What to send?

[live4christp1]

Some dear friends lost their 5 1/2 week old preemie this week. They are many states away. Would like to send something but not sure what. Flowers just don't seem to fit.

 

[MomofKatie]

A donation to their favorite charity in the baby's name, perhaps? What a terrible thing to happen to them...

 

[Kimmumum]

They would probably like a card with a nice heartfelt note inside. At times like these they really don't want "anything", just the love of those around them.

Prayers for them.

 

[Chelley00]

What about a gift card for a meal? I'm sure they won't feel like cooking, and could order in.

 

[nmmom95]

I lost a preemie and it is an extremely difficult time. My husband's aunt had a star named for him for what would have been his first birthday. It was the most thoughtful gift I've ever received.

 

[Amy]

I had a stillborn baby girl almost 21 years ago (Nov. 2, 1988), and you know what mattered the most to me? People who were willing to mention her and not pretend that she didn't even exist. As for gifts, something for them to remember their baby is perfect - maybe an engraved ornament for their Christmas tree? A gift to a charity in the baby's name. Maybe an engraved picture frame so they can keep a photo of their baby.

 

[live4christp1]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I saw something called Purple Hearts for Preemies and it appears that the proceeds go to help the March of Dimes but I can't find a place to order one.

All your ideas have helped. Thanks for the prayers on behalf of them.

Cristy

 

[live4christp1]

http://208.112.59.164/heart.html

Found the Preemie Purple Heart. Do you all think this would be appropriate? We can add a message inside the box I'm thinking "In loving honor of (baby's name)" and maybe some gift cards. If I can find a place that will hand paint an ornament or engrave I would probably add that as well.

Thanks all!

 

[krcit]

I'm so sorry for their loss. A few years ago, a casual friend of mine lost her 4 month old baby. I found a place online and had a memorial bracelet made. It had the baby's birth stone and his name engraved.I can't remember the website but maybe if you search memorial jewelry? She seemed to really like it.

 

[keenercam]

I lost a preemie and it is an extremely difficult time. My husband's aunt had a star named for him for what would have been his first birthday. It was the most thoughtful gift I've ever received.

This is exactly what I was going to recommend. I think it is a beautiful sentiment.

 

[hucifer]

What about sending them a small tree that they could plant in the baby's honor?

I couldn't imagine anything more difficult than losing a child.

 

[live4christp1]

What about sending them a small tree that they could plant in the baby's honor?

I couldn't imagine anything more difficult than losing a child.

That's a good idea as well. They do garden a lot and are very outdoors. They are in Michigan though.....what would be a good tree for that area?


We lost two through miscarriage between the birth of our DS and the birth of our DD. First trimester on one and then 15 weeks on the 2nd. Like a pp said.....in that situation it was almost like a lot of people didn't even acknowledge it, like they weren't real because they never took a breath here but they were real to me.

So I especially want our friends to know that we are thinking of them during this difficult time and you all have given me some great ideas. I'll have to discuss with DH and see what he thinks we should send.

Thanks all for posting.

One other thought. I've never had to deal with all the expenses etc of having a baby in NICU but I can imagine the bills could get pretty staggering even with insurance. We had close friends here who did have a baby in NICU for several weeks and we were able to contribute to them anonymously through our church to help with those expenses. I don't want to offend these friends in any way and can't offer huge amounts but do you think it would be inappropriate to send a monitary gift other than gift cards for food?

 

[Motherofboys]

That's a good idea as well. They do garden a lot and are very outdoors. They are in Michigan though.....what would be a good tree for that area?

A pine tree of some sort, so they can plant it now regardless of what part of the state they are in.

You should be able to call a florist and see if they offer something along those lines.

 

[hucifer]

That's a good idea as well. They do garden a lot and are very outdoors. They are in Michigan though.....what would be a good tree for that area?

We live in Michigan. A great place to get info would be http://www.wiegandsnursery.com/. We buy a lot of our trees and plants from them. If nothing else, they would be very helpful as to what type of tree works best.

Personally, we love sunset maples. They are GORGEOUS in the fall. Oak trees do well here, as well as non-fruit bearing pear trees. Or try a weeping cherry...they have the most beautiful purple/pink flowers in the spring.

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I remember falling in love with my son the first time I saw him kicking around on the ultrasound. A death inside the womb isn't necessarily any easier than outside.

 

[live4christp1]

We live in Michigan. A great place to get info would be http://www.wiegandsnursery.com/. We buy a lot of our trees and plants from them. If nothing else, they would be very helpful as to what type of tree works best.

Personally, we love sunset maples. They are GORGEOUS in the fall. Oak trees do well here, as well as non-fruit bearing pear trees. Or try a weeping cherry...they have the most beautiful purple/pink flowers in the spring.

I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages. I remember falling in love with my son the first time I saw him kicking around on the ultrasound. A death inside the womb isn't necessarily any easier than outside.

Thanks! I looked up the weeping cherry and oh how beautiful and I think it would be a beautiful tribute to their little girl. Reading the info about it though says they need to be planted early in the planting season to make it through the winter so I think we might send something now and then send one of these at the first of spring just to let them know they are still in our thoughts.

 

[TLHB70]

A lady from my church started a ministry for this after losing her new baby. They offer a box of items specifically for times like this. I have sent an email asking for a link/contact information. I have seen the brochures before; surely it is somewhere online. I will post back when I get the information for you.

 

[live4christp1]

A lady from my church started a ministry for this after losing her new baby. They offer a box of items specifically for times like this. I have sent an email asking for a link/contact information. I have seen the brochures before; surely it is somewhere online. I will post back when I get the information for you.

Thank you!!!!

 

[hucifer]

Thanks! I looked up the weeping cherry and oh how beautiful and I think it would be a beautiful tribute to their little girl. Reading the info about it though says they need to be planted early in the planting season to make it through the winter so I think we might send something now and then send one of these at the first of spring just to let them know they are still in our thoughts.

The weeping cherry is a personal favorite of mine. I love the idea of sending it in the spring.

 

[Handbag Lady]

A guy at work and his wife lost their baby three weeks prior to birth.

We didn't know what to send and one fellow chimed up that years ago he and his wife suffered the same thing. He said that food was the best thing, since in both cases an older child was present and the parents would not want to worry about that as well as feeding close family members who would visit the house.

We sent a HUGE platter of make-your-own sandwiches and picnic salads.

The family later told me it was really great to have several meals available that they could just pick at as needed as the wife recovered.




But I do love the idea of the bracelet, too. I wish I would have thought of that myself.

 

[TLHB70]

I am so sorry that it has taken this long to get this information!
I just talked to my friend that had the link.
Here are the links for the items that they offer for sale:
http://www.calebministries.org/pat/index.htm
http://www.calebministries.org/estore/Storefront.asp?catID=10


Here is a link for their ministry page:
http://www.calebministries.org/calebcares/EID.htm