What's a good age for my DDs to bring a friend?

[beattyfamily]

We've gone 7 times now. We brought our 14 year old niece a couple of years ago and it worked out just fine.

Now my DH, who spoils my girls rotten, has told my now 9 year old that she can maybe bring a friend next year to Disney with us. We might go in August (girls only) and then in October as a family (with DH).

I was thinking my DDs friend might be too young and will get homesick. What's a good age to invite friends?

Also, should we pay for everything? With my niece we did pay for everything and her mother did send her with $100. They had NO money and this was a once in a lifetime trip for her. I'm just wondering what most others do. I'm sure my DH will want to pay for everything. I'm fine with that. Just curious what others do? Do you pay for everything but spending money? Everything but the airfare? Or just pay for everything? I believe they do not have alot of money but I'm not sure.

I've also told my DD not to talk too much with her friend about this yet (although she told me she already mentioned it to her and she was VERY excited) and get her hopes up as we should discuss it with her parents first and get their answer in case it's no.

Also, would you invite her on the girls only trip in August so my 9 year old has someone to ride ToT and RnR with (my 5 year old can't ride those), or would you invite her on the October trip when DH will be there to help out with the girls?

Any thoughts appreciated.

 

[indigoxtreme]

Nine is a great age for girls. Since it is Disney she really will not have time to home sick. We have always taken children with us, my children are grown now. Now I am starting a new with a 4 year old granddaughter. Yeah...

When we went I always discussed it with the parents. We always just asked for their admission ticket price, if we thought the parents could afford it. If this was a problem, we explained that we would take care of it, if they would give their child some spending money and for week stay I suggested 50 to 100.00 depending on the family's circumstances. It always worked out great for us. I am not sure which trip to include her on though. Would you feel more comfortable with you spouse there, I think I would as your daughter will have some one to play in the pool etc with while you and your DH are sitting and relaxing by the pool. I have always found that it is great for the children to take a friend. Of course mine were girl and boy and they were 6 years apart so when they brought a friend it gave them so one to relate too and usually a 4 would end up playing games.

 

[lsg1]

2 years ago, we brought my 16 year DD best friend with us to Disney to celebrate her sweet 16. This was for my daughter, and we invited her friend, so we paid for everything.

This year, they just graduated H.S. and 3 of my daughters friends wanted to go the DW for their senior trip, and at first I was allowing them to fly down. Now we have second thoughts, and we are going along( actually driving them down from NYC). We are making the girls pay their way because they originally were going on this trip alone, and we didnt invite them(they actually invited us because they got cold feet about flying down there by themselves).

 

[Tamie]

I told my 16yo that she can either bring her boyfriend (he will be sleeping on a trundle bed) or step sister with us this time. I told her that they will be responsible for their airfare, food (we are getting the dining package) and tickets to get into parks (he/she will only have to pay for 1 since we had 2 extra tickets from before), we will be there 3 days before heading to my dad's house about 2 1/2 hours away. If you are going to have her friends parents pay for some of the stuff I dont think that that would be asking to much, since you will probably spend some of your own money on her as well, I cant imagine that you would buy ice cream for all and not for her (if you understand my meaning). That is usually what happens here.

We have been letting her bring friends with her for a long time for long weekends at Wisconsin Dells and it always works out well. There is an 8 year difference between my kids and it would have been boring for her while I had to stay with the younger one in the baby/kid pools. So they are able to go to the different slides and whatnot as long as they stay together. I would not have let them go off on their own at disney though at that age, but the water resorts in the dells are limited to quests with a fence around them, and they had to check in with me on a regular basis. Normally, we would pay for them because you had the water park at the resort, no extra tickets to buy)but Disney is a little more expensive.

 

[beattyfamily]

Well, I made the call to my DD's friend's mom yesterday. She's discussing it with her DH and family and will get back to me. No turning back now.

They can decide if she'd be homesick and not ready. She seemed to be leaning toward letting her go but you never know.

We will pay for everything. If they want to send her with some spending money, that's great but we won't count on it.

I hope they decide soon, though because we're going the day after Thanksgiving and there are only 5 seats left on the plane down! We decided to invite her to this year's trip rather then next year's because next year both my DD and her will be 10 and considered ADULTS!!!!

Thanks for all you help!

 

[eeyore45]

I wouldnt worry too much about being homesick, while your at Disney there is so much to distract them from being homesick! I would be careful about having her call home tho, that tends to make them feel guilty if they arent homesick!! I've found that calling 3 days before is ok, but not before, if her parents want reports, I would make the call... but then again, every child is different, you can play it by ear when you get there!! How exciting!!

 

[PatsGirl]

I think 9 is a great age for a friend to come along, much better than 10 if you are picking up the tab

My kids are also nearly 8 years apart so I almost always let them each bring a friend to everything we do (exceptions being longer trips like WDW or cruises where they tend to invite a cousin). I must say though that $$ is limited as I'm a single parent who LOVES to vacation and that's where I spend all our "disposable" income. My DM says the only reason we have disposable income is because we eat tomatoe soup w/ grilled cheeses and I'm very frugal about most things other than eating out and vacations, lol
Anyways, paying for another child is just out of the question. What we have done though is take kids skiing, stay in a condo and eat most of our meals in. I only ask that the parents chip in for lift tickets, the meal or two we eat out and some spending $ so we can do movies or arcade. I also take kids camping all the time (or so it seems). Again, an inexpensive vacation. I only ask the parents for spending $$ for arcade, ice creams, that sort of thing. I have never asked the parents to pay for food we eat at condo/camp.

What does amaze me though and I'm just starting to deal with this recently because for some reason boys just don't have the same social agenda as girls (at least I'm finding the difference) and my son never really asked me to take him and his friends to the mall or ice skating, etc. but my DD, 8, often calls and asks a friend if she wants to go to the movies, ice skating, or to the mall and McDonalds, but 9 times out of 10 the parent offers no $$. Often these excursions add up to $12-15/child and I simply cannot afford to do this.

Am I way off base here? Do most parents just foot the bill? I think it is EXTREMELY generous for someone to take a child on a trip like WDW and pay for them and that is very nice but for those of us that cannot do this....

I know when my daughter is invited to go off for the day (not a bday party or anything like that) to the mall or elsewhere I always offer $$ to pay her way -- I would really like others' opinions on this because I'm starting to think I'm not being realistic here.

Brenda

 

[skiwee1]

Whatever you decide I do think you should pay for everything. I was brought up where if we do the inviting we certainly do the paying. That goes for a simple dinner or an expensive trip to WDW. To ask for money after inviting is like charging someone to come to a wedding. Tacky, tacky, tacky.

 

[PatsGirl]

Skiwee1: The problem is when kids just want to hang with other kids. Do you think when an 8-year old calls her friend (or a 12-year old for that matter) and asks if she wants to go to the movies that it is a true "invite"? I'm not being sarcastic -- I'm just thinking that if we had to pay for every time my daughter wanted to be with her friends outside of the house and was the first to make the phone call, I would have to limit the calls.

As for the "vacations" this is always something I've talked about with my teens, like "if you want a friend to come, just make sure they have spending $$ for ...", or I talk to the parents of a younger child before the invite is extended to the child.

Thanks for your input, I do appreciate any and all opinions

 

[skiwee1]

Skiwee1: The problem is when kids just want to hang with other kids. Do you think when an 8-year old calls her friend (or a 12-year old for that matter) and asks if she wants to go to the movies that it is a true "invite"? I'm not being sarcastic -- I'm just thinking that if we had to pay for every time my daughter wanted to be with her friends outside of the house and was the first to make the phone call, I would have to limit the calls.

As for the "vacations" this is always something I've talked about with my teens, like "if you want a friend to come, just make sure they have spending $$ for ...", or I talk to the parents of a younger child before the invite is extended to the child.

Thanks for your input, I do appreciate any and all opinions

If my child asked if she can take someone to the movies with us and I say yes then we invite them and I pay. If my child, older then yours because an 8 y/o isn't going to the movies without you, calls up a friend and asks if she wants to see a certain movie then they pay their own way unless my kid says it's their treat. My kids don't pay for just hanging out. And you are right about paying a lot. We have always taking and paid for our kids friends for dinner and vacations. Their friends do the same for our kids.