what to do

[Faith09]

I'm taking my niece 5, son 18 and I to Disney. My brother was killed in a car accident last year (29). My niece is his only daughter whom I love DEARLY! My DN has a sister that 11 and I begged her mom last year to allow the 11 year old to visit Disney with us but she declined. I try to get the 11 year old along with my niece at times. I know this is not my brother child but always felt bad that her father and mother (mom 26 with three kids) never does anything with her. Well here's the problem. Since the economy is bad for me this year and the burial of my brother things or a little tight. My niece is so excited about Disney this year she is telling me she can't wait for her and her sister to go to D-I-S-N-E-Y and her mother said it's okay this time. I NEVER ONCE INVITED HER SISTER. We are staying at pop century and my 18 feels uncomfortable with the 11 year old in the same room. I'm pissed that the mom didn't ask me. Feeling sorry for the child I have no problem with her going but due to budget she will have to pay the difference in a room upgrade. Where can we stay that will fix us so my son can have a little privacy, he's worried about us changing clothes etc.....since pop don't have privacy door. Her grandmother told me to just take her and let her sleep on an air mattress. I've explained numerous times that the room is small and I am an honest person. She has to pay her way like the rest of us...I'm paying for niece including dinning. Uurrrgh the mom can pay for at least one child.

I really want it to be the three of us but feel like I'm being selfish...

 

[Justsyd2]

I would either try to upgrade to a moderate, (with a privacy curtain), or try to book two cheap rooms at a value. They did have a special for around $69.00 at the Values. Ask for help from your family money wise with taking the DN's 11 year old sister. Don't be too proud to ask for help. Her mother should contribute something to the trip.

 

[Lisa_M]

You can always switch to 1 room at a moderate.

The fourth person won't add much extra expense if you stay at POP. I would tell DS to suck it up and change in the bathroom. Isn't there a door for the bathroom?

I don't really have much advice. Since you invited the sister before and mom said no, perhaps your neice thought she was invited again. I probably would just pay for the extra child. If she doesn't go, her mom may say the neice can't go or your neice may be VERY disappointed to go without her sister. It's a tough situation...

 

[Faith09]

The 11 year old is not related to me. It's my niece sister ( two different baby daddy's) The mother will be responsible for paying the difference if I have to switch rooms and for all of the 11 year old expense.

 

[We4mickey]

How about a family suite at the all stars or a cabin at Fort Wilderness.

 

[Faith09]

I would tell DS to suck it up and change in the bathroom. Isn't there a door for the bathroom?

I was thinking the same thing but why should he it’s his vacation. Yes the bathroom has a door but no privacy curtain

How about a family suite at the all stars or a cabin at Fort Wilderness.

Thank you going to call travel agent.

 

[vsimeone]

If it were me...

I'd stay in the room at Pop. The sister will still just make 4 of you right? If Son is uncomfortable sharing a bed, everyone take turns on the air mattress. Bring a spring-loaded shower curtain rod and a shower curtain to put in the "doorway" of the sink area. It will serve as a privacy curtain.

I know we're all related but we're a family of 4 and the "kids" were 17 and 20 during this last trip. We're not incredibly fickle about privacy but we always seem to manage to make do! To me, it's a minor sacrifice for the time that you spend in a room together, to be able to enjoy WDW.

Best wishes with your decision!

 

[Perditamarie]

I have read on these boards about people making their own privacy curtain w/a shower curtain, tension rod or no-mark hooks that stick to the wall.

I hope your trip works out for all!

 

[Faith09]

If it were me...

I'd stay in the room at Pop. The sister will still just make 4 of you right? If Son is uncomfortable sharing a bed, everyone take turns on the air mattress. Bring a spring-loaded shower curtain rod and a shower curtain to put in the "doorway" of the sink area. It will serve as a privacy curtain.

I know we're all related but we're a family of 4 and the "kids" were 17 and 20 during this last trip. We're not incredibly fickle about privacy but we always seem to manage to make do! To me, it's a minor sacrifice for the time that you spend in a room together, to be able to enjoy WDW.

Best wishes with your decision!

good idea

 

[Octoberbabiesrus]

Okay so first thing that came to mind is he isnt comfertable with the privacy level with a 11yr old, but fine with a 5 yr old? Mom, time to tell the 18 yr old that the bathroom has door....change there.

Your next thing has three options, price out what it cost to add her. and either A) pay B) tell mom to pay C) tell mom straight out, you cant afford to take her.

 

[disbridemimi]

Dont let the 11 year old feel like she is a burden! I think that if you make it an issue with her mom, the 11 y/o will end up feeling just awful if she hears it. Maybe just ask mom how much she is contributing or how much she is sending as "spending money" that could help with the extra cost.

I dont think there is a need to change rooms? I mean you could get two or an all star suite?

 

[Faith09]

Okay so first thing that came to mind is he isnt comfertable with the privacy level with a 11yr old, but fine with a 5 yr old? Mom, time to tell the 18 yr old that the bathroom has door....change there.

Your next thing has three options, price out what it cost to add her. and either A) pay B) tell mom to pay C) tell mom straight out, you cant afford to take her.

Was trying not to let the cat out about the reasoning behind my sons concerns. To not gross anyone out it happen to be about her hygeine, bed wetting and being on her monthly. i've tried so hard to help her mom with these issue and set up doctor appointment. It's a long and personal story. Son has good reasons. I had to purchase son a new mattress and professionally clean couch. Thing still occurs after talking with her and her mom and purchasing items for her. Her mom just not taking time with her. she live with her grandmother now. I still continue to allow her to visit and even have one one girl day out with her.

 

[Faith09]

Dont let the 11 year old feel like she is a burden! I think that if you make it an issue with her mom, the 11 y/o will end up feeling just awful if she hears it. Maybe just ask mom how much she is contributing or how much she is sending as "spending money" that could help with the extra cost.

I dont think there is a need to change rooms? I mean you could get two or an all star suite?

checking out allstate suite now....I just wished someone would have ask me first!!!

 

[carolrie]

IMHO this little 11 year old seems like a little lost soul. You are doing a wonderful thing by including her in a family vaction that it seems she would never goet otherwise. Also, just including her in a family that seems to be caring and "normal" may be a pivital point in showing her what she wants to be like when she is a mom and the kind of life she wants when she grows up. Not the neglect she seems to be getting from her "real" family. I would see this as your opportunity to do something kind and could see this as something she will remember for a lifetime that may impact her greatly in her choices for lifestyles later in life.

I totally understand how you feel about the asking. The mom definately should have asked you, but if she doesn't even care about her 11 year old enough to help her with her issues of bed wetting and helping her on her journey to womanhood by dealing with the monthly issue, I doubt being socially appropraite is high on her list. Also with the fact that this girl is now living at the grandmas, it seems the mom doesn't have much interest at all in her. I understand your sons concerns and probably feelings of invasion in his family vacation, but I think this is also a great way to teach your son to how to look outside himself and do things that help others. What a great life lesson to teach him! The rewards in that are many times greater than the rewards you can get any other way. Maybe you can include your son in how to make it workable either with staggered times in the bathroom, a curtain, etc. If he is the one who makes the plan he will be more likely to feel good about it. Also maybe you could include him in how to help make this trip magical for her. If you can get him to put himself in her situation and how he would like to be helped if he had her life, I am sure he will be excited about some of the "pixie dust" he can send her way. Maybe he can do some secret speical things for her during the trip. I think this will help to make his trip more magical as well. I know when we do things that are nice for others (like giving away some of our unused fastpasses,etc) it makes our day.

As far as the money issues I understand that is tough. Since you have offered before, I'm sure the mom or maybe even the 11 year old just assumed the offer was still good from before. If it is really a difficulty for you maybe you can just explain to the mom that things are tighter for you now than they were before because of some of the money issues you have had to deal with. Maybe the 11 year old could help you do some fund raising (you could even get all the kids included in this) I mean things like maybe going through their stuff for a garage sale, selling things on e-bay, craigslist, doing chores for people like mowing lawns, pulling weeds (even if just for relative or for you If there are any odd jobs around your house she could help with that you could "pay" her for that wold just go into her vacation fund, etc. If the kids get involved in working for their vacations, I think it also makes them value them more and even get more excited about them. I am doing this with my 10 and 8 year olds this year. It has been a valuable lesson for them in the value of money, working for a goal, and making sacrifices for something they want.

Sorry I wrote a book here. You are doing a very nice thing!

 

[DawnM]

Can you just stay in a condo off property?

When are you going?

I would look at a different option for this trip. For the price of POP you can get a nice 2 bedroom/2 bath condo. Your son can have his own room and bathroom if you want to do it that way.

You can even save $$ on food by having the kitchen right there.

I would find a way to make it work, really.....I have a cousin that passed away with kids from different dads too and so I do "get" it.

Dawn

 

[Faith09]

You are doing a very nice thing!

thank you!!! Not to be gross my son having a hard time with the mattress and other bloody items found stored in his room during her visits. We have talked at length. I'm a nurse so trauma incidents have been shared with him and he get nauseated but gets over it. He agree to make the best of the situation.

On the other hand her mom called me today. I reminded her of me being out of work two week with no PTO due to Acute bronchitis. I am willing to share our room at the pop and make a privacy curtain. I told the mom she MUST pay the difference I can't afford to pay for both children, I will pay for one..... She stated she will have to use the social security check my niece receives due to my brother death and pay the 11 year old way because she has a car payment...UUURGGH!! I'M SO OVER IT..SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND LIVING WITH HER WITH NO JOB!!!
When my brother was living he tried to purchase the 11 year old thing for christmas because her face was so sad when my niece got alot of gifts from us. My brother, grandmother and I made a pack to purchase the 11 year old christmas present each year as well(and the new one year old). I would love to take her. she will always charish this moment with her sister. My brother will be smiling down from heaven as well. Her mother MUST do her part!!!

 

[Faith09]

Can you just stay in a condo off property?

When are you going?

I would look at a different option for this trip. For the price of POP you can get a nice 2 bedroom/2 bath condo. Your son can have his own room and bathroom if you want to do it that way.

You can even save $$ on food by having the kitchen right there.

I would find a way to make it work, really.....I have a cousin that passed away with kids from different dads too and so I do "get" it.

Dawn

Thank you for your reply, you are correct i could but we love staying on property. The first 4 days will be off property while visiting I.O.A we will have a suite then. I've utilized AAA agent today continously. She will be staying in the room with us at Pop century. If her mother pays the difference. The 11 year old is not my niece it's my real niece sister that comes to visit with her sister at times. I must admit the 11 year is A VERY SWEET GIRL.

 

[Faith09]

Talked with T.A the difference will be around $800.. this will includes:

vista Grande July 30-4 I'm paying
3 theme park tickets
IOA and US

Pop century August 4-11
D. Dinning plan

one day at daytona beach!

11 year old grandmother says she will split the difference with mom....

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Seems like you worked it all out, but I jsut wanted to say how lucky your neice is to have you get her throught this awful time in her life, and how nice too her sister is that you are including her so they can still enjoy sister times. You are a kind person for even offering. You are teaching your son to have a big heart!

 

[Faith09]

Seems like you worked it all out, but I jsut wanted to say how lucky your neice is to have you get her throught this awful time in her life, and how nice too her sister is that you are including her so they can still enjoy sister times. You are a kind person for even offering. You are teaching your son to have a big heart!

Thank you I hope it works out so my niece and her sister can share a magical moment together...My niece singing "we are going to disney song" she asked me if her one year old brother could come I HAPPILY SAID NOOOOOOO!!!