What would you have done (Man in the Women's washroom)?

[qa4ever]

So I just spent the weekend at Disneyland, and on Saturday at California Adventure I saw something I was not expecting. It was quite busy at that time and there was a line up in the washroom. A few people in front of me was a man. Yes, he was definitely a man, he had a full beard, men's clothing, was very tall, etc. He was pushing a wheelchair of a girl who was maybe late teens and quite disabled. I guess he felt uncomfortable taking her in the men's washroom, so I guess he brought her in the women's.

I was not bothered at all, and I was shocked (pleasantly) to see no other women confront him. And instead, when he went to take the girl to the washroom, many women were actually helping him (holding the stall open so he could help his daughter get up, asking if he needed help lifting her etc.). Another woman walked by and said "What can I do to help, a little kindness goes a long way".

I don't think I'd ever seen this before, and like I said, I wasn't bothered at all. I had my 11 year old daughter with me and she asked why the man was there, I said to help that girl (I assume his daughter), and she wasn't bothered either.

With all these washroom debates, I was so glad to see there were no issues here. As it very easily could have gone another way. And this poor girl really needed to use the washroom and the man (I assume dad) was just trying to help.

 

[avalon451]

That's totally legit. I never got the whole debate, anyway. Good for him, and glad he didn't get any flak.

 

[BigAlsGal]

Personally if I saw ANYONE giving him grief that person would get a big ole piece of my mind. Maybe even my foot up their posterior.

 

[Rhie]

Yea that's totally fine with me too. Heck, I'm fine with anyone in any bathroom as long as they are just, you know, using the facilities.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

That sounds legit. And I'm glad to hear that other guests were kind to him and his daughter. But perhaps the dad didn't know he had other options? There are family restrooms in DCA (maybe the line for those was really long?) and DL. And he could always use the restrooms in First Aid (single rooms and plenty of help from the nurses there). I wish Disney would be more clear about the family restroom option. We have friends who visit the parks regularly and could really use the option. They had no idea that those restrooms were there until we pointed them out.

 

[DisneylandDarling]

I'm surprised he didn't utilize one of the companion restrooms that Disneyland and California Adventure have available. I would think that would have been much easier than trying to navigate her through the crowded ladies/mens room. They have companion restrooms spread throughout the park (Buena Vista Street companion restroom, Pacific Wharf companion restroom, Flo's V8 Cafe companion restroom, Flik's Fun Fair companion restroom). Guest Services would have been able to give him a special map that pointed out where the specific locations of guest services kiosks/companion restrooms/first aid services are located. Alternatively, a Cast Member could have helped him locate the nearest companion restroom.

If I saw him in there with his daughter, I might have let him know about the companion restrooms that would be much easier for him to navigate/less chaotic than the ladies room. Heck, I even think about using the companion restrooms sometimes! The ladies room get pretty chaotic in the busier times at Disneyland.

 

[bcla]

Sound pretty reasonable to me. There's really not a whole lot of options other than waiting a while for the family restroom. I remember the ones at A Bug's Land while I was waiting for my wife to finish at the ladies room. There was a line to use them.

The times where I as a guy have accidentally walked into the ladies room, often there was a lounge before getting into the area with the stalls, and I was able to exit quickly. I'm also under the impression that most have individual stalls, so it's not exactly something that peeping Tom is going to want with everyone staring at him. I did accidentally walk into a small ladies room once. It was unoccupied and I was puzzled why it was two toilets (no stall) when I remembered a urinal and a toilet.

 

[Kender]

Personally if I saw ANYONE giving him grief that person would get a big ole piece of my mind. Maybe even my foot up their posterior.

You and me both!

As someone who grew up with a father who balked at the idea of even brushing his little girl's hair (let alone trying to pull it back in a pony tail), this story made my night. What an incredible father taking care of his daughter. My father never would have done that for me even in a family restroom.

So glad to hear about the support he got too since I definitely would have defended him tooth and nail if he hadn't. Thank you for sharing, qa4ever!

 

[theluckyrabbit]

Sound pretty reasonable to me. There's really not a whole lot of options other than waiting a while for the family restroom. I remember the ones at A Bug's Land while I was waiting for my wife to finish at the ladies room. There was a line to use them...

This is where the restrooms in First Aid are very helpful. Had the man's daughter been unable to wait, going straight to First Aid might have allowed them to check in with the CM at the desk and go right to the restroom. Of course, if they were very far from First Aid, then the trip over there might have been longer than the wait in the line they were already in.

 

[tarheelalum]

The family restrooms at Disneyland are not well known so he probably felt the women's restroom was his only available option.

 

[Terri_Berri]

Sounds like Dad of the year material to me.

 

[bumbershoot]

Heck, I'm fine with anyone in any bathroom as long as they are just, you know, using the facilities.

Same.

 

[Dr. G]

This makes sense to me too. The dad isn't going to see anything in the women's restroom due to the individual stalls. Had he taken his daughter into the men's room, that same guarantee does not exist for her due to the urinals. So, for everyone's privacy this makes sense. Family restrooms, as already suggested, sound much easier for them in their situation.

 

[DharmaLou]

No problem with that at all. Family restrooms sound like the best choice, but as others have said not everyone knows about them.

 

[beachdreamr1229]

I teach kids with severe disabilities and we often run into this issue on field trips. Ultimately, it makes sense to use the women's room if the person using the facilities is female. I'm glad to hear that no one was giving the man a hard time. It's probably a lot cleaner and safer for the girl he was with than taking her to the men's room. I actually like what some theme parks have started doing with having more "family bathrooms" or "companion bathrooms" available for situations where it's a difficult call to decide where to go, but either way, I think in general we place too much emphasis on gender and bathrooms.

 

[bcwife76]

No problem at all, he was doing a GOOD thing!

 

[Mousequake]

This makes sense to me too. The dad isn't going to see anything in the women's restroom due to the individual stalls. Had he taken his daughter into the men's room, that same guarantee does not exist for her due to the urinals. So, for everyone's privacy this makes sense.

I can virtually guarantee you taking her into the men's room would be a non-issue. I have been in thousands of men's rooms in my 48 years, and have taken my 8yo daughter into hundreds (well, not for quite some time, since she's more than old enough to use the bathroom by herself for a few years now). I have never once 'seen anything.' I can assure you, men using the restroom at a urinal are every bit as discreet as women using the restroom in a stall.

It's probably a lot cleaner and safer for the girl he was with than taking her to the men's room.

Cleaner and safer? May I ask why?

 

[offwithyourhead]

People are getting way too upset about bathrooms and genders these days. They have no ability to separate average people (some of whom may be transgender or nonconforming) and predators. 99.95% of people in any given bathroom just want to relieve themselves.

Unless someone is being inappropriate in some way, they can use any bathroom they want IMO. A toilet is a toilet. Kudos to this man for doing all he can to allow his daughter to live normally even if she needs help doing it. Very glad to hear that there were no objections from other people.

 

[Realfoodfans]

In the UK we have disability toilets - lots of room for a wheelchair or two people for assistance. It is law now that public places provide one. We get a key - called a RADAR key - and in some places you can only access with a key - like railway stations. Is there anything like this in the US?

 

[theluckyrabbit]

There are handicap stalls in just about every public restroom, unless the restroom is a single room. These stalls are larger and have safety rails, sometimes a sink, and usually a taller toilet to make transitioning from a wheelchair easier. But the stalls are accessible, not reserved or exclusive. I haven't heard of a RADAR key. If no one actually needs the handicap stall, anyone can use it. I often see moms helping a toddler in that stall if it is available. It is easier to change clothes and help with going potty with more room.