What Do You Think...

[Mi3stooges]

While we were in Disney mind you, my DH asks me if I would ever date anyone if he died.
The reason he asked (I think) is because my step dad of 36 years, passed away of lung cancer. We joked my mom about setting her back up with my real father. She said NO and no she is not interested in men. Well my mom did meet someone with whom she spends time with doing things that my step dad wouldn't do, basically they enjoy each others company.
My answer to my DH was "Well, I don't know, I guess". EEETTTTT...wrong answer. I NEVER think of what I would do if he were gone, I was completely shocked and thrown off guard. Needless to say, I haven't talked to him, nor has he talked to me. I just came home with many grocery bags in the pouring rain and what did he do....just layed on the couch.
So...did anyone read their marriage handbooks???? I'm not being sarcastic, but our vows were till death do us part.

 

[HERSEY]

I hope you work things out. There is never a good way out of that question. I'm sure you want him to be happy and start dating maybe 5,6 years after you go too . Assure him that you are very happy to be with him and love him very much

 

[fabumouse]

My response to this question has always been - don't you live for my happiness? Hasn't it always been about *me*? Why would death change that?

 

[Curious]

What Do You Think...

I think: Pooooor Steeeve...*



(*SNL, Hanks & Cusack )

 

[Certifiable WDW Nut]

Personally, I think he's over reacting. I would fully expect my husband to date and possibly remarry, if anything happens to me. I would want him to be happy again and he would be so miserable if he had to spend his life alone. That's not fair. I hope he feels the same way.

I guess the lesson to learn is the one the politicians seem to know - never answer a hypothetical question.

Hope he comes around soon.

 

[malibuconlee]

Of course I would. I fully expect that DH would if it were me to go first.

The running joke around our house about how long to wait after if somehting were to happen. Answer "Just don't bring a date to the funeral."

I think you DH over reacted.

 

[diznygirl]

From the Marriage Handbook (page 957)

Proper Response to "Will you date/marry anyone after I die?":

"Of course not, dear. I could never feel the same about anyone else. I will be content with my memories, and my 25 cats."

 

[pixiemomma]

I always say to my husband, don't ask a question you might not like the answer to because I am going to answer it honestly. I cannot fathom why anyone would be offended by their spouse moving on after their demise. It is not as if they would no any better.

 

[Mi3stooges]

From the Marriage Handbook (page 957)

Proper Response to "Will you date/marry anyone after I die?":

"Of course not, dear. I could never feel the same about anyone else. I will be content with my memories, and my 25 cats."

Could you send me a copy of that book, I seem to have lost Mine!!

 

[Disney Doll]

You know, if I died first I would want DH to find someone else to love and take care of him. I would want her to be a nice woman, a good companion, and I would want her her to love him. I wouldn't want him to meet someone soon after I died, because then I think that it might be out of loneliness, and that's when I think people, especially men, make mistakes, and they get married too quickly and then realize that it was a mistake once the dust settles and their head clears.

As far as me...I doubt it. I have seen the caliber of men in my area, and quite frankly, I am not impressed. My DH is really a wonderful man, and another man would be hard-pressed to equal him. I see the men I work with, the men we are friends with, the men my colleagues date and so on, and I couldn't picture myself, even for a moment, putting up with the crap they throw at their girlfriends/spouses or tolerating the behavior that I see. I am just not that desperate.

 

[crazyme5kids]

My husband and I have a running joke about our next spouses. We've even chosen who each one will be with . He told my "next" husband Jake about it. Now when they have occassions to work together I always make sure he says hi to Jake from his next wife .
Then again my husband is always trying to claim other men are the fathers of our children lol. I know we're a little strange.

 

[Stitchfans]

when I asked my DH that question his response was, "shut up you arent going anywhere."

seriously though I would hope he would find someone else. loneliness is a horrible thing to experience.

 

[horseshowmom]

You know, if I died first I would want DH to find someone else to love and take care of him. I would want her to be a nice woman, a good companion, and I would want her her to love him. I wouldn't want him to meet someone soon after I died, because then I think that it might be out of loneliness, and that's when I think people, especially men, make mistakes, and they get married too quickly and then realize that it was a mistake once the dust settles and their head clears.

As far as me...I doubt it. I have seen the caliber of men in my area, and quite frankly, I am not impressed. My DH is really a wonderful man, and another man would be hard-pressed to equal him. I see the men I work with, the men we are friends with, the men my colleagues date and so on, and I couldn't picture myself, even for a moment, putting up with the crap they throw at their girlfriends/spouses or tolerating the behavior that I see. I am just not that desperate.

I tend to agree with all of this.

DD and I do tease my DH and say that he'd be scanning the crowd at my funeral looking for his next wife, because he's not one to be alone for long. If she and I spend the day shopping, halfway through we'll get a phone call asking if we're about done and when will we be coming home?

That said, I don't know that he would marry again. He says he wouldn't (I think he read page 957! ). DD says he only can if they have better horse than ours . I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't marry again.