When do you stop.....

[Candid]

Paying for your adult children to come with you? lol

Due to an accident I had in November 2014 our last trip had to be postponed until after all of my surgeries/recoveries are over. My oldest will be 19 in May so he will be at least 20 before we go. We always counted him in when planning but someone asked me when I would stop paying for his vacations and it made me really stop and think. He's been to WDW before but my now 6 year old hasn't. I am seriously thinking of not bringing him this time and letting his sister have her trip alone with us like he did. On the flip side...built in FREE babysitter for adults only outings, lol

 

[mjkacmom]

My oldest will be 20 this summer, and I'd never leave her behind. She's still in college, but lives with us over breaks.

 

[Candid]

When we go he will have just graduated college and will hopefully have a new job (fingers crossed!!)

 

[powellrj]

We have done it both ways. When our oldest left home at 19 to join the army, our youngest was 6. She had been on a couple of trips without him because after he turned 15, he decided he would rather stay home with grandma and grandpa and go to summer school over a trip to WDW.

We have been on a few trips without the kids, but this year the middle DS who is 24 wants to go with us. I told him we would pay for some meals and his trip down and lodging and he had to pay for anything else. I think his girlfriend may come too. Youngest DD is mad because she wants to go too, but can't leave school for the week. I don't feel too bad for her because this week is her second trip to Universal this year and will be going again at the end of the month with our oldest DS to babysit.

 

[brockash]

Paying for your adult children to come with you? lol

Due to an accident I had in November 2014 our last trip had to be postponed until after all of my surgeries/recoveries are over. My oldest will be 19 in May so he will be at least 20 before we go. We always counted him in when planning but someone asked me when I would stop paying for his vacations and it made me really stop and think. He's been to WDW before but my now 6 year old hasn't. I am seriously thinking of not bringing him this time and letting his sister have her trip alone with us like he did. On the flip side...built in FREE babysitter for adults only outings, lol

Does he want to go? My parents have often paid for trips for me as an adult and I plan on doing the same as long as I can when my kids are adults. If he wants to go, I don't think I could tell him too bad now, especially since it was originally planned with him. Is there a reason you're not wanting to take him?

 

[disney world dreamer]

the last time my parents fully paid for my trip was in 2003 when i was 17.
in 2004 when i was 18 i went down with my sister and niece and met my parents there.
my sister and i paid for our own hotel room and tickets but my parents generally bought us our meals as my dad insisted.
i then drove home with my parents because i wanted to spend more time with them so they then paid for my hotel stay and food on the way home.

starting in 2006 which was the next time i went i was 20 and my sister and i paid for everything ourselves as my parents did not go and ever since i have paid for myself.

i'd say that by the time you go again your son should be expected to pay for at least something.

although to be honest i don't think payng for him or not paying for him has anything to do with your true question.
you basically are more wanting to know if you should take your son or just take your 6 year old.
personally i would take them both.
seems a bit mean to not take him at all especially when he lost out on going due to you being injured.
i also would not expect him to be a built in babysitter. my sisters have treated me like that at times and i did not appreciate it. sure if you want a date night and you arrange it ahead of time thats one thing but don't just say "ok we're going out by ourselves for a while see ya later".

 

[Candid]

the last time my parents fully paid for my trip was in 2003 when i was 17.
in 2004 when i was 18 i went down with my sister and niece and met my parents there.
my sister and i paid for our own hotel room and tickets but my parents generally bought us our meals as my dad insisted.
i then drove home with my parents because i wanted to spend more time with them so they then paid for my hotel stay and food on the way home.

starting in 2006 which was the next time i went i was 20 and my sister and i paid for everything ourselves as my parents did not go and ever since i have paid for myself.

i'd say that by the time you go again your son should be expected to pay for at least something.

although to be honest i don't think payng for him or not paying for him has anything to do with your true question.
you basically are more wanting to know if you should take your son or just take your 6 year old.
personally i would take them both.
seems a bit mean to not take him at all especially when he lost out on going due to you being injured.
i also would not expect him to be a built in babysitter. my sisters have treated me like that at times and i did not appreciate it. sure if you want a date night and you arrange it ahead of time thats one thing but don't just say "ok we're going out by ourselves for a while see ya later".

Actually, paying for him vs not paying for him is exactly my question. I want him to go

 

[tzolkin]

Actually, paying for him vs not paying for him is exactly my question. I want him to go

The way your OP read, I also assumed you meant that you just wanted to take your daughter on her own special trip.

My only concern with planning the trip to include an adult child is planning around their schedule. But, you could always plan the trip to include him but take him off the reservation before the cancellation period ends if it turns out he can't go with his new job.

My oldest is a HS senior heading off to college and we did our "last family Disney trip" this past summer. I certainly still hope to include her in vacations, but I felt that was the last time it was guaranteed that she would be able to go with us. I want her to have internships, jobs, and other activities so that may seriously limit her ability to travel with us at a time that works with our younger kids' school schedules and DH & I's work.

I hadn't thought about it in detail, but I would assume that I would pay for everything if she were to come on a trip with us. Maybe I would have her pay the extra $25/night adult fee for the room?

In your situation, you could stay in one room (4 people, right?) so bringing your DS would involve the extra adult fee ($15-25 depending on where you stay, I think), ticket, and food. I don't think the extra cost would be enough to warrant not bringing him. If he needed a separate room and it was going to substantially increase the cost, I might ask him to pay for a portion of it.

Not sure what his relationship is with your DD, but our last trip was pretty much planned around sibling bonding time. We stayed at the Epcot resort area and the kids went to the parks several times by themselves, DD bought DS ice cream and wandered around the boardwalk, DH and I let the kids sleep in and walked to Epcot for breakfast in France, etc. Little things like that, but it was just so relaxing and changed the entire feel of the trip from other times in the past where it was all five of us all the time.

 

[texasroni75]

OP, I feel the way you do - I always want all my kids to come on my Disney trips. But, DD has commitments to college, work and her fiance now (she's 21). If my budget allowed, I would still pay for her and her fiance in a heartbeat, but it's just not feasible to completely foot the bill for everyone.

So, what I do is give her a heads up that (1) I'm planning a trip and give her the dates I was thinking of going, (2) I find a resort and/or special offer that would be the most budget-friendly, and (3) try my best to make it work for all of us so that she can come. We pay for the room and food, and she covers her travel and park tickets. No pressure, but I let her know it would make my heart sing if she was there

 

[msmama]

My mom paid for me until I was out on my own making my own money (so after college, though I did go twice in college without family and on my own dime).

Next trip we are going halfsies. We're splitting the room (so technically I guess she pays more than her fair share since there are 2 of us and one of her and we're splitting the room cost in half). And I plan to pay for one special dinner for her and I assume she'll pay for at least one dinner for us on our upcoming trip. No doubt she'll buy more stuff for the kid than I will.

Times in the past we've most split in half though one of the other of us may have paid a bit more because of where we were in our lives. We've always paid our own airfare separately though.

 

[Candid]

The way your OP read, I also assumed you meant that you just wanted to take your daughter on her own special trip.

My only concern with planning the trip to include an adult child is planning around their schedule. But, you could always plan the trip to include him but take him off the reservation before the cancellation period ends if it turns out he can't go with his new job.

My oldest is a HS senior heading off to college and we did our "last family Disney trip" this past summer. I certainly still hope to include her in vacations, but I felt that was the last time it was guaranteed that she would be able to go with us. I want her to have internships, jobs, and other activities so that may seriously limit her ability to travel with us at a time that works with our younger kids' school schedules and DH & I's work.

I hadn't thought about it in detail, but I would assume that I would pay for everything if she were to come on a trip with us. Maybe I would have her pay the extra $25/night adult fee for the room?

In your situation, you could stay in one room (4 people, right?) so bringing your DS would involve the extra adult fee ($15-25 depending on where you stay, I think), ticket, and food. I don't think the extra cost would be enough to warrant not bringing him. If he needed a separate room and it was going to substantially increase the cost, I might ask him to pay for a portion of it.

Not sure what his relationship is with your DD, but our last trip was pretty much planned around sibling bonding time. We stayed at the Epcot resort area and the kids went to the parks several times by themselves, DD bought DS ice cream and wandered around the boardwalk, DH and I let the kids sleep in and walked to Epcot for breakfast in France, etc. Little things like that, but it was just so relaxing and changed the entire feel of the trip from other times in the past where it was all five of us all the time.

The only reason I brought up taking his sister for a trip with just us it because it may be our last trip (I could cry just typing that, lol) We have to scrimp and save for these. DS is a HUGE Dis fan, loves it almost as much as his Momma, lol. He wants to go and I want him to go...just had it brought up to me that we'd have to stop paying for him eventually and decided to ask when most people stopped. He and his sister are SUPER close. I have no problems getting him to babysit when DH and I want alone time and he has no problems doing it. He asks us on a regular basis if we want to go out. In our family, if you don't already have plans then you are expected to babysit if needed, lol.

 

[Mousemommy1]

Granted my oldest is only 11, but I would imagine that we would continue paying for our kids (assuming they want to go) through college and until they get their own jobs/money.

I went to Disney while I was in college on trips with my DH (then boyfriend) and my parents paid for me to go on those trips.

 

[jac1976]

The only reason I brought up taking his sister for a trip with just us it because it may be our last trip (I could cry just typing that, lol) We have to scrimp and save for these. DS is a HUGE Dis fan, loves it almost as much as his Momma, lol. He wants to go and I want him to go...just had it brought up to me that we'd have to stop paying for him eventually and decided to ask when most people stopped. He and his sister are SUPER close. I have no problems getting him to babysit when DH and I want alone time and he has no problems doing it. He asks us on a regular basis if we want to go out. In our family, if you don't already have plans then you are expected to babysit if needed, lol.

Who brought it up to you? Bottom line is you never have to stop paying for him if you don't want to. It's your choice. My mom and step-dad paid for me to go to Disney until I was engaged to be married and began a life on my own. I think the last trip I took with them was when I was 24. Granted, I was their built in babysitter, as my siblings are 12 and 15 years younger than me, so they definitely had a reason for wanting me there. Years later, I paid for my mom to come on a Disney Cruise with me and my kids when DH was deployed because I wanted her there as a built in babysitter for my kids. It all came full circle in the end.

 

[5stljayhawks]

WOW - Candid there are so many different ways this could go. I would start off with saying how independent is the 19 and maybe they have someone they would like to share the magic with? Or maybe you could prep them and they would understand there are few solo days.... on the family trip.

I also see where the 6 year old may say down the road to their brother... remember when we went to WDW?

If you want P's Night out, and leave the 19 YO at home to party w/o the p's.... there are some great onsite options through Disney kid clubs. We did poly with our three kids and they loved it. may run $50- $100 +/- its like 15 an hour. but doent quote me on that.

To me at the end of this post the 19 YO will most likely fly the coop soon and the 6 YO will be 19... Why not build those family memories all together. Maybe the 6yo does a kids club night , the 19 is off by themselves and so are the Ps..

 

[gatormom2tots]

Think it depends on the situation entirely...

That being said....as an adult now(with my own 4 kids), we have come full circle and now usually pay for my mom's ticket when she comes with us!

 

[quagmire0]

I'd probably bring my kids while they are still in college and **maybe** up to a year after. But after that, they'll (hopefully) be established adults with solid income, etc. etc.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

Our son isn't coming with us on our next trip. But it is an anniversary trip and he is in school.

If he was available, and it was a normal trip, he would come and we would pay.

He is 20. He goes to school full time. And he lives at home.

 

[Gracie09]

I am married with two kids and my parents still technically pay part of my trips (they own dvc and give us carte Blanche with their points as long as they are not using them). We have offered repeatedly to take over the dvc membership but so far they don't want us to

 

[ariane37]

I have 2 stepsons, 27 and 24. Our 27 yo is engaged and they live together; 24 yo works FT and lives with his mom. Then we have our 2 sons, 10 & 13.

We haven't all travelled together since the oldest were 18 and 15 and since the 18yo was in his first year of college, we paid. Every Disney trip we offer to take our now 24 yo but he hates to fly; if he decided to come we'd most likely pay simply because we can and our younger sons (and us, too!) would be thrilled if he'd come. We'd also love for our oldest to come with his fiancée since she's never been and would LOVE to pay for them, but paying for 2 extra adults would be a bit much plus, we feel that since they both work FT making good $$ and live on their own, they can pay-at least for the majority of the trip. Should they ever decide to come with us we'd probably either buy their park tickets or do airfare while they did the rest.

Bottom line I think it depends on a number of things: your finances, your older child's finances, whether they're working, living at home or on their own. And I don't think there's a right answer, it's whatever you want to do! My best friend is married with 2 kids. Her and her DH both work and make GOOD $$, but her parents pay for them to go on vacation with them every summer because they can, and they like to travel together. My friends' DH tried for years to get his in-laws to NOT pay but they finally sat him down and said it makes them happy to be able to do it and so he sighed and now doesn't fight it. My friend and her DH are in their mid-40's

 

[scrapquitler]

My oldest is in college. We took her on one of our trips last fall, and we didn't take her with us on another one.
We will always offer, but after she gets out of college, I'd expect her to at least contribute SOMETHING to the trip, even if it was just to pay for one dinner for the family or something like that. And she would be upset if we didn't let her do at least that. When we took her last fall to Universal, she bought a souvenir for each of us because she said she felt like she needed to contribute at least something. I'd think that I failed as a parent if she didn't at least offer something.