When do you know (furbaby related)

[eeyorethegreat]

I know there are a lot of you on this board that have fur babies and I hope I can get some thoughts and understanding. My dog now 10 has tumors on his body the most significant one is in the middle of his chest. The first tumor we spotted was on his foot and we did have that one removed a few years ago. I thought that would be the end of it but over the last few months we keep finding more. He is also lame he limps now when he walks sometimes worse than others but he doesn't seem to be exceedingly uncomfortable. He snores when he lays down now even if he isn't asleep. I am not sure if this is because of the tumor on his chest or not but the snoring has gotten worse. Overall though he seems happy. He doesn't do a lot and he spends most of his day sleeping. He has been such a good friend always by my side (literally). He does have a vet appointment next week and I intend to talk to the vet then. I know from other people who have gone to her with elderly pets and though she gives all the options she doesn't pressure a family to put their animal to sleep unless death is imminent and the animal is in obvious pain. I have seen animals linger on because their owner would not and could not bring themselves to take them to the vet to be put to sleep. I had a cat that died not so peacefully because he became ill in the middle of the night. It was horrible and I don't want to go through that again nor put one of my furbabies through that again.

How do you know it is the right time? I don't want to short change Toby and take his life away but I don't want his quality to decline to the point of him being uncomfortable either. I have had people visit and note to me that they notice his decline. I do notice it but obviously not to the degree they do. I just don't know what to do. I dont want to take him to the vet as he is suffering and gasping his last, I don't want to wait that long but again I don;t want to be hasty in my decision either. How do you know when you have reached that point with your friend- not too early but not to late. This is breaking my heart having to even think about this.

 

[taylor3297]

First I would try to get a vet appointment sooner than next week. So you know exactly what you are dealing with.

I have had to put several pets put to sleep and of course it is the hardest thing to do. Each time though, I knew they were in pain and I could not let that continue.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this issue. Don't second guess yourself. You will be able to tell when it is time.

 

[corky441]

You'll know when the time is right . . .

Toby will tell you - you'll see it in his eyes - he'll tell you when to let go

 

[richard_andmel]

I hope the vet can help make this decision easier for you. It's a very hard one, as anyone who has ever had to make it knows.

 

[daneenm]

I know this doesn't help, but for us there was an 'ah ha' moment where we just knew. Our dog had slowed down quite a lot and we started wondering how we should know. Even some days where we had to help her up and down the step to the lawn we still wondered. The day that did it for us was when she could not walk - she just fell over and looked at me with confusion. When we drove her to the vet for the last time, she actually laid at my feet and fell asleep ( which is something she never did in the car) and I just knew she was tired and ready.

Your signal will be different, I'm sure but it is quite remarkable how they let us know.

Hang in there.

 

[platamama]

I feel for you. It's a scary and emotional decision and one that will actually stay with you a long time, even years later. I had to have my 15.5 yr old German Shepherd X euthanized a couple of months ago (and my other dog about 5 years ago) and I still feel their absence and remember all the events surrounding their passing. What you'll hear about is "quality of life" - is it there now? Is there still some pleasure in life? Or do you feel there's suffering at this point?

It's very difficult to discern if it's too early, that's a tough judgment call and can differ from person to person and one also has to factor in the unpredictability of the underlying health issue(s). I understand your nervousness about waiting too long and letting your loved furbaby suffer. Either you feel guilty about doing something too early or guilty about doing something too late, and ultimately you have to decide which guilt you could live with the most peacefully, and what you think is fairest to Toby. If you're lucky, you might get that "signal" that a PP wrote about, without your pet suffering too much.

I'm glad you have an appointment to see your vet - you will get a more objective and professional (not just friends and neighbors) evaluation of Toby's health, and hopefully gain some information that can help in your decision making. If Toby has not had some sort of geriatric workup thus far, this would be a good time to have it done, to assess overall health internally (what you can't see) in addition to what's observable externally. Perhaps your vet will have suggestions for making Toby more comfortable.

Imagine yourself in Toby's place and what you would want if it were you, and I think that will help guide you.

 

[kkwis2]

How strange that I just posted a question about the exact same topic. I didn't see yours before I posted.

I guess we will see together what people have to say.

Good luck with your situation.

 

[disneym2m]

Oh I completely understand what you are going through. Last year around this time, I had problems with my 19 year old cat. The vet said her kidneys were not working properly and there was not much that could be done. Basically just watch her and see what is happening.

I remember on a Monday he tells me this, but Wednesday I had him do a water treatment for her (basically a dialysis type treatment) and the following week I knew it was time to put her down. Even today I still second guess my decision...it is never the right time.

I basically just watched her. I knew she was active and what her eating habits were like. After the water treatment she did well for a day, but then she was back to not eating or drinking for the week. Every time she ate she was really sick and she just stopped eating and drinking. In one week she lost a lot a weight and I could just hear in her meows she was miserable.

I remember the Monday after the water treatment, I took her to the vet (just one more time) and the vet was very honest. Her kidneys were failing and it was only time. So it was up to me if I wanted her to suffer through until she passed. By Wednesday morning I just knew she was miserable and there was nothing to do. Believe I was in tears the whole Wednesday.

You know your fur baby. And having to make such a tough decision is not an easy one. I still cry from time to time thinking about my cat and how much I miss her. But I also knew I loved her too much to have her suffer or be in pain.

I am sending you so many hugs and support . Deep down you know what will be best for your fur baby.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

Thanks for your replies. I have a lot of thinking to do. I hardly slept last night. I do know I don't want to wait until he has major issues. I had a dog growing up was my very best friend. He got tumors but did relatively well like Toby is. Slept a lot, was lame, not a lot of stamina. Just like Toby. Then one day bam he couldn't move vet's office was closed so my parents just sat with him until he died. early the next morning. I don't want that for Toby. I lost my cat in a similar way as I mentioned and it was horrible for him and horrible for me. Every pet I had growing up same thing we waited until it was too late and then it was either a tearful trip to the vet with our friend in pain or the vets office closed and our friend lingering until finally breathing the last. So my experiences with knowing "when" is a little scewed. My stuggle is finding that point in between where he is not miserable but has gone far enough that I know he will be. Thanks for your support! I know that I have never met any of you but it helps to share this with friends!

 

[Racey]

get an experts opinion before you drive yourselve crazy asking the question?

If he/she tells you he is in pain then look at asking yourself this question again, if he isnt and these tumors can be dealt with then your stressing about a question that isnt necessary yet. the "old" signs arent necessarily making him unhappy, you'll know if they are.

This is one day I DONT want to do again ...... 10 years ago my dog Danny died - i still cry about him to this day

Good Luck with a vet trip

 

[HillPete]

Like the others have said, you'll know. Get to the vet sooner if you can and see what she says. The vet will help you see the signs. Until then, know we are all thinking of you and Toby and sending hugs.

--Hillary

 

[brack]

We have been lucky to have had two wonderful dogs who lived almost 17 years each. Our poodle just passed away 5 months ago and was beginning to really show his age. Our vet was very great in helping us with him and said that he would not let him suffer. We did not have to put him (or Sadie 7 years ago) to sleep. He started having convulsions in the middle of the night and dead quickly at the pet ER. I'm glad we waited. Wishing you the best.

 

[kevrab]

Last year I had to have my 13 year old boxer Daisy put to sleep after a long, torturous decision. She, like your dog, developed alot of tumors (which I found out is common in boxers) which upon biopsies were cancerous.

She lived with them for about six months but she was really struggling. She was the sweetest dog ever and after having a really bad night she actually snapped at me. Daisy just wasn't herself---that's when I knew, after along consultation with my vet, it was for the best to put her down.

Good luck on your decision. It was one of the toughest ones I've had to make.

 

[SpaceMonkey]

this is a sad thread to read, but I knew that going in. I've had to deal with the same issues when I had to put my cat Tom to sleep. It's tough to do but know that your putting your pets best intrest before yourself. My vet expained it to me as the last gift of love that I could give to my cat so he wounld'nt have to suffer.