What would you do?

[fun2bmomof3]

We are discussing a vow renewal for our 10 yr. anniversary March 2007. Our dream affair. Our children who will be 14,13,10,3 at the time. The problem.... my sister in law who I would like to have attend is going to wdw september 2006 and can't afford to go again in March. She's had these plans for a year now so I can't ask her to change them. In fact we originally planned this together and would go together.
We could wait for our 15 yr., but our parents might not be in the health to go. Both our moms have passed so it our fathers and I have a stepmom who I love like a mom. I seriously doubt my father will even be with us at that time.
My stepmom suggested doing it locally and we could go take the honeymoon we never took. But it's not the same.... We had a very small wedding with just our immediate family at our house with my minister brother as the officiant. This would be our dream ceremony. But is it worth it if your family isn't with you???
Sister in law suggested doing it in september.... but that isn't the same either. really.

Any suggestions??

Thank you for any and all advice.

crissy

 

[fmdelano]

I garantee you that if you had the VR early (in Sept.) you would be so swept up in the magic of everything Disney has to offer, that the actual date would no longer matter. Plus your family would be there to share it with you, which would make the event even more memorable, for you and for them. If you waited, your family may not be able to join you, and your children alone may be too young to really understand the emotion between you and your DH. I am having to schedule my wedding at an undesirable time, because it was the only time that all my family would be able to attend, which I realized was more important to me than the actual date. Good Luck!

 

[Merandab4]

I can't answer this question completely, as we had a Disney wedding and not a Vow renewal. with that being said, DH and I each had our immediate family there with us to celebrate, but due to health concerns,one set of my grandparents were not able to make it, and DH's only living grandmother did not attend, (although they were all invited).

I am very close to my aunts and uncles as well and would have loved for them to have been there to celebrate with us, but realized that this was an opportunity of a lifetime to get married at Disney world. Although I missed not having EVERYONE that I loved there, I knew that I would not have been happy having a simple ceremony at home and would also look back and wish I would have done a Disney wedding.

Yours is a different situation. You already had a wedding and I assume all of your family attended? I would not give up your Disney VR if this is a dream of yours. If it is important for your fathers to be there and you think that they will be able to attend if you do it earlier than later, then don't wait.
You will have other opportunities to vist WDW with sister in law at another time.
On the other hand, you could alway do a VR at home with everyone, then go to WDW with SIL and do some sort of special celebration there. rent the Grand One, do a fireworks cruise, eat at V&A. Something you haven't done before!
If you know that your fathers were not going to be around much longer, I would certainly want to include them in your special event.
Good luck to you in this hard decission.

 

[hiwaygal]

But is it worth it if your family isn't with you???

That depends...

To me and my DH2B (and this might sound selfish) it was OUR day and WE wanted to do something for ourselves. Now, his parents passed a long time ago, and my parents live 600 miles away anyway (and really don't travel) so for us, it was more important that we share this moment between ourselves.

So, yes, it is DEFINITELY worth it even if you're family isn't with you...YOUR family will be there (you, DH, kids, and anyone else who can make it)...

 

[fun2bmomof3]

Actually our wedding was.........sweet, but nothing spectacular. I was 7 monthes pregnant with baby #3, we had held off on getting married to be able to afford a nice wedding without asking our parents. We never got there and we didn't want to wait any longer. So I called my half-brother who is a minister several hours away and asked if he would come marry us. My stepmom put together a nice dinner and with just my parents, dh's parents, his sister and our oldest two children we got married in the living room. I made our wedding cake (granted I was a cake decorator at one time so it was a beautiful 3 tier design).
Going to wdw with my sil is not the issue... we've done that. But I am closer to sil than I am my own sister who I have not spoken to in over 12 years. Is her being there more important than having my own father ... no... would it be the same without her.... no. Just wondering if it would be the same doing it 6 monthes early.

I do know that anything other than a disney vr will not do. That has always been our dream. So if it must be september then it must be. We can always do a Bahamas vacation for just the two of us on our actual anniversary. (that is another thing we've always wanted but have waited to do).

Thank you everyone for your input. I love my dh, but his only goal is to make me happy so he just tells me.... whatever you want, when I ask his opinion. I think this whole idea makes him as nervous as when we first got married. He asked my brother to please keep it simple and he was was trembling through the whole thing. It was so sweet because we had lived together for over 5 years at that point.

crissy

 

[Fantasia Sam]

OK for me, personally for my VR, I need only two things, my hubby and the anniversary of the date that we got married on. I know other people have VR's on a date that was not their actual anniversary date and that's great but I'm just from the school of thought that I wouldn't want to renew my vows on any other day bar our actual anniversary date, nothing wrong with doing it at all on another date, it's just not my preference.

That said, now reading through this - I see how important family is to you and I'm liking the sound of the suggestion you just came up with - VR in September and then wonderful Bahamian trip on your anniversary - this way you're getting the best of both worlds - your dream VR, with not only your hubby, but the people that are important to you and you wish to share your celebration with and then you get another vacation for your actual anniversary date

 

[twojo21]

i would say vow renewal in september with your family & then a nice cruise/second honeymoon just you two on your actual anniversary in march.

 

[Mary626]

This may sound silly or be out of the question - but if it is just your sister in law that cannot make it, perhaps you can pay for her airfare and such? Or is it that she cannot take more time off of work?