What happens when you are in your 30's

[Luvinit]

I have made quite an observation...and I thought I would share it to see if any others feel the same way.

When I was a teenager...I just wanted to fit in.

When I was in my 20's...I just wanted everyone to really like me, so I would say yes to anything

Now, I am 32 and sometimes I think I am a nasty witch. I don't have time to "fit in" and I have enough people to please, that I have said NO more times than I could count (and I don't even feel guilty about it!!)

My questions is whats next??? What happens when your 40 and beyond??? Just wondering if I am normal...or should I up my dose of Zoloft?

Thanks,
Tracy

 

[dianeschlicht]

LOL! Since I can't quite remember my 30's or 40's, I'll just tell you that when you get over 50, you don't care nearly as much what anyone else thinks. You become a true individual!

 

[JESW]

Oh boy! I think the 40's are great because I just don't care about those "little" things anymore! Fitting in? Who cares! I don't feel the need to do things I don't want to and I've learned to just say no..

 

[WDWLVR]

In my 30's I learned to stop and smell the roses. Don't rush through life - enjoy it. Some of that may have come with being diagnosed with cancer at age 33.

In my 40's I'm learning to really appreciate each day as once it is gone it is gone forever. I've taken up scrapbooking to capture my favorite memories (Disney trips, cruises, etc.). I think some of this came from losing my mom to cancer the same year I turned 40.

I was never pretty, popular or part of the in group, but I'm happy with myself. I've also been blessed for the last 14 years to be with a wonderful man who just increases that happiness.

 

[Serena]

I spent my 20's and 30's taking care of everyone else and not taking care of myself. I'm 39 and I think I'm going to learn how to balance what I need too.

 

[hocksocmom]

The 30's went by quickly as I was busy raising my daughter and son and I am now 43. I think the 40's bring a sense of well being for what has been accomplished and what lies ahead. I find it easier to say no and definately have less (if any) desire to impress others or live up to their expectations. The 40's also bring decreased metabolism which stinks!!

 

[NHAnn]

Originally posted by hocksocmom
The 40's also bring decreased metabolism which stinks!!

That's EXACTLY what I was thinking as I read through all the other posts LOL

 

[Gail T AGAIN]

my 20s, I screwed up got married to be in the IN CROWD with everyone else. my 30 was the best, I found myself, who I am, what I am about and that I didn't have to listen to others to feel good about myself. now my 40s, so far they are the best. I do what I want, still yes people but not as much and now know I don't need a man to make me complete. I am as lonely as hell but I am standing on my own 2 feet, "I am woman here me roar"
Life is just on the right path for me the older I get

 

[cgcw]

I found being over 40, it doesn't really matter. I can still do everything I was able to do when I was younger. But, with a little more confidence.

I also have found that I want more time with my family. They are the most important part of my life. Seeing my children grow up so fast (they are young for my age -- 3 and 8) really hits home. I'm learning not to take things for granted anymore because life can change in a split second. I'm also learning to relax -- just a bit more as I get older.

 

[ebaynut31]

I'm in my 30's and Zoloft is a Wonderful drug!!! I have a 9 yo daughter. I have 2 best friends, we grew up together. knew each other since we were about 7 or 8 years old. my friend Heidi has 5 children and I am constantly helping her out. She is married. My other friend Tammy just started her family. She has a 2yo boy and another boy on the way. Tammy is married also. My daughter and I are babysitters for everyone.

I feel I am losing out on a lot because of the whole babysitting thing.

It's nice to know I am not the only one that feels like a "witch" at times.

Everyone says "Why are you going to Disney again? There are other places in the world you know!" Well, we constantly do things for others that I feel my daughter and I deserve to be in the most magical place on earth as much as possible!!!!!!

So there.

 

[luvflorida]

In my teens, like everyone else, I just wanted to fit in and not do anything that would make me stand out and possibly be ridiculed. I wasn't always happy.

In my mid-twenties through my mid-forties, life revolved around raising a family and working. Life was good and I was usually happy, although it could be exhausting at times because I always felt that it was my job to make sure everyone was happy and well cared for. The family was everything to me, (still is!), and we especially enjoyed all the vacations we took together.

Now, I am almost 48 and life couldn't be better! I am happy most of the time! I'm finding that being mid-to-late forties is a "freeing" feeling. I loved the kids throughout every stage of their development, but boy it's nice to have them become more independent. Two have grown into responsible young adults who are fun to be around. The youngest will be a teenager this summer. I'm ready for more "me" time! In my forties, I stopped caring about what other people think. I've also found myself becoming more cynical, (although I think my kids might like the 'witch' title better!), and I found myself doing things I might not have done when I was younger. I've discovered a love for snorkeling, (maybe because I'm a lot less concerned about how I look in a bathing suit), and I've enjoyed a few trips by myself, (nobody wants to go? Okay, I'll go by myself!).

When the kids were young, I hated it when my husband had to go away on business trips. I resented being left to do everything, and after awhile I would miss him. Now, when he has to go away on business, my first thought is-yippee, I get the whole bed to myself, I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I get to hog the computer!

Since my two oldest are in college, my youngest has more of me to herself, and we've taken several mother-daughter trips which have been a lot of fun. And my husband and I are looking ahead to moving to Florida in about five years.

Forty is terrific! Bring on fifty! Life is good!

 

[Kallison]

I always had the disease to please, you are lucky you escaped it so soon! I'm 42, I'm still a people pleaser, but I definitely say NO more readily. I have good friends that have gotten annoyed over trivial matters and I just let it go. I told one of my other friends, I'm way too busy for all this crap and she agreed. As you get older you tend to take less of the garbage from other people. It sounds to me like you are completely normal.

 

[Margie J]

In my ....

Teens - I just wanted to be accepted and be independent. I couldn't wait to move out on my own.

early 20's - I started out thinking I was "educated" since I went to College. I also thought I knew it all, or most of what this world was all about. I was an "adult" after all. Being an "adult" I wanted to now get married and start a family soon. I looked good but felt terrible.

mid to late 20's - Family tragedy hits and all my plans go by the wayside. I am back living at home, I end a long term on/off relationship and grow up.

30's - Loved it but it was tough. I started out tired all the time. I was fighting for independence again and trying to do everything. I was back in school, serving on all sorts of committees, travelling, etc. It was the decade that I found out what I was all about.

40's - It's early in this decade for me but so far so good. I'm overweight but feel great. I have more energy now than when I was in my 20's. I can look back on life and see what each time period taught me and understand my parents better. I can also look at people in their different decades and say "I remember when ....". Sometimes it's hard to resist telling someone that they really don't know what life is all about, just wait, but then someone in their 60's or beyond is probably thinking the same about me. Life is a journey and each of us takes a different road. We can all learn from one another if we only listen and stop saying "I know". What's right for me is just that and nobody can push me to be something I'm not. If they don't like me or don't agree, so what.

 

[Luvinit]

Thanks everyone.... I got married young (19)... had kids young...21, so I guess I am a little ahead of the game.

Don't get me wrong...I am not unhappy...I just felt such a big Change in myself over the last 2 years that I wasn't sure if I was Normal...but I guess that is how life is...constantly chaning!!!

Tracy

 

[grinningghost]

This is such a great and inspiring thread! In my teens, I went way overboard trying to be in with the "cool" kids. In my early 20"s, I worked and partied myself to death - thinking that's what young adults do. In my late 20's, I worked hard at being the perfect mother and employee, all while fighting a chronic disease. In my 30's, I realized, I don't have to be what everyone else thinks I should be. I opened myself up to what was really inside. So I like the Brady Bunch - who cares if anyone thinks it's stupid? So I like listening to old disco - who cares if anyone thinks it's cheesy? I am loving the real me alot more than the old me. I am now 38 and can't wait for the 40's!

 

[goofygirl]

My 30's are GREAT! I am 34.

In my childhood and teens, I was a "nerd" and didnt fit in. There was no use in trying to please anyone, because I knew I would never be one of "the crowd". Early on, I decided NOT to care what ANYONE thinks! It just isnt worth it.

I was always different. I never wanted to grow up and be a wife or mom. Not for me!

In my 20's I went to college, and afterward graduating, I quickly became disillusioned. I thought I was going to have a career, make money, meet a great guy, get my own place. Instead, I had a college degree with no full time job- the economy took a dive- I had no benefits, not as much money as I hoped, I couldn't afford a vacation, I still lived at home, and I couldn't meet a decent guy to save my life. This went on a LONG time, and I got very bitter, and depressed. So I know what you mean.

Come the year 2000 when I am 31, and everything changes! I get a full time job opportunity that is wonderful, get all the benefits, etc AND I meet the love of my life! Soon after, I get my own place, and enjoy a WDW vacation with my guy. It took a long time to get where I am at in life, and I'm enjoying it to the max!

Everything is going so good, I just hope everything stays the course into my 40's!

I guess the moral of the story is that can take awhile to get where you want and be the person you want to be, but once it DOES happen, its fabulous!