What do you say to people who invite themselves?

[tiggerlover]

Looks like we won't be taking a vacation this summer, but really need to get away, we miss seeing you and would love to visit/crash at your house.

How do you reply to this when a family of 6 wants to come crash at your house?

 

[Darcy03231]

I'm sorry this really isn't a good time for me.

 

[Ceila]

Personally, I would say something like, "We'd love to see you all, too, but with our schedules it just wouldn't work to have everyone stay here. Let me get you the names of some hotels nearby if you really want to come up, and we can plan some times to get together while you're in town."

 

[tiggerlover]

I'm sorry this really isn't a good time for me.

Their repy, okay, let's plan to do it some time in the summer. We have been friends with these people for years, but we do not want to host them in our home, done that before and was very stressed after they left and a little poorer keeping them all fed. We got out of it this time, but do not know how we will keep putting them off and do not want to hurt their feelings.

 

[kaytieeldr]

"That doesn't work with our schedule. Let's meet in ____ (somewhere between your two locations) for a long weekend; we can stay at __ Hotel or ___ Motor Inn and spend time together.".

 

[kathie859]

I am assuming that you don't want the company. If that's the case, I'd say "gosh, sorry but the timing won't work for me." Now if it's family or a case of you being interested in keeping the peace or maintaining a friendship, I may offer a few inexpensive alternatives to your house; i.e, an extended stay motel, cabin in a park, maybe a campground (if they are campers).

Good luck.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Looks like we won't be taking a vacation this summer, but really need to get away, we miss seeing you and would love to visit/crash at your house.

How do you reply to this when a family of 6 wants to come crash at your house?

Here's what you tell them: "That's great! We aren't taking a vacation either! The whole family will be volunteering all this summer at these places instead; ____________________ (VBS, Habitat for Humanity, Food Bank, etc.,) and we would love to have your help! It's overwhelming all of the work that we have signed up for. Gosh, you're coming couldn't have been at a better time! We are really looking forward to having more hands to pitch in, and of course catching up too! Let us know when you can come so we can sign you all up with us!

Bet "something came up" will be the reply.

 

[ksjayhawks]

Personally, I would say something like, "We'd love to see you all, too, but with our schedules it just wouldn't work to have everyone stay here. Let me get you the names of some hotels nearby if you really want to come up, and we can plan some times to get together while you're in town."

This is my favorite! And, don't let them drop by your house first on their way to their hotel--or something will come up with the reservation and they will need to stay with you. Let them check in first, spend a night in the hotel, and then get together somewhere--park, zoo, etc.

 

[luvmy3]

I would just say that you don't know what your schedule is like and when you do you'll call them to arrange things, and then conveniently forget to call.

Its a tough one, I always think honesty is the best policy but this is hard. Would they be terribly offended if you told them that having 6 guests stay at your home is too stressful (not in those words) and offer to find a local hotel for them. Or like a pp suggest maybe find a place inbetween your locations that has something to do like a water or amusement park.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

We have an open door policy and purposely bought a large home to welcome guests - so we would say, "Great! We look forward to seeing you!"

 

[disykat]

"We were thinking the same thing and it's our turn to come to you - thanks for the idea!"

Then, even if you don't get a chance to visit them, they'll hopefully get the idea that it's really not your turn to host another visit.

 

[MouseketeerOvaHere]

Their repy, okay, let's plan to do it some time in the summer. We have been friends with these people for years, but we do not want to host them in our home, done that before and was very stressed after they left and a little poorer keeping them all fed. We got out of it this time, but do not know how we will keep putting them off and do not want to hurt their feelings.

I would simply state that "we are not financially able to host your family at this time". If they don't catch on with the now is not a right time and not financially able to have you all, then perhaps they need to have it brought to their attention that they are over stepping their welcome. I finally had to tell a good friend that they were putting me in a bind and our relationship would have to change. Not to sound rude, but how great are these friends if they continue to overstep their boundaries? Luckily, my friend caught on before it became to blunt. It truly does suck when loved ones step on our toes. I even had to run off family once that had overstayed their welcome. Best of luck to you.

 

[Silent1CB]

Here's what you tell them: "That's great! We aren't taking a vacation either! The whole family will be volunteering all this summer at these places instead; ____________________ (VBS, Habitat for Humanity, Food Bank, etc.,) and we would love to have your help! It's overwhelming all of the work that we have signed up for. Gosh, you're coming couldn't have been at a better time! We are really looking forward to having more hands to pitch in, and of course catching up too! Let us know when you can come so we can sign you all up with us!

Bet "something came up" will be the reply.

LOL, better than my contagious disease idea with tons of bodily fluid details.

 

[MnMomtoboys]

We have an open door policy and purposely bought a large home to welcome guests - so we would say, "Great! We look forward to seeing you!"

Great tiggerlover can send her friends to you.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Great tiggerlover can send her friends to you.

Errr, open door to my friends, not hers.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Funny how they are the moochers yet you feel bad about saying no. Personally, I would do what others suggested and tell them you'd love to see them here and there but staying overnight just doesn't work for you guys right now. Friends don't ask friends unreasonable requests and get mad when the other person says no, they know it was too much and let it slide. Seriously, if they cut you off for this they aren't really your friends, they've just been using you for a vacation spot.

 

[Bluestars]

If you tell them that it isn't a good time, then they will probably just pick another time. I think you might need to tell them that you would love to see them if they don't mind staying in a hotel because of......(think of something). Maybe the size of your house, I don't know. But there has got to be a reason that no time of year would be good for them to stay in your house.

Honestly though, I would not entertain people in my house if it caused undue stress for my family unless it was a very, very close relative. Even then, I might still suggest a hotel.

Good luck. I think it is a bit rude to for those people to try to push their family on you.

 

[Cornhusk]

" No. You cannot come because my home is not available for guests. When I am ready for it I will tell you. There is a hotel 6 nearby and I am sure there are discounts. Peace out."

 

[kaytieeldr]

Errr, open door to my friends, not hers.

But you're an outgoing man - her friends can become your friends !

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

But you're an outgoing man - her friends can become your friends !

Depends, do they drink?