What is the thought process here?

[Carly_Roach]

I don't think its my job to be the etiquette police.

Bingo.

If this was Country Club ettiquette, then it's up to the Country Club to exercise its own rules.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I am a MAJOR jean wearing person.
However, i DO own nice slacks and dressy pant suits to wear to weddings and funerals and other dressier occasions.

there is NO excuse why your relatives dont do likewise.

Reality check: The whole world doesn't revolve around what you would do, nor does it take its cues from what you think is appropriate or inappropriate. It's a big ole world out there and not everyone behaves the way someone from one small region of the country would behave. (thank goodness)

 

[LaraK]

I am a MAJOR jean wearing person.
However, i DO own nice slacks and dressy pant suits to wear to weddings and funerals and other dressier occasions.

there is NO excuse why your relatives dont do likewise.

Hmmmm......my unemployed uncle who lived in the projects at the time and was expecting his third child the week after my wedding should, instead of feeding his family, go and buy clothing just to please me....I don't think so. We would have bought his family clothes (and I did, in fact, buy his daughters dresses to be my "helpers" in the wedding) but it would have insulted his pride to offer it to him. Even people going through tough times have a right to pride.

I could care less if he wore jeans. I was glad he came.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Your college roommate's Dad is the GM at Augusta?? Can you see if she can get on to play a round there???? I promise I won't wear jeans!!

Oops, I'm not a golf person. Maybe it was the Open. All I know was he was GM at Baltusrol in north Jersey. Sorry.

 

[golfgal]

Oops, I'm not a golf person. Maybe it was the Open. All I know was he was GM at Baltusrol in north Jersey. Sorry.

BUMMMMERRR. Augusta is on my bucket list--they only play the Master's at Augusta. Baltustol probably hosted another major though.

 

[BelleWDW]

Hmmmm......my unemployed uncle who lived in the projects at the time and was expecting his third child the week after my wedding should, instead of feeding his family, go and buy clothing just to please me....I don't think so. We would have bought his family clothes (and I did, in fact, buy his daughters dresses to be my "helpers" in the wedding) but it would have insulted his pride to offer it to him. Even people going through tough times have a right to pride.

I could care less if he wore jeans. I was glad he came.

Ever hear of Goodwill?
Shirts-$5...slacks $7
I donate new and nearly new clothes to them all the time
And I'm talking Polo, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Loren

In fact afew weeks ago i gave them 10 coats/sportscoats because DH is a size smaller-and two of them were leather jackets

 

[BelleWDW]

Reality check: The whole world doesn't revolve around what you would do, nor does it take its cues from what you think is appropriate or inappropriate. It's a big ole world out there and not everyone behaves the way someone from one small region of the country would behave. (thank goodness)

So glad Emily Post doesn't think so....or Miss Manners. There are social appropriate manners and dress....and these ladies books and columns try to educate the "less informed"

If some yokels want to dress down for everything-so be it.
That was the point of the OP-right?

 

[mjkacmom]

Around here, men wear suits to weddings, and every country club had a dress code that excludes denim. We once attended a backyard wedding in MA, so DH wore khaki's and a blazer, to dress down a bit.

 

[luvmy3]

Ever hear of Goodwill?
Shirts-$5...slacks $7
I donate new and nearly new clothes to them all the time
And I'm talking Polo, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Loren

In fact afew weeks ago i gave them 10 coats/sportscoats because DH is a size smaller-and two of them were leather jackets

Maybe instead of donating to Goodwill you should go around the various neighborhoods of your community and give those clothes directly to those people who have NO excuse not to own them

 

[BelleWDW]

Maybe instead of donating to Goodwill you should go around the various neighborhoods of your community and give those clothes directly to those people who have NO excuse not to own them

The whole concept of Goodwill is to give employment to the less advantaged-everyone working there is in that catagory.

Plus it allows those who are poor to be able to get good clothes for 90% off.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Ever hear of Goodwill?
Shirts-$5...slacks $7

Funny you should mention that. I'm making out this week's grocery list and am surfing the digital weekly flier while I'm DIS-ing. This week, the smart shopper who has $12.00 can get:

A gallon of milk: $1.79
10 pound bag of potatoes: $1.99
2# boneless center cut pork loin chops @ $2.99 a pound: $5.98
Loaf of generic bread: .78 cents
2 cans of corn or beans (not on sale) @ .75 ea: $1.50

That equals $12.04.

So the choice is one person buys your old clothes at $12.00 - assuming they'd fit that person - wear them once, and the rest of the family goes hungry for one night

or

Feed your family of four for one night (+ leftovers) for the exact same amount of money and go to the wedding in jeans and tennis shoes.

I really have no use for snobs who think it's oh-so-easy and like to dump on other people. Obviously you've had no first-hand experience with the 'lower lifes' who've had to decide between clothes, medication, heat or food.

Here's a hint although I doubt you'll get it (people like you never do): proper attire in order to impress those who think they're all that and a bag of chips is typically at the bottom of the list of priorities for others with more important things on their minds.

 

[Carly_Roach]

Maybe instead of donating to Goodwill you should go around the various neighborhoods of your community and give those clothes directly to those people who have NO excuse not to own them

Thank you.

 

[barkley]

Ever hear of Goodwill?
Shirts-$5...slacks $7
I donate new and nearly new clothes to them all the time
And I'm talking Polo, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Loren

In fact afew weeks ago i gave them 10 coats/sportscoats because DH is a size smaller-and two of them were leather jackets

goodwill (and salvation army and the like) are'nt everywhere, much as i wish they were (i used to use them exclusivly to get dd's holiday dresses-why pay over $100 for new when there were ones that still had the tags on them for less than $10). we live ruraly now and it would be the time/cost to travel 2 hours to get to one. even when we lived in a more urbanized area they were'nt in every town.

and-while $5 or $7 does'nt sound like much, for some it is and can be a significant part of an area of their budget-for the students who attend highschool with my dd, if they qualify for reduced lunch $5 would cover their lunches for 2 1/2 weeks. if it came down to buying a shirt for a wedding vs. providing 2 1/2 weeks of hot lunches for my kid it would be a no brainer on which way to go.

 

[Carly_Roach]

The whole concept of Goodwill is to give employment to the less advantaged-everyone working there is in that catagory.

Plus it allows those who are poor to be able to get good clothes for 90% off.

Good grief! Can you even GET more condescending and disgusting? Ew. You might want to quit now because you're being really, really offensive.

 

[luvmy3]

The whole concept of Goodwill is to give employment to the less advantaged-everyone working there is in that catagory.

Plus it allows those who are poor to be able to get good clothes for 90% off.[/QUOTE]

That really has nothing to do with the fact that you feel that there is no excuse for people to not own anything other than jeans. If it really bothers you that someone you don't know and will never meet doesn't own a pair of nice dress pants because they *shouldn't* have any excuse not to- go out in your community and get to know them, see exactly why it is they don't own any, maybe you will see that there is an excuse. Judging by your comment, I don't see you as the type of person who would do that, so go ahead and take your Tommy and your Ralph Lauren (not Loren) to Goodwill so that you continue to believe there's *no excuse*.

 

[LaraK]

Ever hear of Goodwill?
Shirts-$5...slacks $7
I donate new and nearly new clothes to them all the time
And I'm talking Polo, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Loren

In fact afew weeks ago i gave them 10 coats/sportscoats because DH is a size smaller-and two of them were leather jackets

You really have no concept of true poverty do you. How nice to live in your ivory tower and judge others. Unfortunately (for you) Karma usually does bad things to people who feel it is there place to live so high and mighty above us mere mortals.

Good luck with that. I'll keep on loving my family, no matter what they wear.

 

[doxdogy]

Why in heaven's name do you care about what an Uncle wore to a Niece's wedding? It wasn't YOUR wedding or YOUR niece? If she was fine with it, that is all that matters. Oh and by the way it is Ralph Lauren not Loren.

Ever hear of Goodwill?
Shirts-$5...slacks $7
I donate new and nearly new clothes to them all the time
And I'm talking Polo, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Loren

In fact afew weeks ago i gave them 10 coats/sportscoats because DH is a size smaller-and two of them were leather jackets

 

[barkley]

The whole concept of Goodwill is to give employment to the less advantaged-everyone working there is in that catagory.

Plus it allows those who are poor to be able to get good clothes for 90% off.

the stores are in place strictly as any other retail buisness is-to make money. money that is used by goodwill to serve individuals from all walks of life, not just those who are "less advantaged" or "poor". while individual staff at a given goodwill store may have been a participant in a goodwill program it is not the criteria for employment-they list openings on their website as well as in standard employment classified ads (nothing in the m.q.'s saying "only less advantaged need apply").

 

[declansdad]

You sure are a judgmental bunch. The op didn't say anything about a dress code so how are we to know if it was appropriate or not.

 

[LUVMYTINK]

goodwill (and salvation army and the like) are'nt everywhere, much as i wish they were (i used to use them exclusivly to get dd's holiday dresses-why pay over $100 for new when there were ones that still had the tags on them for less than $10). we live ruraly now and it would be the time/cost to travel 2 hours to get to one. even when we lived in a more urbanized area they were'nt in every town.

Exactly.

Oh and I know someone ( not pointing anyone here out but there is always that one person ), since my town is listed for my location, is gonna Google a local Salvation Army.
Yes it's gonna list one but guess what? It's been condemned and everything thrown away because of a rain storm earlier this year that dumped 10 inches in 2 hours that flooded the entire store.
I live in a small town so the next closest would probably be in the next town which is a 30 minute trip to get there. Probably waste more in gas than what you would spend on a dress.


My MIL has been unemployed for awhile. I could care less what she wore to my wedding, my DD's wedding or either of my DS's weddings, just as long as she was there. That is all that matters.

Heck my sister just got married this past March and she told us and other guests to wear what we felt comfortable in. She and my BIL didn't care ( or worry) about clothing attire they just wanted everyone they cared about there.