What to do with a 13yr. old.

[madcoco]

Our daughter loved the kids clubs especially when she didn't have to go to the "boring" dinners with us at the GF,WL,AKL etc.
Now that she is 13 she is really down in the dumps and wants to know why she can't just say she is still 12. Also most of the tours you can't do until 16. They discontinued the kids programs at the DI(as well as the DI) a while ago. She is doing teen night at VB.

Any tips on what to do for someone at this in-between age? (We won't make her sit through the boring dinners.She has to do that enough at home).

 

[DisneyVa.]

We have a 9 year old son who is still very happy to do things with his parents. Our teenage daughter has made us miserable for several trips. I even told her she was not going on our next vacation at all! (we go to Disney world every year). I told her " I don't need to spend thousands of dollars to be miserable, I can do that at home for free. We even went on the Disney cruise 2 years ago and she wouldn't even want to be seen with us.
Well, last year ( at age 15) we let her take a friend along. Boy what a difference!!!!!! We had the best vacation we have had in years. They stayed with us all the time except one night when they went to see a movie. Everyone was happy the whole week.
They even took time with my son and took him to the parks with them one morning without us. Another idea would be to invite another family along with a child the same age as yours. We have also done this on three different vacations. We were not together the whole time, but enough to keep everybody happy.
Her friend purchased their park pass and since we were in a room that slept 5, their was no extra cost for the extra person.
We paid for most of the meals since we had invited them as a quest but her parents still sent us extra money for meals. Oh well sorry to go on so long, but this really does work! We are going to Disney again this year, and yes my daughter is taking a friend. We are staying at the Contemporary.

 

[Eeyore2U]

DS has been going to DQ since he was 11 by himself. We would meet him at a designated time to go back to the resort and about 12 he would take the bus himself.

 

[Momto8]

I agree with DisneyVa. We bring our 12 year old neice along with us on all our trips. The girls have a great time together.

It is a difficult time when you are in the early teen years. Too young to be by yourself and too old to want to be with your parents all the time. I can remember I didn't want to do anything with my parents when I was between 13-17. It wasn't "cool". I didn't even want to go on vacation with them. I usually stayed at my cousin's house, which was only a couple of blocks from my house in Chicago. I would rather be at home with my friends then.

 

[madcoco]

Thanks for the ideas. It would be nice if the resorts had some type of teen club like they have on the DCL or more teen night out type things to correspond with the "kiddie clubs". She does have some local friends meeting us for a few of the days so like you mentioned that should really help.Dad is just not use to hearing "that boy is cute" mixed in with Mickey and Minnie and the rest of the gang are cute. LOL

 

[Lcm2108]

For the last three years, since my DD was 12, we have allowed her to take a friend. This is wonderful! She's 15 now and we are going in June and she is taking the same friend who came with us 4 times so far! Her friend gets an AP and sometimes gets 2-3 uses from it!

Letting her bring a friend is SO much better than hearing her complain or having to "be seen" with us! The girls even bring my 6 year old DS swimming, to eat, etc.

This year, I'm buying her friend the AP and paying for all meals as her dad is laid off. In exchange, all I ask is a few nights of sitting so DH and I can have a nice meal or go to PI.

Lisa

 

[TeresaNJ]

We too let our kids bring a friend. It is easier since we always stay in a two bedroom villa anyway when the kids come. My DD is 16, and she has so much more fun having a friend with her. Same goes for my sons, who are 21 & 22. My older son is bringing his girlfriend when we go in July, and the younger son is bringing a guy friend, although all the kids hang out together. The friends pay for their airfare and AP's, and we provide the lodging and most of the food. The kids pay for their fast food, snacks and souveneirs. It's well worth the extra money for the food. We stop at a grocery store on the way from the airport for perishables, soda, etc., and use Netgrocer for the other stuff, and have it shipped ahead of time.

 

[SuzyQue]

I guess I should consider myself lucky, I have 2 DDs, 16 & 19 and they just love going to Disney with Mom & Dad. Maybe it's because they are both girls & not that far apart in age, but about the only thing they do on there own is sitting in the hot tub at night after returning from the parks (just can't imagine what keeps them so interested in the hot tub ). Maybe it's because our lives are just so busy at home that there is very little time when all 4 of us can spend any length of time together. We were just there in February and I asked them if Feb. 2003 is too soon to return...Heck No!! ...was their answer. ~~

 

[KelliR]

Madcoco...what is teen night at VB?

 

[DisneyLisa]

Like SuzyQue, I guess I'm lucky.. Last year I took a friend for DD (then 13) & they had fun but we are going again this July & DD wants to go alone with my friend & I. Maybe the difference is that it's my friend, DD & I...all females (leaving both DH & DS's at home).

 

[madcoco]

Madcoco...what is teen night at VB?

Really don't know what they do this year. However last visit, they were taking the kids to the local mall,pizza and a movie. Cost I believe was around $20-25. Our daughter was only 12 at the time so she couldn't go.Her and her friend did some type of dinner and movie at the resort.

The problem with taking one of her school friends along is, that we live almost the entire summer in Fl. Opposite of snowbirds.
Sunbirds?Dodobirds? Her friends parents will not let them stay that long or will not let them fly by theirselves.
She does have local friends that spend the night or drive over for the day with their parents and that helps quite a bit.She loves Disney( and being with us most of the time.LOL) but just getting to that age. Thanks once again for the replies.

 

[ducklite]

I went through this a couple years ago. What a pain. You hit the nail on the head, Disney doesn't offer much for the "tweeners".

Now that Disney Quest is open, it does give a bit of an option. We take our son there, buy his ticket, give him a specific place to meet us at a specific time, and some pocket cash, and send him on in.

They won't stop the kids from leaving, but we never told him that you can come in and out, and I don't think he realizes that it's an option

He's always been on time to meet us, and I do'nt think he'd even want to leave, he has so much fun there.

You could drop her off there and then go to dinner. It closes at midnight, which gives you plenty of time. And it's cheaper than the kdis clubs too If she's going to go more than three times in a year, just buy her a DQAP.

Anne

PS--We always picked him up from DQ at the appointed time. Never let him ride the bus back on his own. We will this time (he's 16 now). I just didn't feel comfortable when he was younger.

 

[musicfan]

When my son was 13, he spent a fair amount of time at DQ on his own, and took the bus back to the resort. We even let him go alone to a couple of parks that were different from the ones his Dad and I went to. Being able to be "on his own" a couple of times really made a big difference in his attitude. But I would never have been able to do this if he wasn't a very responsible kid. That's why staying onsite is so great -- the bus transportation makes it easy for teens to get around.

Now that he's 15, I'm sure he's going to want to spend a fair amount of time on his own, but he knows WDW better than we do, so I don't worry (much)!

 

[MJames41]

I've been fortunate myself with my kids. Being a single parent means I can't afford for them to take a friend (I have one of each - DD 16 (going on 32) and DS 15. One thing that is truly nice is that they both get along really well. One thing I do allow is them to go to different places on property if they wish. They are both very responsible, and Disney transportation (and Disney security) makes it so easy. I mention the security because when was the last time you went for more than 50 feet on property without seeing a CM? I know that if something happens and one gets lost, they have someone right there who can help. The funny thing is, when we are there and they have the option to wander off, they'd rather spend the time with dad. I guess I'm just really lucky.

 

[Trekker]

I think that in the remake of the Planet of the Apes that came out a year or so ago, there is the greatest line about teens...

One ape says to the other: Be sure to get it out of your house, if there is one thing you do not want in your house, it is a human teenager.......


LOL! Ok, Ok, it is only a joke I have 2 of my own that sometimes do n ot know what to do in the evenings.....

 

[mikesmom]

When DS was that age, we let him go off by himself for periods of time. He was very used to the layout at WDW from several trips (as yours probably is) and was very comfortable. He spent WAY longer at Innoventions than we wanted to, and several other places. We started with short periods of time (2 hours) and extended those periods as it became apparent that he met us exactly when and where he promised.

Two years ago we joined DVC, and since then he's brought a buddy along. Both methods have worked out real well for us. To be honest, though, he never did go through the phase where he just didn't want to go or be seen with us, he just wanted to spend extended time at attractions we didn't.

By the way, I can tell you why your daughters are hanging out at the hot tub late. They're down there talking to my son, LOL.

 

[SuzyQue]

Gee... should we make them wear lime green ribbons on their suits?? ~~

 

[ivrysbaby]

Our daughter is 13 and she can't do the things that her 10 cousin and 9 year old brother can do. I was wondering what we could do to give her some time to herself but of course with us going with her I did post an earlier thread and got some good replys especially about Disney Quest. I'm sure she will enjoy that we will be about 2 to 3 feet behind with xray vision watching her every move she is her daddys baby and mine too i must say another thing i found out about the z ride nights so after the little one's are down for the night with my mom we will take her those nights also

 

[MineeBaby]

I think a friend or a sibling is great to go off with in the park...when i was younger, we went to Disney World every summer and on occassional Christmas's. Since I was about 14, my parents would let me and my (at the time) 11 year old brother just go off and do what we wanted, and they would either pick us up in the taxi parking lot (when we stayed off property at a local timeshare) or when on disney property, we would take the Disney transportation home! From the kids point of view, it was the absolute best! As cell phones became cheaper and more available, dad gave us his to use in the park in case we needed to call...we just went this past christmas with the same routine, and hes graduating high school tomorrow!! I also know when he was young, he was invited to go to Dinsey with his friend's family, and they did the same thing...nothing beats being a kid in the park feeling independent and grown-up, especially with the security Disney provides.