What to give for a bat mitzvah?

[dfchelbay]

MOT here too. I'd go with $36.00. In these tough economic times, that is a good amount to give.

 

[NVDisMom]

Double Chai ($36).

 

[Kat77]

I know nothing about the celebration but I can not image that the family would want you to decline over the amount of a gift.

I'm with Mjkacmom, see if DD can borrow a dress from a friend. Girls whose parents do lots of events will have plenty to choose from!
Check out Burlington Coat Factory or Ross for dresses.

 

[JoiseyMom]

As another member of the tribe and I have so far thrown 2 Bar Mitzvah's...for just a friend $36 (double chai) is a perfect gift. The only kids that have gotten more have been family and friends of family that the entire family was invited too..then I usually give 10x Chai.

But for just a school friend...36.00 is a very appropriate gift, no matter how fancy the party is!! And I live in the expensive NJ/NY wedding partiers!!

 

[Cindy B]

This is what I was afraid of. I don't want to be rude, but after buying a new outfit for my daughter and a gift, this could end up costing me way more than I am comfortable with. I guess I will have to really think this over before she commits to going.

My daughter has gone to about 5 bar/bat mitzvahs so far this school year. She has found great dresses at Boscov's (NJ/PA dept store) for $9-20. No, she doesn't wear a new one for every event either. She basically has three that she has rotated around depending on the party.

My son has just worn dockers/dark dress pants, white dress shirt and tie.
I have seen some kids wearing polos and khakis and to me that is a bit too casual.

I would dress her like a she is going to a church function, nicer party or something like that. I have seen some girls wears business suit type things-- nice slacks and a blazer/jacket. I'm sure you have something in her closet that she can wear to this. As for the gift-- do what you can. The kids will have a great time!

 

[soontobewed07]

I have been to plenty of Bar/Bat mitzvahs please do not decline the invitation because of cost. This is a very special time in a child's life and they have worked VERY hard to get to this celebration. I have been to a range of different events from small gatherings to large events that span a weekend.

Forever 21 has some great dresses for a very low cost that would be appropriate or borrow a dress and I agree $36 would be a lovely gift, but if you cannot afford that or don't wish to give it find a small trinket.

 

[Evi]

I second the following the rule of $36 and up always staying with addition of 18. But how much should be based on a few things. A Bat Mitzvah is both a coming of age party as well as a reaffirmation of the Jewish religion. So its kind of like a first communion/confirmation/sweet 16 if that makes sense as far as its importance.

Base your gift on how big of a party is being thrown essentially is this a house party or catered function in a private facility. Also how close is your daughter to this child? As a golden rule I'd say not close everyone's being invited not a posh party more a family get together $36 + a small personal gift. High end function or very close friend give what you can afford anywhere from $54-180 would be appropriate but again base it on your budget also. Parents can go all out on planning and I've seen parties going into 15k plus range. So please be sure she is dressed appropriately I've seen some young ones feeling out of place for being under dressed.
I'm sure she'll have a wonderful time =)