When do you stop.....

[smiths02]

If you can afford it, it fits in his schedule, and he wants to go, then I would include him. If there is some reason I couldn't include him, I would let him know and see if he can resolve it.

 

[smiths02]

OP, I'm not understanding why you are not inviting him. I'm hearing several reasons.
1: DD deserves a trip by herself and DS has already been so it would be more "fair" for him not to go
--I think this is a silly reason to exclude DS if everyone wants him to be there. I think it's always more fun if ALL my kids do something together
2: Finances are tight
--This is legit. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. Let DS know, maybe he can help, or at least he can understand that his sister should have a trip as well
3: You are not sure where DS will be in his life. He might have just started a job; he might have an SO.
--Again, this is legit. Tell him when you would like to go and how much flexibility there is. If he has some other life thing in the way, then it will be his choice
4: He's an adult and adults don't go on family vacations unless they pay their own way.
I don't think you can't ever give gifts or do things nice for you kids once they hit 18. My in-laws still get us Christmas gifts, we are in our 30s. We *just* started tipping the balance where we get them more expensive gifts than they give us! We have been financially independent from them since my DH finished college, but they still have done nice things for us. I don't recommend paying your son's rent for the rest of his life but injecting a little luxury/fun when he is scraping to pay for expenses is nice.

 

[tripletmomsrock]

I'm 35 and my sister is 30 we are both married with families of our own. My parents decided a few years ago to stop buying us and our husbands birthday or Christmas presents. Instead we go on a family vacation each year. My parents chose a location and rent a house we can all stay in together and then we eat pay for various meal, activities, etc. We get a family vacation every year and spend time together. So I guess the moral is there is no right time to stop paying for your kids to go on trips with you.

 

[Bluegrrl]

I guess I'm kinda the lucky one, since my mom STILL pays for vacations! I think she does this because A. we can't really pay since she uses the military stuff (but we could still give her cash), B. She wouldn't take any money from us anyway - she's one of those parents who simply loves Disney and loves being around us and C. she now has a grandchild who she loves seeing and loves being around, and I guess I come with the package.

Our family has always been one of those "fight over the check" families anyway. When the bill for meals would come, my grandfather always insisted in paying for it - my mom and dad always had to ask the waiters to slip them the check. My grandma and grandpa got SOO mad when someone else paid for them. In terms of paying/not paying, think long term. They are your babies, no matter what, and how long do you get to be with them and take care of them? Yes, we want kids to be independent and "launch" into the world on their own, but there are some times when you simply want to treat them.

And yeah, I'm lucky and pretty spoiled, I know.

 

[jvz82]

My mom and dad for sure still paid for my tickets when I was in college.

On our last trip, they actually paid for my entire family (and my sister's family and brother's family, including spouses and kids) for one day at MK. They also paid for one night at a hotel for everyone (off-site). They considered it a Christmas present. But mostly it was because it was really important to her that we all went to Disney together as a family and she wanted to help everyone financially so everyone could make it work. I'm sure I'm just spoiled though.