What Would You Do ??

[FlightlessDuck]

If it was me, I'd be in the car and on the way to DS's place ASAP. Of course, with your surgery that isn't possibe. I'd find some way to get in contact with him.

 

[cheshireqt]

What a terrible thing for a Mother to hear. Hope you are able to figure out what is going on. It sounds like there was enough fact in her email to make you feel it is a very real concern (he feels regret for how his marriage ended, he has isolated himself from friends and is depressed about not seeing his daughter). I agree with PPs, if you can't get to him, find a reason for him to come to you. Whatever you do don't burn this one channel you have to find out the backstory of what is going on. Always protect a source, is a good motto!
Can you facilitate a better relationship with his DD? Is there anything you can do to help him with that aspect of his possible depression?

 

[Tink888]

Can you fly down to see him? If not, would driving down be impossible or just uncomfortable? If I could tolerate it, I'd drive down if flying wasn't an option.

Isolated and hopeless are a big deal to me. Sometimes adult children don't want their parents to know anything is wrong. A person can fake their way through a phone call. They can make excuses as to why they can't come see you.

You need to see and talk to your son face to face. Just show up. Use your hip surgery as the excuse. Tell him that you needed a change of scenery and could use some help and company. Helping you will give him a purpose and you can see him in his surroundings. Get him out (if you are physically able). Go to dinner, do a little sightseeing, a movie, whatever. Build him up and get him talking.

Good luck!