What to do need advice

[oliverthecat]

My name is steven I lived in New jersey all my life till December 2022. On November 18th a tragic house fire took the lives of my father mother and grandmother who I lived with. Which I resulted in me moving to Orlando Florida moving in with my sisters family we are sharing a 2 bedroom apartment with me sleeping on the couch bed in the living room. Yesterday me sister and I got our shares of my mom's life insurance. Which is a decent amount that I can afford rent and live ok . I just don't know if I want to find a apartment here or move back to New jersey any advise would help. Thanks steven

 

[kymom99]

I’m very sorry for your loss. First I would give yourself time to process what has happened. To help you make this huge life decision, I would make a list of pros and cons for each location. For example, being close to family, job opportunities, etc. you might even see a counselor to help you.

Best wishes as you navigate this difficult time.

 

[Traveling on cc points]

So sorry to hear about your huge loss.
Only you can decide where is best for you. I would ask myself where I would be happier.

What do have have in NJ that would make you want to go back?

Do you have a good support system there (good friends or family) a job to go back to?

Are you close to your sister that you have been staying with? With loosing so many family members, it might be nice to be close to her if you are.

I wish you the best of luck on whatever you decide to do.

 

[princesscinderella]

I’m so sorry for your tragic loss. I too would suggest not making any large purchase decisions right away while you are still in the grieving process. Orlando has a bunch of hotels with kitchen areas like town place suites where you may be able to negotiate a weekly rate to give you time to get out of your sisters place and on your own while you figure out what you want to pursue and where you would rather live. Best wishes to you whatever path you choose to take.

 

[Kitty 34]

No advice here but sending plenty of and positive thoughts your way.

 

[fly girl]

First, I’m sorry for your loss.

Second, no one but you can decide what is best. I’m sure it’s very difficult to weigh the pros and cons of it all. You’ve been through a lot in these last five months and no doubt you’re still grieving.

My best advice is to go with your gut. Is it telling you to so back to NJ or stay in FL? Do you have obligations back in NJ, such as a job? Or can you easily stay in FL? What about support systems in each place? Is going back going to be a healthy choice or do you need a fresh start?

Too many variables for us to tell you. But my biggest advice is what others said, don’t rush to make a decision. And if you are close with your sister, ask her what she thinks.

I wish you all the best.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Is this your only source of money? Do you have any other means to support yourself? Are you being made to feel unwelcome? What is your age range?

 

[Southernmiss]

I would talk to my sister.

Maybe with your money put together you could get a bigger place for all of you to have your own space.

 

[StageTek]

I just don't know if I want to find a apartment here or move back to New jersey any advise would help. Thanks steven

Find an apartment there. Don't move back to New Jersey.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

So sorry for what’s happened to you and your family.

It’s so hard to say what’s best for you without knowing more about you.

I think employment is a big part of this. But it seems like your sister is an integral part of your healing, so it makes sense to think about staying near her and her family if it works for you from an employment (or educational) standpoint.

Cost of living is very high in NJ. It’s also gone up in FL, as I understand it, but perhaps it’s still more affordable to live in FL? You’d have to do some research on cost of apartments, etc.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well. I think, if it were me, I’d stay put for a while and see what happens. Unless there was something drawing me back to NJ. I’d also consider whether it would be hard to be in that environment with the difficult memories of what happened. I do realize it’s hard to be far from “home”, but home can be family, too.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I recall your earlier posting about this tragedy, Steven, at the beginning of the year. I think I remember your saying you had friends, your job and family back in New Jersey. Is there family there still? How have you felt over the past 4 months or so in Florida? Are you working now in Florida? Could you go back to your job in New Jersey?

The suggestion for a week to week hotel, extended living type, as mentioned above, might be good advice for the next couple months Take time to sort things so you are comfortable in your decision. And know that nothing is final. You can always change your mind in the future. Take time to be comfortable. 's God bless you.

 

[JLTraveling]

I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine. Psychologists say not to make any big decisions for a year after a major tragedy. Since you've been in FL since it happened, I would stay put for at least the next six months or so, assuming you and your sister are still getting along. Try to find a place close to her, either an apartment or a weekly rental (or maybe even an AirBnB). Also try to find some kind of work. The goal should be to slowly heal and start to normalize as best you can. I would also consider either seeing a therapist or joining a grief counseling group. What you've been through is huge, and you'll need to work through it. After a year has passed, you should be in a much better position to reassess and decide how you want to move forward.

Just my thoughts. Best of luck whatever you decide.

 

[oliverthecat]

I recall your earlier posting about this tragedy, Steven, at the beginning of the year. I think I remember your saying you had friends, your job and family back in New Jersey. Is there family there still? How have you felt over the past 4 months or so in Florida? Are you working now in Florida? Could you go back to your job in New Jersey?

The suggestion for a week to week hotel, extended living type, as mentioned above, might be good advice for the next couple months Take time to sort things so you are comfortable in your decision. And know that nothing is final. You can always change your mind in the future. Take time to be comfortable. 's God bless you.

Hi Dan if I go back to New jersey I can get my old job back. My dad's cousins are in New jersey and family friends and my mom's cousins in New York and Pennsylvania. Not working in Florida yet because I'm not sure what to do take care

 

[DLgal]

How old are you? Are you capable of self support? How long will the money last? What did you do for work? Can you do that work in either location? Do you have a car? Do you have a college education?

Lots of variables to be able to provide any meaningful input on such a major decision.

I'd say use the money as follows:

1. Buy a car if you don't have one yet, so you can get to a job
2. Get a job in FL while you figure out your next steps. Any job for now.
3. Go to college or trade school if you haven't yet and/or are unsure what career you want to pursue.
4. Rent. In either place, find a small apartment, preferably close to work to cut down on commuting costs.
5. Open a high yield savings account (Ally.com is a good bank) and put the money there. Do NOT invest it right now. Markets are very unstable and you may lose a large portion of it.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Hi Dan if I go back to New jersey (1) I can get my old job back. (2) My dad's cousins are in New jersey and (3) family friends and my mom's cousins in New York and Pennsylvania. (4) Not working in Florida yet because I'm not sure what to do take care

Good morning, Steven. The four items you listed are pretty compelling reasons to return home to New Jersey. Weigh the advantages of staying in Florida vs. returning home to NJ. In any case, I think it probably good to stay nearby your sister for maybe a short time longer. Keep in mind, I'm just giving you my non-professional thoughts here. I am not a trained advice counselor.

 

[flyingdumbo127]

Just an extra Steven with healing prayers of peace to you and your family. Thinking of you.