What would you think?? Race Issue

[Nascia]

I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if my feelings are justified. Here's some background first: We are currently living in a small town, less than 7,000 people, in Southwestern PA. It is predominantly white here, there are 3 kids out of about 300, ages 9 -10, that are not white in the entire town, one being my son. I had to pull my son out of school when he was in second grade because he was being harassed (called all kinds of names, including the n word, I finally pulled him out when 3 kids started getting physical with him). My son is one of the better athletes in the town and has played soccer and basketball for approximately 5 seasons each. (He's also extremely well behaved for everyone but me so discipline/ behavior is not a issue.)

Anyhow here's what got me upset: For each and every single season in both sports all 3 minority (biracial) children have been on the same team. My son is best friends with the one boy, but can not stand to be around the other (the other boy is very disruptive and always goofing off). Each league (basketball and soccer) says the kids are randomly assigned to a team and that it is the luck of the draw. With approximately 75 - 100 kids signing up per season per sport, how can it be a coincidence? I'm convinced the boys are grouped together because of race, but my mom thinks it's just a coincidence. What would you think?

 

[Hedy]

I think you have a logical reason to be concerned.

 

[MushyMushy]

Sounds like we're neighbors.

I doubt we're in the same town, but the way our soccer teams are matched up is supposed to be totally random, but I don't see how it can be. They have to be careful to put siblings and friends together on the same teams, so I know there is tinkering.

IF you do live near me, I honestly think you might be right based on what I know about racial attitudes in this area.

ETA: OMG, and I just looked at your ticker. Not only are we neighbors, but we're headed south at the same time! Small world!

 

[Aidensmom]

You could be right, and it very well could be based on some racist attitudes, but I am just curious if it otherwise makes a difference to you or your son that they are on the same team all the time? If not, its something I wouldn't let eat at you.

 

[debster812]

A year ago, I might have told you you had reason to be upset. After surviving my first year as assistant registrar for our soccer league (what ON earth was I thinking?), you would NOT believe some of the 'requests' that are made. It's entirely possible that after all the:

Johhny X has to be with Billy Y for carpooling
Adam S would like to be on Coach Z's team

etc etc etc These kids might just end up together. And if there is coach input, they might have been requested.

I know this year for Fall soccer we are instituting a 'no requests' for team placement for the kids. Of course if there are extenuating circumstances, they'll be considered.

 

[Nascia]

I told my DH that something was odd when it happened 3 years in a row. 5 is something else all together. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks race may be the issue. My mom thinks I am being overly sensitive because of what happened to him in school.

MushyMushy-
We live about an hour north of Garrett (MD/ WV/ PA boarder). We will be moving into a new, somewhat more diverse (much more accepting), district about 25 minutes away, this fall strictly because of the race issues here.

I also wanted to add that there are anywhere from 6 - 9 kids per team.

 

[momof2inPA]

I live in Southwest PA, and the organizers of the sports here just aren't that organized. They can't remember a kid by name alone. I'm inclined to say it's just coincidence, but if you told me your town, I might have a more definite opinion. My kids go to a small Catholic school with one African American kid. The teachers and principal would NEVER tolerate any mistreatment of a student on racial grounds--NEVER.

 

[momof2inPA]

MushyMushy-
We live about an hour north of Garrett (MD/ WV/ PA boarder). We will be moving into a new, somewhat more diverse (much more accepting), district about 25 minutes away, this fall strictly because of the race issues here.

I also wanted to add that there are anywhere from 6 - 9 kids per team.

Oh, it's rural down there. I'm voting "not a coincidence."

 

[LiLIrishChick63]

well.....there's a SLIGHT chance that it could be random, but i'd go with your instinct. you should take the problem up with the school and tell them you think they need a better "system" for that type of thing. if it doesn't get you anywhere, take it to court!

 

[Nascia]

It does bother my son. He really doesn't like being around the one boy. He is always getting into trouble and doing things just to annoy the other kids. He doesn't take it seriously at all and gives up a lot of big plays. My son and the other boys on the team, work hard but always end up on the losing end because of this. I know there are more important things than winning, but it is nice to win once and awhile, a little pay off for all the hard work kwim.

Dh and I even coached a basketball team this year. Said kid was put on my team. Long story short, we couldn't coach him because of a conflict of interest with my DH's employment (behavioral specialist who spent significant time in this boy's classroom). We had to quit because they refused to swap players with any other team (I was told it wasn't the NBA, they don't take requests). Sorry Dh was not going to lose a case and hours over a youth basketball league.

ETA: I have contacted the school, dept of ed and dept of justice. They agreed to take the case, but we didn't pursue it for fear of retaliation. DH has numerous clients in the school and he spends a good part of the week there. I am also finishing my degree and will be in the same situation as DH soon.

 

[Goofyluver]

I am on the board for my local soccer league. I help assign teams and am assistant registrar. We have far more kiddos than 100, and we recognize names all of the time. We get strange requests too! I would say this is probably not coincidence. We balance our teams by experience. The only time players get put on the same teams repeatedly is if they are siblings or in very special circumstances. My guess is that this is not random. I would be concerned as well if I were you.

 

[mommasita]

I find this very aggravating...I know it is NOMB, but that is sad...Hope things change for your family

 

[MushyMushy]

Oh, it's rural down there. I'm voting "not a coincidence."

Sad to say, but it is pretty bad around here. Let me tell you a little story. When we were moving into the house we're in now, I ran into one of the neighbors in the doctor's office and I asked him about the neighborhood -- how quiet, how many kids, etc. This was an older man. He was telling me that the house on the other side of me was owned by a (whisper) black woman(whisper)... he might have used the term "colored." She rented it out to a white family, but he thought I should just be aware that the black family could decide to move in themselves, and then he gave a

They did end up moving into the house and DH and I just laughed, thinking of that guy's discomfort.

A lot of people aren't as nice about it as he was.

I can't believe we still hear that crap in this day and age.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Hi!

I guess we're neighbors too. I would think it all depends on what town you do live in. There are many around here that are still very racial oriented.

My son has played baseball for 5 years and soccer for 2. The coaches swear its a random type draft . I'm not behind the scenes so I'm not sure. I do know though, I'm so sick of the child sport atmosphere around here.

These parents are ridiculous , its a game people, played by kids!

 

[disykat]

It doesn't sound random to me either, although it is within the realm of possibility. I'd ask to be involved in the random selection process. I think you have a reasonable reason to request doing so and since you've volunteered in the past you should be able to volunteer with that.

If they take any parent requests, could it be that the other boy's parents have requested that he be on a team with your son? My first thought is that someone is putting them together because your son is seen as a good role model for this disruptive child.

 

[momof2inPA]

Sad to say, but it is pretty bad around here. Let me tell you a little story. When we were moving into the house we're in now, I ran into one of the neighbors in the doctor's office and I asked him about the neighborhood -- how quiet, how many kids, etc. This was an older man. He was telling me that the house on the other side of me was owned by a (whisper) black woman(whisper)... he might have used the term "colored." She rented it out to a white family, but he thought I should just be aware that the black family could decide to move in themselves, and then he gave a

There was an old guy down the street talking to me like that one day, and I said, "Could you please not say that stuff in front of my kids?" He hasn't liked me since then. But the black guy who moved in across the street hugs me when he sees me at the grocery store. I like him.

 

[aprilgail2]

. We balance our teams by experience. The only time players get put on the same teams repeatedly is if they are siblings or in very special circumstances. .

Our teams around here are picked by the draft method. The coaches all get together, all the names of the registered kids are out on the table and they take turns each picking one then another and another until all kids are on all teams-it is not done randomly at all. Of course when they get down to the misbehaving type kids then they try to pick the ones that misbehave the least and the last guy gets stuck with the worst kid...My daughter joined late after they already picked so they just stuck her on any team that was short a kid but next year she will be part of the draft.

 

[JPN4265]

I'm not sure if I'm overreacting or if my feelings are justified. Here's some background first: We are currently living in a small town, less than 7,000 people, in Southwestern PA. It is predominantly white here, there are 3 kids out of about 300, ages 9 -10, that are not white in the entire town, one being my son. I had to pull my son out of school when he was in second grade because he was being harassed (called all kinds of names, including the n word, I finally pulled him out when 3 kids started getting physical with him). My son is one of the better athletes in the town and has played soccer and basketball for approximately 5 seasons each. (He's also extremely well behaved for everyone but me so discipline/ behavior is not a issue.)

Anyhow here's what got me upset: For each and every single season in both sports all 3 minority (biracial) children have been on the same team. My son is best friends with the one boy, but can not stand to be around the other (the other boy is very disruptive and always goofing off). Each league (basketball and soccer) says the kids are randomly assigned to a team and that it is the luck of the draw. With approximately 75 - 100 kids signing up per season per sport, how can it be a coincidence? I'm convinced the boys are grouped together because of race, but my mom thinks it's just a coincidence. What would you think?

Why does it always have to be a race issue? Maybe it is random. Maybe the other coaches can't deal with parents always interfering with the team. Maybe other kids have been playing together for years and are best friends and just want to continue to play together. Maybe some kids just are not that good or don't take the game serious, or goof off at practice and the games. Who know's, but its not always about race.

 

[MushyMushy]

Why does it always have to be a race issue? Maybe it is random. Maybe the other coaches can't deal with parents always interfering with the team. Maybe other kids have been playing together for years and are best friends and just want to continue to play together. Maybe some kids just are not that good or don't take the game serious, or goof off at practice and the games. Who know's, but its not always about race.

Nope, it's not always about race. But you don't know where the OP lives. There are some of us in this thread that do, and we have the opinion that it very well could be a race issue, so don't make her feel bad for asking.

 

[Pixiedust34]

Nope, it's not always about race. But you don't know where the OP lives. There are some of us in this thread that do, and we have the opinion that it very well could be a race issue, so don't make her feel bad for asking.

I used to live in SW PA, and the OP has a valid point. It could very well be a race issue. Sad, but true.