What would you do?

[OrlandoMike]

I have a friend who's life is pretty much going down the toilet, fast!

This friend doesn't seem to have a clue why......

Should I confront this friend? And if so, do it publically via the Internet, or privatly......

Half of me wants to hug this person, and the other half wants me to smack em!

 

[starann]

I'm assuming that since your friend don't have a clue why.....they need a good ole swift kick in the behind...not a hug or a smack!

It may not make a bit of difference as far as them straightening out their life, but it sure would make you feel better! (the kick that is!)

For some people it is just easier to play the 'poor poor me' card than to do something to change their situation. I would say privately, because if it is done for others to see it would be an excuse to play that card once more....although if done publicly there may be many others who feel the same way and it may start to open their eyes.

Good luck!

 

[ToddyLu]

Always privately...if they do not change behaviors or improve their situation then you may have to be a friend from a distance. I personally to not do facebook or MySpace stuff and find that revealing issues on there is just tacky. Once they know how you feel, you will be better able to assess your involvement with them. You can love somebody and still not support their behavior.

 

[rpmdfw]

I have a friend who's life is pretty much going down the toilet, fast!

This friend doesn't seem to have a clue why......

Should I confront this friend? And if so, do it publically via the Internet, or privatly......

Half of me wants to hug this person, and the other half wants me to smack em!

Nope. Don't confront them at all.

It's his/her mess to deal with.

In my experience trying to be helpful in this situation is just going to have this person react negatively to you, and then you end up caught in the blamestorm that comes up the next time something goes wrong.

Not worth the negative energy.

Ultimately this person is going to clean up their mess, or they're going to hit rock bottom. It may not be easy to watch, but don't let yourself get sucked into it.

 

[wallyb]

I have a friend who's life is pretty much going down the toilet, fast!
This friend doesn't seem to have a clue why......
Should I confront this friend? And if so, do it publically via the Internet, or privatly......
Half of me wants to hug this person, and the other half wants me to smack em!

Geeeesh Mike you could have just TOLD me right out
you don't like the new hair color!

 

[Dead Robot]

You know when the Titanic was going down they told the survivors lucky enough to get on a life raft to GET AWAY AS FAR AS POSSIBLE for fear of getting sucked under with the ship.

But that being said, you can try as much as you can to salvage what you can.

(Why am I talking in Jean Luc Picard metaphors this morning?)

 

[kingLouiethe1]

Nope. Don't confront them at all.

It's his/her mess to deal with.

In my experience trying to be helpful in this situation is just going to have this person react negatively to you, and then you end up caught in the blamestorm that comes up the next time something goes wrong.

Not worth the negative energy.

Ultimately this person is going to clean up their mess, or they're going to hit rock bottom. It may not be easy to watch, but don't let yourself get sucked into it.

I think he's right about this, butting in often turns you into the bad guy, but if this person continues on this downward spiral you may lose a friends soon anyway, so what have you got to lose.

 

[TinkerChelle]

Mike, I think it all depends on how close you are to this person. I have a few friends that are like my sisters and believe me I tell it like it is! Sometimes the truth hurts but if you have the conversation in a loving, helpful tone and you present it in a "I care about u so I am going to be honest" way it could turn out to be very eye opening for your friend.

If you aren't extremely close to this person then I would just keep my opinions to myself.

 

[wallyb]

Sleep with them first - then tell them what you think.

 

[rpmdfw]

More important than what you should do is this: WHO IS IT?!?!?!

Is it someone we know?

Is it someone here?

What's the dirt?

We want all the sordid details!

C'mon! Inquiring minds want to know!




It's Luis, isn't it?

 

[OrlandoMike]

It's Luis, isn't it?

Sadly yes......The whole immigration thing!

 

[rpmdfw]

Sadly yes......The whole immigration thing!

I KNEW IT!

Tell us more!

We need details!

 

[OrlandoMike]

It was pretty messy....

Chains...Dogs.....Guns........

 

[wallyb]

Sadly yes......The whole immigration thing!

Dang - I thought you meant JLouis.

 

[kingLouiethe1]

It was pretty messy....

Chains...Dogs.....Guns........

that sounds like a pretty god time to me! What you call a downward spiral Mike, I call Thursday.

 

[Tony-NJ]

I think it deopends who it is, but either way tell them in person, not via the internet!

 

[kingLouiethe1]

I think it deopends who it is, but either way tell them in person, not via the internet!

Well, you might want to tell this person from a distance if they have violent tendencies (like Rob), or gas (like Rosie).

 

[Tony-NJ]

Well, you might want to tell this person from a distance if they have violent tendencies (like Rob), or gas (like Rosie).

In either of these cases - over the phone would be apopropriate

 

[zeitzeuge]

If you're really close to this person, I'd take them aside privately and have a come to Jesus meeting. If they're not one of your closest and dearest friends, I would probably stay out of it and not get sucked into the middle of it. I have a couple VERY close friends that are almost like brothers to me and I wouldn't let them hit rock bottom without saying something to them that way I can at least walk away and say that I tried.

 

[wallyb]

I'm thinking a hello kitty E-card would be good!

Hello Kitty says -
"Your life is going down the crapper!"