What is it with some people and their dogs?

[MushyMushy]

I just want to preface this with the following: I love dogs. I'm a dog person and would have several if I could. I have one now, and I've always had one in my life. I grew up around them, and my grandfather was the local dog catcher when I was a kid, so I knew a lot about them. He rescued as many as he could.

Anyway, I went to a friend's (Amy) house the other day with another friend (Mary). Amy has a cocker spaniel, and Mary brought her 3 year old son. I brought my DD, and she's 10. The dog had never been around kids before, so Amy was a bit worried about how he'd react.

He was fine with my DD, because she's bigger and knows how to handle herself around dogs. However, whenever Mary's son would get excited or act the least bit energetic, the dog would get aggressive by jumping up at the son's face and trying to bite him, or he'd chase the boy, growling and nipping at his heels. Again, I know dogs pretty well, and this was definitely aggression and not playing. Amy kept assuring Mary that the dog was just playing too rough, and would apologize.

Whenever the dog would get worked up and growl or get snarly, Amy would lean down and comfort him and say, "Are you okay?" To the dog! Not to the child.



I couldn't believe how casual they were about the whole thing! I was nervous and anxious the whole time, thinking the dog was going to bite a chunk out of the boy's face, so I kept insinuating myself between the dog and child the entire time, and I couldn't relax at all because I was so worried something would happen. And this wasn't even my kid.

I just don't understand how some people can't read their own dogs any better than that! This has happened so many times where I've gone into a home with my kids when they were small and you could just tell the dog was very threatened and feeling territorial. The owner would have the attitude that "this is the dog's house too, so he's not going anywhere."

I love my dog too, but I can guarantee, if someone brings a kid to my house, the dog's going to get locked in my bedroom (Oh poor poor puppy, getting the A/C and television) or getting tied outside during the visit. I think some dogs are absolutely wonderful and calm with little kids, but MINE isn't and I recognize that.

Any thoughts?

 

[wdwmom2]

Mix that dog with young active children and you have a recipe for disaster!!!

 

[Ready to go in Ok]

I have seen the same reaction you are describing. My doxie is NOT a people friendly dog. Whenever anyone outside of the family comes over, he goes outside, or in a room with the door shut. As much as I love him (I tell my girls that he is the only son I will ever have) I will not risk him biting anyone. Whenever we have to take him to the vet, people contstantly come over to pet him, and continue to try even when he growls. I usually end up standing there with my hand holding his mouth shut while telling people, he will bite! They more often than not ignore me and continue to try to pet him. I think people are lulled into a false sense of security because he is a small dog. He has big teeth though!

 

[doxdogy]

That is not a good reaction on the part of the dog. If any of my dogs behaved around children in that manner, they would be put up. We do not tolerate any aggressive behavior from our dogs. We have worked hard to socilaize them.

 

[RitaZ.]

I'm with you, but something tells me this thread will get "ugly".

I was bit by a dog back in April and I had to hear from the owner, ad nauseam, how it had never bitten anyone before. When I told the owner that I would be going to the hospital, she said it wasn't necessary because he had bitten her in the past and she had no problems. Then, she proceeded to show me the scars. Again, I was the first person the dog ever bit for no reason.

 

[lovmy2girls]

Maybe not the same thing here. My aunt had this poodle that was so mean. I remember going to her house and being so scared of that dog. He would growl, bite, and attack if you looked at it wrong. As a small child that dog scared me. I had to ride all the way from Florida to New York with Cujo in the front seat and I said all that to say this, MY Aunt got a big kick out of it. She would just pat the dog, and talk sweet to it. Meanwhile, never mind the wet spot back here Aunt Carol!

 

[pearlieq]

Eh.

I tend to fall more on the side of "the pet lives here, you don't", but I do agree that dogs and small children aren't usually a good mix. I don't blame her for being primarily concerned with her dog (the kid has his mom to look out for him) but I think the best solution would have been removing the dog from the situation. A couple of hours outside (in nice weather) or in the master bedroom wouldn't have been the end of the world.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't so much disagree with her mindset, just the way she handled the situation.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Any thoughts?

I am telling YOU!!!
Same thing with dogs barking at people walking by and the owners stand there oblivious and do not CORRECT the dog.
Do you not understand that this dog is "top dog" of the yard...when the owner is in presence dog should be submissive.
I have had alot of scary moments walking my own dogs.

 

[MushyMushy]

Eh.

I tend to fall more on the side of "the pet lives here, you don't", but I do agree that dogs and small children aren't usually a good mix. I don't blame her for being primarily concerned with her dog (the kid has his mom to look out for him) but I think the best solution would have been removing the dog from the situation. A couple of hours outside (in nice weather) or in the master bedroom wouldn't have been the end of the world.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't so much disagree with her mindset, just the way she handled the situation.

But the thing is, when you've got a dog behaving that way, don't you think you're reinforcing that type of aggression by soothing it and comforting it like that? For all the dog knows, you could be saying, "Good dog, eat that boy," instead of "Are you okay, baby?" Amy's planning on starting a family very soon, and she could be starting a problem that she has no idea she's doing.

As for the kid having mom to look out for him, she didn't seem to be the least bit concerned. I don't know if she's just not used to dogs and took Amy's word for it that he was just being playful, or what. I can't help but wonder if I helped avoid a bite by being there. Every time the boy started to run through the room, I'd call the dog over and pet him and talk to him to try to distract him. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't a hardship, because he's a cute doggy. But, I was just worried.

 

[pearlieq]

But the thing is, when you've got a dog behaving that way, don't you think you're reinforcing that type of aggression by soothing it and comforting it like that?
.

I totally agree--that was not the right way to handle that situation and could wind up being very destructive in the future.

It's more that I understand that her primary concern was for her dog, not her friend's child. She just handled it the wrong way.

It sounds like it was a good think you were there--for all involved!

 

[momof2inPA]

There was a lady at my 6 year old's baseball game the other day, whose little dog bit her grandson's hand. The kid cried and cried, while the mom, grandma, and grandpa did nothing. Another kid then came up to the dog later and the grandma said, "Don't pet him. He's biting today." Why would someone bring a dog that bites to a busy ball field full of kids?

Another story. Did anyone here the story about the woman who was mauled to death by her wolf hybrids? That was so gross. The neighbor found them eating their owner.

 

[mking624]

I definitely agree with pearlie on this.

As for the comforting/soothing the dog situation...I'm wondering if this was such an uncommon behavior for the dog that your friend was concerned for her pet. In that case, I could understand her wanting to comfort the dog....but I agree in that the dog should have been removed until the time you all left.

Why would someone bring a dog that bites to a busy ball field full of kids?

I can see your point and yet I can understand people wanting to take their pets out. I think if the dog is leashed and the owner lets the people know upfront not to pet them, then I don't see it as a problem. I honestly think everyone should ask to pet an animal and not just assume it'll be ok. Animals can/may go on the defensive if someone they don't know all of a sudden reaches out to touch them. It's not like they're humans where they'll know better.

 

[kayeandjim00]

Eh.

I tend to fall more on the side of "the pet lives here, you don't", but I do agree that dogs and small children aren't usually a good mix. I don't blame her for being primarily concerned with her dog (the kid has his mom to look out for him) but I think the best solution would have been removing the dog from the situation. A couple of hours outside (in nice weather) or in the master bedroom wouldn't have been the end of the world.

I guess what I'm saying is that I don't so much disagree with her mindset, just the way she handled the situation.

ITA I'll be totally honest one of my dogs is not good with kids. We have only one set of children amongst all of our friends and family and we just don't have the kids over. The dog lives here and it's just as easy for us to visit them as them to visit us. No need to stress out the dog or to have the kids get hurt. It truly sounds like the owner was unaware that the dog would act that way. It's not uncommon for dogs to behave like that. My dog is find with kids that are older but not small ones. Kids crying on tv will send him to the hall to hide so we just keep him out of the situation.

 

[momof2inPA]

I can see your point and yet I can understand people wanting to take their pets out. I think if the dog is leashed and the owner lets the people know upfront not to pet them, then I don't see it as a problem. I honestly think everyone should ask to pet an animal and not just assume it'll be ok. Animals can/may go on the defensive if someone they don't know all of a sudden reaches out to touch them. It's not like they're humans where they'll know better.

That's crap! If a dog has a history of biting, keep it at home in the backyard or take it to a pet park if you have to, but keep it away from a kids' venue. The kids have a right to be at the ballfield, not the dogs.

 

[mking624]

That's crap! If a dog has a history of biting, keep it at home in the backyard or take it to a pet park if you have to, but keep it away from a kids' venue. The kids have a right to be at the ballfield, not the dogs.

You can think it's crap all you'd like. But if the ballfield is in a publicly owned area, the owners and their pets have every right to be there as well. Now if it's a privately owned location, then sure. But if it's not privately owned (and/or the area has no rules on the matter), legally no one has more of a right to be there.

 

[pearlieq]

That's crap!

That's uncalledfor!

 

[Christine]

Many people are notorious for thinking their dogs *think* like humans. They don't. They want and need boundaries. This woman was doing nothing but REWARDING her dog for its aggressive behavior every time she patted and cooed to him. That dog needed a swift jerk on his collar and a strong command right at that moment. Basically that woman and her dog are a lost cause.

 

[RitaZ.]

Since dogs don't know "better", then I have to ask: Wouldn't it be wiser for the owners to put the dog in a room or outside while they have guests? I'd rather deal with that scenario than having to possibly deal with a dog attacking a guest in my home and also face the ramifications of such an incident.

The owner of the dog that bit me was fined about $300, most of which was for the unprovoked bite. The owner was scared that I would sue her, which I had no intention of doing. It could have all been prevented, but ...

 

[momof2inPA]

You can think it's crap all you'd like. But if the ballfield is in a publicly owned area, the owners and their pets have every right to be there as well. Now if it's a privately owned location, then sure. But if it's not privately owned (and/or the area has no rules on the matter), legally no one has more of a right to be there.

If a dog has a history of biting, it is considered a dangerous dog and has no right to be anywhere, much less a ballfield where there are children. In PA, dogs must be on leashes in public areas, but they are allowed in public areas. Even places where it's clearly posted that dogs aren't allowed, like our soccer fields, people still bring the dogs. It's kind of fun to tell them the rules, so they have to leave the field. Don't even get me started on the lady who led her dog into the preschool to pick up her granddaughter after class all the time and the people who take their dogs on the kid's playground equipment, like it's a pet park. In years past, it seemed that people had more common sense about where dogs did and didn't belong.

 

[disneynutt1225]

The owner of the dog that bit me was fined about $300, most of which was for the unprovoked bite. The owner was scared that I would sue her, which I had no intention of doing. It could have all been prevented, but ...

I was wondering what the outcome of that whole thing was...glad to hear she didn't get off scott free!

I love my dog dearly, but I don't make excuses for him (too often, anyway). If he tries to bite, he's properly reprimanded and segregated. I find he's more likely to nip at someone in his own house - he can be a little territorial. However, he wasn't always that way - he was attacked by another dog at a dog park a couple of years ago (he was 5 months old) and hasn't been the same since. But, anyway, we're making strides at proper socialization and he hasn't tried to nip at anyone in a while.

That said, I think the cocker spaniel's owner is too off in her own little world. Her dog should have been disciplined, not rewarded for that behavior. If she intends to have the dog around children in the future, she should keep it on a leash until he/she learns proper socialization.