What to do...what to do

[phorsenuf]

Last weekend my husband and I flew up to NH to see our kids and celebrate Christmas with my side of the family (there was about 28 of us!). It was a great trip and we said we would do this in lieu of getting each other presents. Well....now I'm not liking that idea so much and I think my husband bought me the kindle I've been wanting, even though I said not too because I wanted him to go up north.
I asked him last night if he bought me any presents and he alluded to the fact that he did. Problem is I don't know on what scale.

I had already bought him 2 little things and I did tell him I was filling his stocking. So I'm thinking of heading out today to get him a couple gifts. I just don't know what though. I was thinking a new computer game or maybe one of those shoot em games for the Wii. But I just don't know how big to go or if I should at all. I don't want him getting upset that I bought him things after we agreed not to and I don't want to take the chance of not buying him anything either.

So how would you handle this??

 

[PUZZLDY5]

If I were you I would buy him whatever you wanted to but him in the first place. Don't worry about how much he spent on you or being "even". Do what makes you happy.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Buy him what you think he will enjoy. If it comes from you it comes from the heart and I am sure he will enjoy it.

 

[Tanbellisima]

Last weekend my husband and I flew up to NH to see our kids and celebrate Christmas with my side of the family (there was about 28 of us!). It was a great trip and we said we would do this in lieu of getting each other presents. Well....now I'm not liking that idea so much and I think my husband bought me the kindle I've been wanting, even though I said not too because I wanted him to go up north.

I asked him last night if he bought me any presents and he alluded to the fact that he did. Problem is I don't know on what scale.

I had already bought him 2 little things and I did tell him I was filling his stocking. So I'm thinking of heading out today to get him a couple gifts. I just don't know what though. I was thinking a new computer game or maybe one of those shoot em games for the Wii. But I just don't know how big to go or if I should at all. I don't want him getting upset that I bought him things after we agreed not to and I don't want to take the chance of not buying him anything either.

So how would you handle this??

Ok, so you made an agreement right? No gifts. But you love your husband so you bought him something little. What if you let that be enough. Have you gotten him a Christmas card? If you haven't why don't you write him a Christmas letter telling him what he means to you. Write some sentimental stuff too like how your remember your first kiss together, how he makes you feel when he does that particular thing he does, all those lovey bubbley feelings. Write it down in a pretty card and put it in the stocking you have for him. Let that be enough. Let your husband if he has done so (and your gut tells you he has) do for you. Let him give to you. It will be a selfless act on your part to let him have th ejoy of giving to his wife something she wants. It will really be good for him and your marriage.

In our modern society we have come to believe that everything has to be equal. But that is not true. Equality in a marriage is sometimes detrimental. A scientific fact is that a human being has to do for another human being to become attached and to love the other person. So true and it has been proven by Harvard, Yale, Stanford studies etc. That is why babies are so helpless. Adults have to care for the baby and that attaches them emotionally to the infant. Let your husband do for you. Let him do more for you in this momemnt than you do for him. It will bond him to you more. It is a good thing. Also remember that you agreement not to get presents. I'm old fashioned and it never hurts to do what your husband says IMO.

Merry Christmas and Many Blessing to You and Yours

 

[Hannathy]

You already broke your agreement when you got him something little! Why? When my DH and agree to something we do what we agreed to. My DH would be very annoyed that I bought anything.

I would leave it at the stocking and if you already bought the little stuff give him that but then STOP you made an agreement stick to it.

Why make the agreement in the first place if it is meaningless?

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Get him this :

 

[phorsenuf]

You already broke your agreement when you got him something little! Why? When my DH and agree to something we do what we agreed to. My DH would be very annoyed that I bought anything.

I would leave it at the stocking and if you already bought the little stuff give him that but then STOP you made an agreement stick to it.

Why make the agreement in the first place if it is meaningless?

I already had those 2 things beforehand.

What happened was this;
We were not planning to go north for Christmas but then my husband told me at least I should go for the family get-together (which was last weekend). I agreed and booked my ticket. My husband couldn't go up because he had no time left to take off and he was covering for someone. So the day before I left, which was Thursday, I said I would rather he spent the money he was going to use for my presents for a plane ticket instead. Go up on Saturday, home on Sunday. He agreed.
But then Monday he was asking if I still wanted a Kindle, which I do of course but reminded him of what I said before. He said not buying me presents would go over like a fart in church.
So I guess that's why I was stuck. I did tell him I had already picked up a couple things and I was still going to do the stocking.

 

[Hannathy]

So he really knows you! He knew you would buy something and he would feel like a total heel if he didn't, based on his statement!(and evidently be upset) I would still just go with what you have already and his stocking. He is a guy and will have no problem with you sticking to the agreement.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Last weekend my husband and I flew up to NH to see our kids and celebrate Christmas with my side of the family (there was about 28 of us!). It was a great trip and we said we would do this in lieu of getting each other presents. Well....now I'm not liking that idea so much and I think my husband bought me the kindle I've been wanting, even though I said not too because I wanted him to go up north.
I asked him last night if he bought me any presents and he alluded to the fact that he did. Problem is I don't know on what scale.

I had already bought him 2 little things and I did tell him I was filling his stocking. So I'm thinking of heading out today to get him a couple gifts. I just don't know what though. I was thinking a new computer game or maybe one of those shoot em games for the Wii. But I just don't know how big to go or if I should at all. I don't want him getting upset that I bought him things after we agreed not to and I don't want to take the chance of not buying him anything either.

So how would you handle this??

Okay. We seem to be alike. Buy a shoot-'em up game for the Wii. You KNOW he bought you something and it is probably the Kindle.

Your husband seems to be just like mine. This is exactly what he would do. One yera, we set our limit at $100. Imagine my surprise when I opened a gift and saw some jewelry in there. He said, "But I always get your jewerly." (and he had this joyous happy look on his face, too!)

So what if you agreed on one thing and are doing the other. You both are and that's probably why you are married to each other.

Merry Christmas!

 

[Minnie]

Your comment - "you didn't get to go on the trip" if he says anything

I'd get him whatever you think we would enjoy and not worry about who spent what - life is way to short for that IMO

 

[powellrj]

I just asked DD if what I got DH was as good as what he got me, she said she thought I was OK. Is there anyone you can ask?

 

[FINFAN]

Get him this :

ditto!

 

[Minnie]

Shoot em game for the Wii - my dad loves these.... Call of Duty - Black Ops

 

[daisyduck123]

I'd buy something you know he will definitely use in the future. I would not get something, just for the sake of having a gift to give him, that he might not ever use.

So....I'd get my DH an Outback giftcard...and then we'd use it a few days later!