Our middle brother was profoundly mentally handicapped and that his well-being dominated every aspect of our family life (no exception - ever) was very difficult for me as a young child. As I matured and was trained to see his care as both a sacred duty and privilege, it got easier and I wouldn’t now change a minute of the sacrifice it took to see him safely home.
That said, if I’d have had a special-needs child of my own, I certainly would have done things differently, in relation to my other children, for everybody’s best interest.