When did you REALLY know you were a parent?

[decker96]

I read this article in my Parenting magazine this month about when women really felt like a mom. Some did when they saw their first ultrasound picture, others not until their kids were a year or older.

The first time I really felt like a mom was when my oldest was about 2 weeks old. My mom had left after staying with us for a week and DH was at work. My DD was being pretty fussy, didn't want to eat, sleep or do anything and I was starting to freak out that I had no idea what to do. I was walking with her from our living room through the kitchen and back again, just rocking her, saying "Sh, sh" and nothing was really working. Out of the blue, I started humming this lullabye that I didn't even know that I knew and saying, "It's okay, mommy's here". That was the first time I had referred to myself as mommy. After a few minutes, she snuggled her head into my neck and went to sleep. I sat down in our rocker and it just hit me like a ton of bricks! OMG!! I am really a mom!! Then I cried of course (just like I am now)!

What about you?

 

[coliebird]

I read that article too.

I think it was the first time I held her after the drugs wore off. Looking into that little face realizing that I created this life. It was amazing to me. I am tearing up now remembering and it's been 28 months.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

When my dd was about 18 months old and I was comforting her for something-or-other (my memory is bad, lol). But I suffered from PPD until then, so I'm sure that factored in.

 

[NMAmy]

I was pretty drugged up while I was in the hospital but when they sent me and my ex home all by ourselves with that little thing--then it hit me. These people were just sending me home with that baby even though I had no clue what to do--and definitely no owners manual.

She's made it to 14 so I guess I've done ok so far!

 

[Lizzydoll73]

The first time I said "Because I said so!"

 

[Minnesota!]

I think when it really hit me was when I (a very reserved person in public, normally) caught myself singing Twinkle Twinkle walking down the aisle at Target. And not quietly. And I have a horrid singing voice. Only a momma would take that embarassment, really ;o)

Or it could be when I was holding him above my head and he urped and into my mouth it went. Yep, I didn't gag. 5 months ago, I would have puked.

 

[mrsltg]

When I made arrangements for the disposition of my son's body. I'd been a mom for three and half years at that point, but then I was the mom who had to hold it together and get through the misery. That was my "Mom" moment.

Erin

 

[Microcell]

Mrsltg,

I am so sorry you didn't have the result I did, but I felt the same at a similar time- when my DD was five and in the hospital. She was going in and out of conscousness and they told me she needed surgery. I never before felt so helpless and earnestly wanting to change places with her so she wouldn't be in pain. She is fine and healthy now, but I couldn't believe it took me almost six years to really feel like a mom.

 

[Castlebound]

I realized that I was a parent the first night in the hospital. I had a private room and DH stayed the night. We decided to have DS sleep in the room with us. I had a pretty long and tough labor. DS was 9 lbs. and needed a little help coming out, so I was pretty sore. DH made all the noises that night before we went to sleep about helping with DS as much as he could. Well DH slept all night long and never woke up once. I thought by morning I was going to kill him! Around 3 in the morning two things hit me. Number one, I was really a mom and this really was my baby. Number two, DH sleeps very hard and I needed to buy one of those airhorns! Thankfully DH got much better about helping with our kids in the middle of the night.

 

[decker96]

Originally posted by Lizzydoll73
The first time I said "Because I said so!"

 

[DWhittles]

I still look at my son who is 10 months old I'll think "That's my son."
Everytime he cries out beacause he needs me and everytime I say "It's okay, mommy's here. Mommy's got you." I realize I've turned this immense corner...

Diana

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

Hmmm...that's a tough question. Definately not when Remy was first born LOL. The doc showed her to me over the blanket (I had a c-section) and my first words were, "Ewww, she looks soo gross". Maybe when I first caught myself spitting on my finger and "cleaning" Remy's face. That was a real "mom" moment. Or with Holly checking her diaper for carpet (she kept eating our carpet ). Although I think I might be the only mom that checks for carpet.

 

[ADisneygirl]

I first felt like I was a real parent the day the hospital released me. My husband and I stood there looking at the baby, saying to each other "no you dress her, no you".... because we both were nervous! Hey, we were only 19 and 21 at the time, practically babies ourselves. We couldn't believe the hospital was letting us leave with her! LOL It is a funny memory, but I guess I must have done something right because she is in her third year of college now, and the other one we had (a son) just started HS.

 

[LisaZoe]

For me, it was the first night at home when it was just DD and me after we'd returned from Florida (where she was born). Although she'd already been with me a week, my sister was there with us in FL so I didn't feel on my own before we got home.

Originally posted by Minnesota!
Or it could be when I was holding him above my head and he urped and into my mouth it went. Yep, I didn't gag. 5 months ago, I would have puked.

This makes me remember a zoo concert DD and I went to this summer. I don't know if it was the heat or the chips and lemonade (or both) but DD got sick. This while we were seated on a small (crib sized) blanket in a sea of similar blankets with no way to get through them without walking on the blankets. I knew we couldn't chance trying to leave our spot while she was still spewing (sorry). I held her close and tried to reassure her while also keeping the flow directed where it wouldn't get the crowd... in this case the only place was on me. It wasn't until she'd finished, we'd packed up, cleaned up a little (she, of course, had a change of clothes) and were driving home that I let my self think about what was all over me. I have to admit I was a bit short with DD when she kept asking, and even whining, about stopping to get a drink and something to eat.

 

[decker96]

I love reading everyone's stories! So interesting how everyone has a different take on this question.

Mrsltg -- So sorry for your loss.

 

[justhat]

Well, in a way I kind of realize it more and more everyday. The first time it hit me was the day after my daughter was born. Madison was born at 7:32pm, I finally got to hold her around 8:30 (she had meconium so they had to suction her lungs and make sure she didn't aspirate and was okay before they let her leave the warming tray). Well in that hour, my mom and husband were so excited, and I mean, I was too, but not like them, they were crying and I was thinking "I wish someone would turn on the tv so I could watch Friends (hey, it was a Thursday night in the last season!). Well once they handed her to me, I was like "wow, she's beautiful", but still not "I'm a mommy". Then she left for 4 hours and I didn't see her till a quick 2am feeding. Well the next morning my husband went to class (he's in med school) and my mom wasn't allowed back in the hospital till noon, so here I was alone in my room with this little baby, and I had to get her dressed for her nursery portrait, and wheel her down to the photo room. That's when I thought "Hey, she's totally dependent on me. She'd be stuck here in this little bassinet forever if it weren't for me. And I get to do whatever I want with her, even dressing her up in this duck dress!" (well, sorta, but you get the idea)

But like I said, everyday I realize it more. The first time she said 'mama' and actually meant me, just a few weeks ago, I was filled with emotion. My husband and I looked at each other in disbelief and I thought "wow, I really am her mama!"