What would you do? Please settle a dispute.

[TnKrBeLlA012]

Please give me your thoughts on this. My 2 year old daughter has been biting. She went to my sister's daughter's birthday. While playing with her daughter my daughter bite her daughter. I didn't see the incident while it happened but her mother-in-law was right there. She grabbed my daughter's hand and smaked it. My sister thought I had seen but I didn't. The next day she called and said she felt bad about what her mother-in-law did. I told her I didn't know what she did. I think she probably wanted to kick herself at that pointe. She proceeded to tell me about the hand smack. I felt a little mad but I didn't tell her. My sister's mother-in-law is right from Italy. They lived on a farm and are different people. That taken in consideration I just dropped it. My husband is upset. He thinks I should say something. I think it's over and done with. I will let it go. My daughter was doing something she shouldn't have done. I'm close to my sister so I don't want to make a big deal about it. My sister feels bad. My husband thinks I'm defending her. I think he wants me to beat up the mother-in-law. (Just kidding. Not that drastic) So does anyone think I should say anything? I say no, but my husband says I should. So he says I should pose this question on the board. What do you think?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Let it go...next time your dd is around the sisters MIL carefully keep an eye on her.

 

[liznboys]

I think you have the right idea, let it go. Your dh will get over it in time.

 

[DoeWDW]

Let it go and more carefully watch your daughter when your sister's MIL is present. It's over and done, and nothing you say to the MIL is going to change her behavior, but you should not allow her to be watching over your child anymore.

 

[RobinMarie]

I agree, let it go.

 

[Rajah]

I also agree -- let it go.

 

[RitaZ.]

Let it go.

 

[dg39]

Let it go...Its after the fact, you didn't see it(this time) Just be aware for the next time your in her company.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Let it go.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

I'd let it go as well...
I know as a mom of 2 biters, I wanted others who caught them to pop their hand or in some way let them know it was wrong if I wasn't around...

 

[Kallison]

A hand smack will not kill her, however I would let the MIL she is not to strike my child again.

 

[Dakota_Lynn]

I would also let it go. While I'm generally against spanking a child, a hand smack is pretty minor and I doubt she'll even remember it. Keep in mind two things: First, this woman comes from a rural area in a different country. It may be acceptable to physically punish children there. She may be unaware that it is inappropriate here. Second, her grandchild was bitten by another kid. I'd be upset, too. Since nobody else took immediate action to discipline your daughter, she apparently took action herself. While I would never hit somebody else's child (I don't even hit my own) I would be pretty irritated if my child/grandchild got bit by another kid and nobody did anything about it. I'm just suggesting that you try to look at it from that perspective. In fact, ask your husband how he would have felt had somebody's child harmed his daughter. Put in that perspective, maybe he will be able to just let it go as it really is a minor incident in the big picture of life. Your daughter will go through a thousand injustices...as parents, we just can't shield them from every bad thing that happens.

What I would consider doing is talking nicely to the grandmother of the other child and explaining to her that you made the decision to not use physical punishment when disciplining your children. Explain to her that had you been aware that your child harmed her granddaughter, that she would have been punished in a different way. She may not agree with your methods, but hopefully she'll abide by your wishes. Then if she does it again, then beat her up!

 

[Judy from Boise]

I am sure that it happened so quickly that the MIl just responded as she would have for her own. Was it possible that your DD was still biting and the hand slap was to get her to "let go"? Either way I would let it go.

 

[lapinluv]

I'm with your DH. I think something should be said to the MIL. No one has the right to physically discipline your child. My grandmother is also from Italy and she would never do that to her own grandchild, never mind someone else's. At the very least, you should let your sister know that you appreciate her telling you but you are upset about it.

I would take it the next step and call the MIL and tell her that the next time something like that happens, she should find you or your DH, so you can discipline your DD in the way you feel appropriate.

Just my $.02.

 

[Disney Princess 6]

I would also say to let this go. It's only going to stir up trouble and controversy and I don't really know what you'll accomplish by accosting your sister's MIL. Your DD will eventually outgrow the biting. Until then - try to be very watchful of her when she's playing with any other child. It would be best if you could intervene with her as she's getting ready to bite with a firm "NO! We don't bite!"