What is wrong with parents?

[cmassey]

the answer is that most people are idiots. this is only the manifestation we are discussing right now...there are many others. they think unwritten rules of social order do not apply to them. of course i don't "own" the piece of sidewalk i'm on; but, you and your kids sure as he** aren't going to be sitting here for the next hour-plus. perhaps i am ugly. we are very friendly with the people sitting around us waiting; but, if you try to encroach on my personal space - i am implacable. sorry. i play alot of basketball and am highly skilled at boxing out. i liken my parade-time blanket to the lane, and you are not getting in. if i'm in a very good mood, i may make an exception for your kid.

 

[willis37862]

f I just don't know what is wrong with some people.

Well in my opinion some are nitwits with their heads ...somewhere they can't see so well ...we have had several bad parade experiences because of pushy rude parents.

 

[Samantha/NC]

We went in July, and did not have any problem with our spot for spectromagic. We did not get there real early--maybe 30 minutes before hand, all of our kids (6) together got a seat on a curb and we stood behind them with no problems. The parade watching was a fear of mine--b/c I kinda tell it like it is and I did not want to have to go off on somebody on mainstreet of Disney!!!

 

[willis37862]

Regarding all these parade issues, I can tell you that the problems with parades are primarily caused by WDW.

The underlying problem is that the parade designs that they use are for the most part unsuitable for the viewing environment. Any good float designer can tell you that WDW's floats are almost universally too low to the ground, given the average depth of the crowd, the fact that there are almost no high vantage points from which to watch, and very limited setback distances from the route. The floats should be designed so that the lowest of the decorated surfaces is a minimum of 3 feet off the ground -- 5 would be better. The idea being to get the bulk of the decoration and the riders above the head of the average standing adult. The fact that so much of the action takes place at ground level encourages spectators to jockey for curb position and to watch while seated on the ground; both of these behaviours are bad things from a crowd management perspective.

When crowd density is as high as it is at WDW, no spectators other than the disabled should be permitted to view the parade from a seated position. When everyone has to stand (yes, I'm including children, who either stand or are held by adults), no one will be standing in front of the seated. Strollers should be BANNED for a distance of 10-15 ft. back from the route. Having strollers in amongst the crowd is a serious evacuation hazard, especially after dark. (While I've never heard of it happening during a WDW parade, floats have been known to overheat and catch fire, especially those with enclosed engines. Float decoration components tend to give off noxious fumes if they catch fire.) What that means is that just as when you go on a ride, you take the child and the valuables out and you park the stroller in a designated storage area. It also means that the number of people who will stake out a prime spot hours in advance will be greatly reduced if they are not allowed to sit on a public thoroughfare while waiting.

I agree with a lot of what you are saying...makes sense. Especially about making the floats taller. The only problem is when tall people like me stand others get mad because it is suddenly my fault they are shorter than me I still stand but I get rude remarks like I can do anything about my height...and I always stake out my spot very early and stand the whole time so people know I am tall.

 

[minijeanie]

I also don't wait for parades anymore. Last time I did DD was 12 and DS 11
Because they are not young kids and because I taught them manners by the time the parade started they had allowed 6 smaller kids to stand in front of them which almost made them 3 deep back.

Now I know the younger kids need to see but heck if my family waited the hour before hand why are they not the same deserving to be upfront.

From that time on, if we catch a parade and it is convenient we watch it, if not we go on space mountain or splash mountain.

 

[#1 Pocahontas]

To the OP, that's to bad that that happened. I can totally understand not saying anything to the parent. I also understand why you should say something. However, I have noticed that many parents go psycho on you for saying anything remotely negative to them or their child. Yes, even something as simple as "Excuse me, this seat is taken." And if a parent has the nerve to encourage their child to sit on someone else's blanket I can't even imagine the nerve they would take with you if you had said anything. That's not the kind of scene you want at Disney while waiting for a parade.

We have had our fair share of rude people at parades. One lady actually stood over my husband. Her "middle area" was just inches above his head. He did say something to her but she was way to excited and time and time again would end up in that position.

This past trip, early December, were actually very pleasant experiences at the parades. I get our seats very early for a parade and this trip we watched 4 parades with no problems.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

We don't usually stake out parade spots more than a few minutes before a parade. If there aren't any prime spots left, we just stand in the back and see what we can see or bypass the parade completely. It's just not worth the frustration for us. We don't try to send our kids up front or strong arm people out of their spaces. If someone offers to let the 8 year old sit in front, he will but only if someone offers.

We saw some pretty incredible stuff last week. On Saturday night, we were in line for Test Track. There was a family about 20 people behind us with 3 young boys. They were letting the boys "walk" along the railing and go way ahead of them, passing people and bumping them along the way. They had their feet on the lower part of the railing and were moving their hands along the top. I was smacked and kicked a few times as they passed by. Most people were getting out of their way and letting them go by. They would stop and wait for their family and then repeat the process of passing by us again. I finally got fed up and leaned against the railing and ignored them when they tried to pass by. Their parents didn't seem to care that they were A) Walking on the railing, B) Basically cutting the line by going way ahead of their place and C) Annoying the crud out of other people. One kid said excuse me but I ignored him and they finally got the message. Then after the briefing room and before we boarded the cars, there's a railing with a 10 foot drop behind it that looks like it leads down into a maintenance area. One of the kids was sitting on the railing and would have fallen backward a long way if he lost his balance. His father was standing right there next to him but didn't seem to notice. I remarked rather loudly to my husband, "That doesn't look safe." My husband said, "No, it doesn't look safe at all." The father glanced at us but still didn't tell his son to get down. I just turned around and said, "Well, when he falls and cracks his head at least I won't have to see it." The father still seemed either uninterested or unconcerned. Whatever!

At the Orlando Airport, we were waiting for our bags. They have those long, winding carousels that curve around a few times. A kid was sitting on the edge of the carousel and letting the bags bump him as they passed by. Several bags were stacking up behind him because his sitting there was slowing them down. His mom and grandma didn't seem to care. My son asked if he could sit there and I said, "No, it's not safe to sit there and it's against the rules. " The kid still didn't care. Then he started throwing a little plastic candy container down the belt and waiting for it to come back to him before throwing it again. It was just small enough that it could have slipped under the side of the belt and jammed up the whole carousel. Mom and grandma still didn't care. I'd finally had it. We'd been on 2 planes and flown all the way from California and our luggage was taking forever and here's this little undisciplined jerk who's about to jam up the carousel. So I said, Knock it off! If that gets stuck in the belt then no one will get their luggage and it's not fair!" He was shocked like no one had ever told him to stop before. He jumped up and went and stood by his mom who was still chatting with grandma and clueless as ever. When people let their kids do things that are rude, it shows that they're rude too. But when it comes to kids doing things that are downright unsafe, I just don't get it!

 

[Hixski]

you have my sympathies. I did not read all the posts in this thread but I skimmed thru and let me tell you we were there in dec 2004 watching the 3pm parade, and we werent in the first row but bacl by Casey's, at MK and our then 10 month old was in his stroller watching/napping and along comes a girl the size of my then 7 year old DS and climbs into and stands on my 10month old DS to see the parade! Her mother had the nerve to tell me she wasnt hurting anyone while my DS is screaming and tells me to shut my brat up that he is a hypocondriate(sp). So yeah, what is it with some parents besides they have their heads up their butts!

This one really got me. I hope you picked that child up off your child and plunked him down. Or screamed for security. That woman wins the idiot mother of the day award.

 

[dolphindan1]

you have my sympathies. I did not read all the posts in this thread but I skimmed thru and let me tell you we were there in dec 2004 watching the 3pm parade, and we werent in the first row but bacl by Casey's, at MK and our then 10 month old was in his stroller watching/napping and along comes a girl the size of my then 7 year old DS and climbs into and stands on my 10month old DS to see the parade! Her mother had the nerve to tell me she wasnt hurting anyone while my DS is screaming and tells me to shut my brat up that he is a hypocondriate(sp). So yeah, what is it with some parents besides they have their heads up their butts!

this would have caused a big scene...you dont hurt my child...even if its your child doing it....I have no problem whatsoever with someone disciplining my children...even to the point of grabbing them and telling them no...but at no point do you hurt them...I teach respect and courtesy to my kids but its a fine line to being a pushover so they also need to be taught to stand up for themselves....My oldest is a bit shy and will not sy much....my youngest will kick you in the back of the leg and say excuse me could you move...LOL....My wife well it has taken me over 11 years to get her to speak up and boy does she...LOL....if you let people walk all over you they will...it takes a little tack to deal with some people and some people need it right in there face....but manners start witht he parents you can never blame the kids for well being kids...if they are not taught better they will not act better....Anyway climbing off my soapbox now...I have seen some strange things at Disney too...I chalk it up to the amount of money people spend at Disney...i notice I am a little more dominant while at Disney...I have the mindset of wanting to get all my moneys worth it wasnt till my 4th trip that I realized that by attacking the parks I was losing everything that made it special and worth the ticket prices...now I just let the park guide me....I think this is alot of peoples problems at Disney...just my 2 cents...the rudest people in the world are at our local super wal-mart...stop in the middle of the aisle to talk and buggies all in the way and get pissy when you say excuse me....

 

[dwaters]

Once we had a couple with their kid play the "I don't understand English game" even though we had heard them speaking clear English with a New England accent only thirty seconds before. They then put on a thick (and actually very fake sounding) Asian accent. I called them on it and they switched to "this is our first time here so please let us sit in front of you." I don't know why they thought they could get away with language barrier game when they had been standing behind us for fifteen minutes.

So sad yet so hilarious.
"Let's fool these people with Asian accents. They'll NEVER figure it out, despite the fact that we've been standing here chatting in our regular voices for FIFTEEN minutes."

I've seen the parades.
Nice but not at all worth the aggravation described in these posts.
The time would be better spent on rides, IMO.

 

[dbk1029]

I am not a parent. When I become a parent I plan on teaching my child respect & responsibility and the difference between right & wrong. I know when I was a child if I waas doing something rude/unsafe/misbehaving and it wasn't my mom that caught me doing it I would get told about it twice (once from the person that caught me and then from my mom when she was told by the person that caught me! My mom always kept an eye on me but kids have a way of just getting into things don' they?

I think society is partly to blame for the way kids are today. Some parents are afraid to discipline their children (I am speaking of physically discipline here). When I was a kid if I did some wrong I got spanked. Usually that was enough to make me not do whatever caused the spanking again. I was never beaten but I was physically disciplined and there is a difference. I feel it is okay to spank a child (it worked on me) but I don't condone beating a child.

Then there seem to be those parents that can't be bothered to be a parent. I don't know why those types of people have children bu they do. It amazes me that you need a license to drive a car but anybody can have a child. I sometimes think that prospective parents should have to undego the same trials that people trying to adopt do. Maybe that way we would have more involved parents?

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Honestly? What is wrong with parents is that some of them are too dang nice, and allow other people to do what that family did to yours.

No way, no how would that happen to me. I would not be rude to the child, but I would have politely let the mother know it was our blanket, and made her remove her offspring from my child's space! If she did not, I would have found a CM to make her do it. People can smell pushovers a mile away, I'm afraid, and the previous posters who stated that people rely on the kindness (or guilt feelings) of others were 100% correct. I am definitely not one. As a result, I find that I very, very rarely suffer the kind of problem you described. People try it less often (perhaps I give off an air? LOL), and never succeed when they do attempt it. I'd rather my son learn to stand his ground than be kind to pushy, rude, selfish folks who think they are owed every courtesy simply because they demand it!

That said, if it were not a huge imposition, and a nearby family had a small child who could not see the parade, I may very well OFFER to share our blanket or step aside a bit. But the sense of entitlement really ticks me off and I'd make it a point NOT to be accommodating to those who overstep the limits of civility just to get what they want!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I think society is partly to blame for the way kids are today. Some parents are afraid to discipline their children (I am speaking of physically discipline here). When I was a kid if I did some wrong I got spanked. Usually that was enough to make me not do whatever caused the spanking again. I was never beaten but I was physically disciplined and there is a difference. I feel it is okay to spank a child (it worked on me) but I don't condone beating a child.

A bit of very serious advice here.

Firstly, you seem like you will be an excellent parent, based on your expressed desire to ensure that your child understands right from wrong and learns to behave properly and respect him/herself and others. I applaud those goals and find it refreshing to "meet" someone who has thought about such things in advance.

As for the physical discipline issue, may I suggest that you do some research on the actual effects of spanking, before you do become a parent? Perhaps it "worked on you"...but the fact is that spanking is detrimental in many, many ways.

My son is being raised to be conscientious, respectful, polite, considerate, etc., but will never be struck by me nor by his father. Some people CHOOSE to hit their children, but it is never NECESSARY to strike a child in order to discipline that child. In fact, the effect is usually the opposite of what is intended by the parent, in the long run. Especially in today's society, where violence is shown in the media to be the answer to everything, and no big deal...I would never teach my child by example that hitting solves problems! I could no more imagine spanking him than I could imagine walking up to you and punching you in the mouth. It really is the same thing, at its core.

I am not bashing people who spank. I just wanted to give you some food for thought, because you seem like a very thoughtful individual who would like to be the best parent possible, in future.

 

[themudd4]

When you were 'moved to the front' - did you end up blocking the view of the people that were already there? I'd be rather upset if people were plunked down on top of us if we were watching the parade, even if it was Snow White doing the plunking...

It was a small section the CM's had tried to keep clear...but yes there were people behind us...but that was part of the parade.
In different sections of the parade route they did different things (as the parade stopped) Several children were brought out on main street...

 

[MikeAidanEoinMom]

you have my sympathies. I did not read all the posts in this thread but I skimmed thru and let me tell you we were there in dec 2004 watching the 3pm parade, and we werent in the first row but bacl by Casey's, at MK and our then 10 month old was in his stroller watching/napping and along comes a girl the size of my then 7 year old DS and climbs into and stands on my 10month old DS to see the parade! Her mother had the nerve to tell me she wasnt hurting anyone while my DS is screaming and tells me to shut my brat up that he is a hypocondriate(sp). So yeah, what is it with some parents besides they have their heads up their butts!

OMG!!!!! What nerve.

 

[dbk1029]

Okay when I say I was spanked I mean right there at the moment of the infraction. A quick kapow (not too forceful but a stinging) on the backside to let me know what I had done was wrong. I'll take your advice into consideration as well.

I do have a question. What is it that has changed in the past 10-20 years that has contributed to rude children and bad parenting? I am 31 years old. I consider myself to be a respectful well adjusted adult. My mother is the 99.9% main influence for that. She wasn't too strict when it came to discipline and punishment but she did make sure I was punished when I was misbehaving. You know waaaay back when "GO TO YOUR ROOM" was actual punishment? Not like now when most kids have phones, TV's, DVD players, PS2, and a host of other electronic gadgets in their room.

 

[amwhitaker]

What is it that has changed in the past 10-20 years that has contributed to rude children and bad parenting? I am 31 years old. I consider myself to be a respectful well adjusted adult. My mother is the 99.9% main influence for that. She wasn't too strict when it came to discipline and punishment but she did make sure I was punished when I was misbehaving. You know waaaay back when "GO TO YOUR ROOM" was actual punishment? Not like now when most kids have phones, TV's, DVD players, PS2, and a host of other electronic gadgets in their room.

Amen!! I believe I am a very well adjusted adult. I don't have anger issues or any mental issues. I was spanked when I needed it and greatly loved the rest of the time. If you look at the generation of kids over the past few years there is something very wrong. The high incidents of school shootings by students and drug addicted young people will tell you that something is drastically wrong with the way young people are being raised, that is unless you have your head in the sand. The pressures of this world is having a great impact on alot of parents, who just don't seem to have the time or energy to raise their children like us middle aged adults were raised.

I was recently slapped, with all his might, in the face by a 5 year old that I had leaned down to talk to and the mother just sing-songed a "now that wasn't nice", while my lip swelled and tears came to my eyes! If that is all the punishment some parents can give, what is going to be this childs view of authority at a later age? It's very scary! These children learn from a very early age that they can do whatever they want to without any repercussions. It's what they do when they become teenagers that scares the crap out of me!!

 

[hsmamato2]

Associates degree in ancient languages needed to understand what follows:
In other words other adults need to act in loco parentis towards these unmannered kids.

nah... no degree needed to understand them words.... parenting is a skill,and an art,if done well. But too many today choose not to parent,or choose to teach the child that they're #1-at the cost of others. Which means those of us who refuse to be abused at these *&^$% peoples expense, have to speak up,and stand our ground when abuse occurs.
Punk behavior is taught by example. And if anyone thinks I'm going to sacrifice my kids view for their pushy selves,well,I'm one of those who doesn't let it happen. Stading ground politely but firmly is also an art.

 

[hsmamato2]

I do have a question. What is it that has changed in the past 10-20 years that has contributed to rude children and bad parenting? She wasn't too strict when it came to discipline and punishment but she did make sure I was punished when I was misbehaving. You know waaaay back when "GO TO YOUR ROOM" was actual punishment?

hmmm.... did someone mention "in loco parentis"? I know this isn't a thread debating spanking or not..... but the reality is,many kids are 100% worse behaved than the previous generation. Many parents, having been fed the line that all spanking is detrimental,are actually afraid to employ simple,non harsh,yet quick and effective forms of discipline. Which results in hideous brats. Now...to be fair, many parents who never spank also teach their families respect for self and others,and have no issues.
And many of these...people..that I've seen display such terrible manners in WDW seem to lack even basic parenting skills, swatting,yelling and hitting their kids with abandon,and showing the same lack of regard for strangers when parade time comes around and they push other adults around too.
So good parenting comes in many styles....but teaching kids rudeness and demanding behavior isn't in the category of good parenting.
BTW, when we want to see a parade,we usually seek out the most out of the way spot to view it,and most people don't even realize it's there!

 

[mouseketeer_mom]

You know, reading this thread made me realize how lucky I am. My three children are all in school. I have never had a teacher tell me that my child was the smartest kid in class. I've never heard that my child was the hardest working, neatest writer, cutest, best dressed, best speller or a wiz at the multiplication table. But, I've heard, of all three of my children, since the school year started, that they are some of the most polite and well mannered children in their respective classes. Talk about one proud Mama!

I am a firm believer that children learn what they live. That said, here is my oath for our upcoming WDW trip: I will be polite and courteous to EVERY person I speak to. I will be compassionate and sharing at every opportunity. If the need arises, I will be politely assertive. Amen.