dream.

 

[Sandi]

One thing I believe I got from the disboards years ago was the idea of bringing "little gifts" . Nothing major. Maybe a few new toys or dollar store finds. Wrap them up like presents with wrapping paper , bows etc. When the child is getting cranky etc, just whip one out and it keeps them occupied for a while.

We used to do this for our DD14 when she was little and it was a great distraction. Unfortunately, since 9/11/2001, you can no longer bring wrapped gifts. This is from the TSA's website:

Remember! – do not wrap gifts you're taking on the plane. Security officers may have to unwrap gifts if they need to take a closer look. Please ship wrapped gifts ahead of time or wait until your destination to wrap them.

We also found that DVDs of favorite shows would work well to keep our daughter occupied. We've always tried to not watch much TV, so it was a special treat to be able to watch on the plane. For that, it helps tremendously for your child to have his/her own seat.

Good luck.

 

[Moomduck1]

While it may be worse for those directly in front/behind the screaming child, believe me, it is bad for everyone on the plane. You cannot get away from the noise.

We had a screamer on our last flight. The parents ignored it. That is pretty inconsiderate. Perhaps they were trying not to give in to a temper tantrum, I don't know. While that sort of attitude might be applauded elsewhere, on an airplane, it was not. It is much easier to take if the parents are doing their best to quiet the screamer.

I agree that it would be well worth it to have the extra room by paying for his own seat. If he is kicking to try to get off your lap, that poor person in front of you will have their back kicked. That is very unpleasant.

The portable DVD players are great. Maybe a small pillow and travel blanket... either an old favorite for a special new one that he doesn't see til you are on the plane? Crayons and a tablet?

Before packing bottles and drinks, check the airline's guidelines. A woman ahead of me had to have an agent check every bottle that she had for her baby (she had them filled with more than 3 oz). I thought that they were going to have a stroke. (it was their own fault for not reading the guidelines)

Also, the flight we were on was turbulent, so we had to have seatbelts on the whole time.

I wish that I had suggestions for you on how to break him of his screaming habit. It is certainly something you don't want to encourage. My children were always fine in their carseats.

 

[laughinplace199]

You've received a lot of good advice here.

I am with those who recommend buying him a seat and bringing a car seat. Although you can walk him in the aisle when the seatbelt light is off, you can't count on that option. If you're walking the aisle and he's loving it and then the seatbelt light comes on, it's probably not going to be pretty getting him into his seat at that point.

Is there a reason he doesn't like his car seat? Would you consider getting him a new one? We have a Britax Marathon in our car, but it's too big to travel with, so we bought a Cosco Scenera for travel. It was only $50 and it's smaller and lighter than the Marathon. I'm just wondering if it might help if you bought him a seat like that and told him it was his "special airplane seat" and made a big deal out of it. It's not terribly expensive and you could talk to him about how exciting it will be to ride in the plane in his special seat.

Definitely bring lots of little toys, books, stickers, etc. and snacks. Bring water and a bottle or sippy cup so he can have a drink when taking off to prevent ear pain. If he uses a pacifier, that would help also. If he has a special teddy or blankie, bring that as well.

My only other advice is to remember that he'll pick up on your anxiety. If you're worried about his behavior, he'll sense that you're not relaxed which might make things worse. Just try to be positive. Hope for the best, but be prepared for otherise, just in case. Obviously, you're concerned about your fellow passengers and that will show. No reasonable person is going to fault you for having a crying baby if they see that you are doing your best to keep him happy. Plus, most people on the plane have probably been there/done that and will probably be very understanding.

Good luck!

 

[smacky1]

we've traveled to disney a few times with my son at 16 months, 22 months, and twice just after he turned 2. He is VERY active and VERY impulsive. If he wants something, he wants it now (he is getting better with this as he gets closer to 3). In January last year, he had a complete melt down on the plane. This was the one flight we did not bring a car seat and just put him in his own seat. He wanted to stand up on the seat and jump up and down. The squirmy in his seat was uncomfortable for not only those around him, but the flight attendants as well. We tried our best to keep him buckled and force him to stay put. Finally he had enough of us and just melted down....screamed bloody murder for about 20- 25 minutes. Thankfully, everyone around us just laughed it off and comforted us telling us they understood what we were going through. His tantrum only ended when he crashed for the rest of the flight. The next 2 flights we brought his car seat and he was SO MUCH BETTER. He knew he was in his seat and couldnt go anywhere. We always bring movies, snacks, games, crayons etc. but for anyone who has a child at this age, sometimes there is nothing you can do to keep them happy sitting still. They just want to move around. I agree with others to get him his own seat AND bring his car seat. It will be worth the extra money and hassle to you.

 

[Zeebs]

As a Mum with two small children 3 and 20 month who has just completed 4 12 hour flights and 4 domestic flights from 55 mins to 3 hours, I have a few tips.

1. Don't pack too much stuff. Work out how many nappies you would need on a normal day over the same time frame and pack maybe one or two more, I don't think you need changes of clothes etc (others will disagree) if you have a spare sweater that would do it. If you bring your own sippy cup that doesn't leak then they are unlikely to get wet, anything else dropped on an outfit will make him messy but isn't going to do him any damage until you can get him to the hotel to change him. Don't go overboard with the presents either, you should have seen the bag of stuff I had when we went to florida. Cullen watched the DVD and played with a few cars on the 9 hour flight and Seth fell asleep, when he was awake I entertained him with food. Its hard enough getting bubs on the plane without having a heap of bags as well.

2. book a seat for him if you can afford it. as previously said it gives wiggle room, if he wants to sleep he can lie down and you can still wrap the belt around him while lying down. As you said he screams in his carseat I wouldn't bother with it. (I didn't realise that on American Domestic flights they don't supply you with a lapbelt so was a little concerned at take off and landing when I would have prefered him to belted to me. On the landing I just squeezed him in beside his brother and put the belt over both of them flight attendants didn't seem concerned or say a thing) While others will disagree, I believe the chance of serious injury during a flight is tiny (investigated this before our very first flight with a lap child and the chance is less than 10,000,000 in 1) and am happy to risk having him out of his seatbelt while the seat belt sign is off. Seth was a lap child on all our shorter flights, we would have been crazy to have done it on our 12 hour flights so we booked a seat for him.

If you can't afford a seat, ask for a bulk head middle row, where there usually more leg room and he can stand up in from of you and you and your husband can stop him from getting out with your legs. (maybe this doesn't apply to American domestic flights so this is a disclaimer if it doesnt

3. Food, food and more food, and the rubbishy the better as already stated. Lollipops helped at landing with their ears and because, wahoo I got a lollipop, sugary goodness. Would stay away from Chocolate as, I know I mentioned before that mess won't hurt them but blimey does chocolate make a mess.

4. If your child gets really cranky when over tired do not keep them up just so they will sleep on the plane, this does not always happen and man do they get really cranky. One flight Seth screamed for 20 mins I was beside myself trying to get him to calm down, eventually he just passed out. I wished I had let him nap and just had to entertain a happy baby. Entertaining a happy, well rested child is so much easier than entertaining a grumpy tired child.

5. Don't stress it is three hours of your life in a large flying tin can, everyone is uncomfortable and while I don't endorse doing nothing to stop your child from crying, if you are doing everything you can and can't stop it, stressing out and or getting angry doesn't help (been there done that)

Have a great flight hope these are of some help to you.

Kirsten

 

[2binak]

I would suggest that you buy some new quiet toys & books and keep them hidden and only bring them out once you are on the plane. Or, you can hide some of his current favorite toys and bring those along - again, don't let him see them until you're on the plane and then, only bring them out one at a time until he gets cranky and then bring out another "new" toy.

Using a sippy during take off and landings is an excellent suggestion to help keep ears opened. Be prepared to refill the sippy a couple of times while the plane is ascending. It can take quite a while for the plane to get to cruising altitude.

I also suggest walking him to the galley/restroom area. A change of scenery is usually good for calming toddlers. They like new and different places and people.