What Time For Bed

[Minnie J]

My kids are in the 3rd and Kindergarten. I make them go to bed at 8:30 because sometimes they like to talk in the dark and dont actually fall asleep until 9

 

[kristilew]

DH & I disagree what time our DS (10) 5th. grade should go to be. I feel that 9:30 is a good time, he feels that 10:00 is fine. So what time do your 10/11 year old children in 5th. grade go to bed.

He also has to be up at 6:30 in the morning -

OP, I wanted to add that if you want some science to bolster your argument, the book NurtureShock has a chapter on the importance of sleep in relation to both school performance and tween/teen attitude. They break results down into differences resulting from every 15 minutes of sleep lost or gained. It was quite an eye-opener, no pun intended!

 

[Rora]

I'm a 3rd grade teacher. I just polled my own students to find out what time they go to bed. Their answers suprised me!! Most of them said past 10pm! Heck, I can't even stay awake past 10pm!!

As a teacher I see how tired some of my kids are. I tell my students it's best for them to be in bed around 8:30-9.

 

[mjkacmom]

Ds12 goes to bed at 9, dd9 goes at 8:30. Dd14 has no bedtime, but she is usually in bed by 9. My kids leave for school at 8:30, and usually wake up around 7:30.

 

[zachnsamsmommy]

I would tend to agree with the PPs who said it depends on the child. I will add that it also depends on what time they have to get up and the length of the school day.

My DS is 9 and in 4th grade. He goes to bed between 9 and 9:30. BUT...he has to be ON the bus at 6:45 in the morning. We are trying 9:30 some this year, but if he is unusually cranky or not cooperative that day, it goes back to 9:00.

 

[pyrxtc]

Wow. At almost 13, my DD is still in bed by 8 or 8:30 most school nights. 7:30 if either she or I has had a tough day! I can't imagine dealing with a kid up until 10. That's my time with DH!

yes, bedtime is a nice retreat. My kids all get sent to bed at 8:30 -- 6, 9, and 13. The younger ones were sent at 8 but then they fooled around til 9, now they fall pretty straight asleep and i don't have to yell upstairs so much to be quiet.

 

[golfgal]

If he goes to bed at 10:00 and can get HIMSELF up and ready in the morning without whining, I say let him do that, if not, the bedtime gets pushed back.

 

[Magpie]

My 12 and 14yo get sent to bed at 9 on school nights, 10 on the weekend/summer. They're allowed to read in bed for a bit if they're not tired, and if they don't abuse the privilege (ie, reading to midnight).

Even with this, I still have to wake my son up at 9am every day. School's going to be a tough adjustment!

 

[GJM]

Thank you for the response!

If I gave him an option of going to bed when he was tired - he would never go to bed, he loves to stay up. He has just started sleeping late on the weekends until 10 - when he was younger on the weekends he would be up and going at 6, I always said as he gets older I will not wake him on the weekends.

He doesn't get up by himself, he won't even hear an alarm go off, I have to wake him up.

 

[shortbun]

it depends on the kid and how fast he/she falls asleep. I've never pushed my child to get to bed early because I know he'd just lay there. He goes to bed when he's tired. He's 15 now and heads to his room around 9pm but isn't asleep until 11ish. Why not compromise and send him to bed at 9:30 with lights out at 10?

 

[golfgal]

Thank you for the response!

If I gave him an option of going to bed when he was tired - he would never go to bed, he loves to stay up. He has just started sleeping late on the weekends until 10 - when he was younger on the weekends he would be up and going at 6, I always said as he gets older I will not wake him on the weekends.

He doesn't get up by himself, he won't even hear an alarm go off, I have to wake him up.

There is your ammo then-let him stay up until 10:00 but the first time you have to wake him up because he misses his alarm, the bedtime goes to 9:00-which, from what it sounds like, he needs anyway. You kill two birds with one stone this way, you let him have a choice in the matter but then you put the responsibility on HIM to make sure it works.

 

[mom2d&b]

This poll is great. My 3rd and 5th grade kids think I am the mean mom cuz I make them go upstairs at 9pm. They can watch Tv in their rooms, read, or play quietly till they fall asleep. They are usually sleeping between 10 - 10:30. When I was their age I had to be in bed by 8:30pm.

 

[Ohiodislover]

Depends what time they have to get up in the am. Last year my 5th grader went to bed at 10 pm, and up at 7:15.

 

[indimom]

My son is 10 and in 5th grade. His bed time is 9 p.m. He usually gets up between 6 and 6:30 p.m. I would consider 9:30, but not any later.

 

[disney1990]

Wow. At almost 13, my DD is still in bed by 8 or 8:30 most school nights. 7:30 if either she or I has had a tough day! I can't imagine dealing with a kid up until 10. That's my time with DH!

Wow, I cannot imagine a 13 year old in bed at 8:00.

That might be your time, but at 13, they should be able to entertain themselves in their own space and not interrupt your time.

 

[traviesojmt]

My DS (8th grade) goes to bed at 9:30 pm and my DD (2nd grade) goes to bed at 8:00 pm. I wake them for school at 6:30 am. If either of them started waking on their own early, I would adjust their bed time accordingly. I am usually ready for bed by 10:00 most nights.

 

[disney1990]

So now that school has started, my daughter has had to reevaluate the bedtime of her 12 year old daughter (our granddaughter). She has so much homework (mainly math). She gets home from school at 4:00 and immediately goes to work on it. She stops for dinner, but is typically not finished until sometime between 10 and 11 o'clock pm. Yesterday, we saw our son-in-law at the Labor Day Festival with our 10 year old granddaughter -- the 12 year old was at home -- still working on homework that needed to be turned in today.

My daughter went to Back to School night and was told "get used to it" 7th Grade is going to be like this. My daughter told the teacher that, if her daughter got tired and wanted to go to bed before finishing, she was going to let her. However, the homework is 20% of her grade.

 

[DisneyFan32WI]

My DD 12 (7th grade) must be in bed by 9:00. Last year it was 8:30 sharp.

I am considering moving it back to 8:30. She gets up by 6:45 and seems to be extremely tired in the morning.

 

[MoniqueU]

I don't really mind what time they go to sleep I just always sent them to bed at 9 whether they were 2 or 12. That is when I was all done for the day and wanted time to myself. Now they are 12, 13 and 17 and don't cause much of a racket their official time now is 10 but if they are annoying me they go to their rooms earlier. I have no clue what time they go to sleep and I have bad insomnia and so does my youngest so I don't make them all sit in the dark. And people that send their little kids to bed at like 7 30 or something?? Whoa what is up with tthat? That is way to early, heck it is still ight out half the year here and I don't want up at 4 am. My kids never needed 14 hours of sleep and a nap too. I must not be doing it right according to some. One of my neighbors kids still took naps at age 5. All mine quit about age 2 except for occasionally. I remember going to one aunts house and she put me down for a nap then came and yelled at us for talking and not sleeping. I must of been about 5 then too. Totally different expectations I guess.

 

[MoniqueU]

So now that school has started, my daughter has had to reevaluate the bedtime of her 12 year old daughter (our granddaughter). She has so much homework (mainly math). She gets home from school at 4:00 and immediately goes to work on it. She stops for dinner, but is typically not finished until sometime between 10 and 11 o'clock pm. Yesterday, we saw our son-in-law at the Labor Day Festival with our 10 year old granddaughter -- the 12 year old was at home -- still working on homework that needed to be turned in today.

My daughter went to Back to School night and was told "get used to it" 7th Grade is going to be like this. My daughter told the teacher that, if her daughter got tired and wanted to go to bed before finishing, she was going to let her. However, the homework is 20% of her grade.

Ok I am not a teacher but myt MIL is and so are alot of friends and family That is a load of crap to have that much work. My son goes to a private college prep class and has been in honors and never had that much. My oldest DD skipped a year of math, is in all honors and as far as I know never missed one assignment her entire school carreer sick or not. My youngest DD is also high honors and does all her work and aces tests. Only one year my sons first month of 1st grade die we ever have homework issues. It was write a paragraph, circle the now, underline the verb and put a triangle around an adjective. This was 4 weeks into first grade. My son was at the top of his K class and just getting him to write what I considered to be a full paragraphe on his own and doing the rest took about an hour and a half. I had my MIL check the assignment with the teachers at he blue ribbon distinguished school. They all said oh hell no. I bypassed the teacherf and went to the VP and said there is no way this teacher wants to give kids assignments this long and this hard, you are putting too much pressure on them and it is not appropriate. I never had an issue with the teacher at all it comes from above most of the time. Unless your child needs a tutor there is now way a child should be doing that much homework and I would go to the administration. And especially over labor day weekend. My lord. My MIL would throw a fit if she read this. I have heard some other parts of the country are like this but lord someone has to put a stop to these naniacs. Forget complaining about where your bus picks you up or what a teacher says your kid can eat at school. This is something worht a chat about. My oldest two are in sports and often aren't even home to 7 or 8 and they still get their work done and projects even in honors.