What Time For Bed

[golfgal]

So now that school has started, my daughter has had to reevaluate the bedtime of her 12 year old daughter (our granddaughter). She has so much homework (mainly math). She gets home from school at 4:00 and immediately goes to work on it. She stops for dinner, but is typically not finished until sometime between 10 and 11 o'clock pm. Yesterday, we saw our son-in-law at the Labor Day Festival with our 10 year old granddaughter -- the 12 year old was at home -- still working on homework that needed to be turned in today.

My daughter went to Back to School night and was told "get used to it" 7th Grade is going to be like this. My daughter told the teacher that, if her daughter got tired and wanted to go to bed before finishing, she was going to let her. However, the homework is 20% of her grade.

I agree with MoniqueQ, this is NOT right. Either your granddaughter is having issues doing the homework or the school is NUTS. Our high schoolers-AP classes and all--don't have this much homework. How many math problems is she assigned each day? Does she use her class time wisely? Does she do her homework in front of the TV or with her phone texting?

 

[pixie dust 112]

I agree with MoniqueQ, this is NOT right. Either your granddaughter is having issues doing the homework or the school is NUTS. Our high schoolers-AP classes and all--don't have this much homework. How many math problems is she assigned each day? Does she use her class time wisely? Does she do her homework in front of the TV or with her phone texting?

I agree that is crazy! My kids never have had homework like that. One of my daughters takes more time with her homework, because it is tougher for her thasn the others, but never has it taken that long.

 

[PollyannaMom]

So now that school has started, my daughter has had to reevaluate the bedtime of her 12 year old daughter (our granddaughter). She has so much homework (mainly math). She gets home from school at 4:00 and immediately goes to work on it. She stops for dinner, but is typically not finished until sometime between 10 and 11 o'clock pm. Yesterday, we saw our son-in-law at the Labor Day Festival with our 10 year old granddaughter -- the 12 year old was at home -- still working on homework that needed to be turned in today.

My daughter went to Back to School night and was told "get used to it" 7th Grade is going to be like this. My daughter told the teacher that, if her daughter got tired and wanted to go to bed before finishing, she was going to let her. However, the homework is 20% of her grade.

Have your daughter check the school handbook. Ours says grades 6-8 should expect 4-9 hours of homework in a whole week! The 5+ hours in one day (assuming a 1 hour dinner break) that you described in your post sounds really excessive to me.

 

[DeniseinNS]

My almost 9 year old is in bed at 7:30 on most school nights, unless she has a later activity going on. I let her stay up until around 10 on weekends.

 

[luvmy3]

My dses (2nd & 5th grade) go to bed at 9:00 and have to be up at 6:45. My dd (7th) goes to bed at 10:00 and has to get up at 6:30. I would love for my dd to go to bed earlier, but she just can't fall asleep.

 

[cathyce2]

My 6th grader goes to bed at 9:00 but doesn't have to get up for school until 7:45 am. Last year in 5th grade she had to be up at 6:45 and went to bed at 8:30. Occasionally she will be up a little later if she has soccer practice and alot of homework.

 

[JLTraveling]

What no other?!

My kids go to bed when they are ready for bed. Sometimes it is early, sometimes it is later. It all depended on what is going on that evening.

My 13yodd is on the living floor right now at doing her leg exercises and then she still has to shower. She probably will be in bed by 11PM tonight hopefully.

She took a nap and caught some sleep after school though.

I just can't do a set bedtime, it would never work at my house. Sometimes we are eating dinner at 8pm.

She has to catch the bus at 6:30am so she is up at 5:30am.

I think my college dd goes to bed at 3am.

Why would anyone force their kid to go bed before he/she is ready? I don't have kids, but I was raised in a very flexible household. I did a lot of community theatre, and rehearsals generally lasted until 9 or 10, much later on tech weekend. We went out at night to movies, concerts, festivals, Broadway touring shows...didn't get home till 10 or 11 those nights. I got very adept at doing my homework wherever I was, napping on the weekends if needed and adapting to whatever the day's schedule might be. I was three years ahead in school, made it through a nationally-known college prep high school, and never had a bit of trouble. Kids sleep when they're tired

 

[smb6]

My elementary aged kids (4,8,and 9) go to bed at 7:45pm. My middle school aged kids (11 and 13) go to bed at 8:15pm. My dd will be 10 in a few months and she will continue to go to bed at 7:45pm until she starts middle school. We are the early to bed, early to rise type. I don't think bed time is a "one fits all" thing- there is not always a right or wrong. My kids wake up between 6 and 6:30am- so they get about 9-10 hours sleep each night- I have zero problems waking them up in the mornings and two of them are always awake before the 6am alarm goes off. That is the key- if your son can go to bed at 10pm and wake up easily and well rested- fine. In general, I think 10pm sounds especially late for elementary school- but again, what works for one, doesn't work for everyone. As an aside- my kids are allowed to read quietly in their beds if they choose- but no getting up or doing anything else. My younger two fall right to sleep, but the three older ones almost always read for a while before going to sleep....

 

[kristilew]

Wow, I cannot imagine a 13 year old in bed at 8:00.

That might be your time, but at 13, they should be able to entertain themselves in their own space and not interrupt your time.

I should have clarified that this is the time she has worked out to go to bed, because she needs her sleep. She does entertain herself in her own space on nights she stays up later, on weekends or in the summer. But she recognizes that the world is a lot brighter place when she is well-rested, and I appreciate her taking responsibility for her outlook by getting enough sleep. DH and I do enjoy the time we get, but are also happy to be with her when she's up. I also am pleased that when DD knows she will be up later one night, she chooses to "bank sleep" by going to bed earlier a few nights before.

If she gets to bed and can't sleep, she can always read, but really it doesn't take her long to fall asleep. And she's an absolute joy to be around during all of her waking hours. fwiw, I believe most teens are not getting enough sleep, and that a lot of what people think of as "teen attitude" is a lack of self control due to being overtired.

But that's just MHO, YMMV

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

I didn't vote, and didn't look at the votes yet, decided to post my thoughts first and see where we stand after. We start school tomorrow. I have had the kids going to bed about 9 for a few days. Tonight they were in bed at 8. We will do 8 for the rest of the week till we decide what they need. DD15 is a total night owl, but needs to be up by 5:45 so she needs to force herself to sleep. It is hard for her. DD11 needs to be up at 6:15 and likes her sleep. She is not a night owl and was first to fall asleep tonight. She was sad to miss Wipeout, but knew she needed her sleep. DD8 can sleep till 7:15 but shares a bedroom with DD11 so we need to make a bedtime that works for them both. So, for the rest of this week they all go to bed at 8 and then we will adjust based on who needs what. I suspect DD15 will be going to bed at about 11, DD11 will be about 8:30 and DD8 will be more like 9, but we will see, basically whatever they need is about when they head to bed, but it varies by kid for sure.

So, it kind of is trial and error, but I'd start with earlier and adjust to later then the opposite.

 

[mickeyboat]

DDs are 10 & 11 and in 5th grade. They have to be up at 7:00 and they go to bed at 9:00. Last year bedtime was 8:00.

 

[disney1990]

I agree with MoniqueQ, this is NOT right. Either your granddaughter is having issues doing the homework or the school is NUTS. Our high schoolers-AP classes and all--don't have this much homework. How many math problems is she assigned each day? Does she use her class time wisely? Does she do her homework in front of the TV or with her phone texting?

My daughter felt the same way and went to Back to School Night to "discuss" it. The math teacher (who runs the math program for 7th and 8th graders) had the parents of the eighth graders stand up. She asked them how much homework their children had in 7th grade and they said that their children didn't have a life in 7th grade -- that every night was nothing but homework. They said that their children had to give up all their extra activities, because they did not have time for them. My daughter talked to other 7th grade parents and they agreed that their children are working on homework until 10 or 11 at night -- every night. No, it is not just my granddaughter. My daughter gave up her argument and resigned to this being a very stressful year (my daughter is in her last semester of nursing). And my grandchildren are at a school with extended school hours. They catch the bus at 7:30 am and don't get home until 4:30 pm.

 

[Buckeye Princess]

Growing up I never had a bed time because I've never needed much sleep. By middle school I was going to bed at midnight or 1. I was never tired the next day and got good grades.I usually stayed up reading or doing school work. (I was a nerd.) Now I sleep about 6 hours a night but through most of grade school through high school I slept about 5 and in college about 3.

 

[marcyinPA]

I have a 6th grader and a 10th grader...

My 6th grader is in bed around 9pm. He gets up on band days at 6:45 am and non-band days at 7 am.

The 10th grader generally goes to bed, on his own, around 9:30. I've never given him a specific bed time since he started H.S. , but the kid is always tired and likes to sleep! He gets up on band days at 5:45 am and non-band days at 6:15 a.m.