What Do Wheen People Call U Names?

[HilaryDuff9008]

What do u do when ppl call u names? like ppl in mi class say "THATS GAY" when they dont like something and when someoen doesnt like u to be mean they call u gay, bisexual, homosexual, or a lesbian when u arent? what do u guyz do

 

[Viki]

What do u do when ppl call u names? like ppl in mi class say "THATS GAY" when they dont like something and when someoen doesnt like u to be mean they call u gay, bisexual, homosexual, or a lesbian when u arent? what do u guyz do

In this order:

1. I consider the source; I now know with what caliber of person I'm dealing.
2. I laugh.
3. I prove I'm smarter, by making others laugh.

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

When you aren't? Well, that's the tough point then isn't it? I am, so if someone calls me a lesbian, it's not a painful thing. Even if they try and make it be one, it isn't. That's what I am and I'm quite proud of it thank you.

People don't often say hurtful things around me. I am known for not allowing any type of bigoted language in my presence, period. Doesn't matter about what group or culture, it just isn't allowed.

If I were subjected to it by people who refused to respect my wishes, I'd simply walk away and avoid them on a regular basis.

 

[Fast Pass]

I have had this said about me because during college I lived with and socialized with this gay guy. Most people thought I must be a lesbian.

At first I was real upset then I realized if that is the worst thing people say about me then I have nothing to complain about.

The best thing is to ignore the person(s),eventually they will realize what an a**(es) they are.

The thing is to have confidence in who and what you are. Most of the people that are calling you names will be out of your life in a short time.

When they are actually calling you names just say " Oh well, tell me something important and maybe I'll care what you have to say."

Whatever you do don't let them make you feel bad about yourself. Only you can give someone permission to make you feel bad.

Plus anyway, I know we here at DIS aren't as good as real friends but we like you. We don't care if your straight or gay.

 

[HappyLawyer]

just learn to ignore, it is like once i said on here i am so retarded and people blew a fuse, it is just a saying, but i needed to remember that people take that personally, it happenes, i am a parent of a special needs child but i say things meaning no harm, people just open their mouths.

Learn to ignore

 

[4formickey]

Why let a stranger get you upset? Don't let some else control your life by getting upset. You know who you are and what you are so it does not matter what they say. Now if they are telling you something that you never knew about yourself that a different story People call me names every day at work but you must get to the place that you rubber and they are glue, what ever they say bounce off of you and stick to them.

 

[dkostel]

Ah, highschool (or perhaps gradeschool). Once you get to college it will be different. People at your age, are just trying to fit in, be like everyone else. When they & you get to college they will start to find their place in the world and act in ways that they are comfortable with. If people are older and still saying such things, I know they have real issues. Most likely they feel like bad about themselves, and misery loves company.

So I take what kids say with a grain of salt, and try to understand where ignorance in older people comes from. Everyone has a right to be wrong, and plenty of people exercise that right daily.

 

[exDS vet]

I've always wondered why people try to use this phrase as a negative one, to put others down. They truly don't realize how ignorant they sound. To say something or someone is gay is more of a comliment. It either means that the person or thing is happy, or they are homosexual. There is nothing wrong with either. A person who has a problem with us IS the person with the problem, not us.

Take Main St. U.S.A. at the parks. It represents the "gay 90's." It was the period of time at the end of the 19th century when people were very happy with their lives. No wars, no slaves, and our country was beginning to evolve.

I know that people like to think they are funny by saying "that's so gay", but I consider the source and never even blink. How about people who say "that's so 70's or 80's?" I guess that's supposed to be a put down too.

All of us say things that can be considered offensive by others. I refuse to be offended. At the same time, I don't worry about offending others. I believe that a person gets offended by comments that another person says that was not directly aimed at them. Like the person who made the "retarded" comment.

She said she is the parent of a special needs child. She used the phrase "retarded" in a conversation and somebody got offended. So what? Unless I tell a person directly that they are retarded, they have no right to be offended. Being offended is a selfish thing. Because if you are "offended", by the comments that you overhear, then you feel the need to share that with the person who said it, and make them feel bad about it. In most cases, they apologize. I usually don't.

If on a rare occasion I say something in a conversation that another person picks up on and eventually challenges me about, I usually say "I'm sorry you feel that way" and move on. If I hurt someone's feelings, then my apology will be more sincere. But I can't hurt a person's feelings if I am not talking directly to them. They just feel offended, and it's not my fault if they are over sensitive.

Does anybody else agree with my long explanation?

 

[finz2left]

Retarded as a pejorative is UNACCEPTABLE!. Why would any good human being think that it is okay to take a "real" diagnosis and use it as a pejorative or epithet to slam others. When you say "you're retarded" you are saying "You are stupid and idiotic -- like people with mental retardation." OH, but you are going to say, "I don't mean it that way. I just mean it as stupid or dumb -- not like "real" people with MR. Where do you think it came from? Why do you think people us the the accompanying "duh" hand motions???? Take responsibility for your words -- they are representative of how you view others. Do you use the N word, or call other groups by the racial slurs? Of course not! It's socially unacceptable now. But, let's pick on one group that is less likely to defend themselves, right?

And, hey, even if you mean it completely innocently, how do you think a child feels growing up -- always hearing "retarded" as synonymous with "stupid" or "bad" only to find out he or she has a real diagnosis of MR? I'm sure that child will then KNOW how the world feels about his or her diagnosis.

So, if words are just words, refrain from using the ones that have the potential to harm.

 

[Psychometrika]

There used to be a AD campaign in Chicago using the slogan "Words hit as hard as a fist. Watch what you say." While specifically relating to child abuse, the same applies here.

"Just an expression." Sure. The need to use these "expressions" seems to be inversely correlated with the users intelligence. Why even use them? Couldn't you find something more polite to say? This isn't political correctness gone wild, it's just being sensitive to others.

While I may have thought about it, I can't IMAGINE EVER using the antiquated term "retarded" as an adult in a conversation with anyone else anymore than I find it necessary to use the F word. In private, whilst cursing over some computer program than blew up, F's are flying back and forth. But in public? Retarded is an antiquated psychological term. It's offensive to many. Is it too hard to pick another word? If it is, I'd advise taking a Kaplan course, or reading once in awhile.

 

[BillSears]

I caught this thread title and had to hop in for a min. Hi to everyone here.

Personally I wouldn't worry about it. It's like someone calling you shorty when you're 6 foot tall. Or someone saying your hair is red when it's obviously red. Look at them like they've said something totally alien then shrug it off. If it doesn't apply to you then they're just shouting nonsense at you.

Now if thier words are true but hurtful then correct them. Let them know that you prefer a different term or that the subject is private. I realize that kids usually aren't going to back off but education is the only way they'll learn and maybe someday it'll sink in.

 

[Viki]

I caught this thread title and had to hop in for a min. Hi to everyone here.

Personally I wouldn't worry about it. It's like someone calling you shorty when you're 6 foot tall. Or someone saying your hair is red when it's obviously red. Look at them like they've said something totally alien then shrug it off. If it doesn't apply to you then they're just shouting nonsense at you.

Now if thier words are true but hurtful then correct them. Let them know that you prefer a different term or that the subject is private. I realize that kids usually aren't going to back off but education is the only way they'll learn and maybe someday it'll sink in.

\

Hey, Bill, back at you! And you are more than welcome to hop over any ole time!

 

[finz2left]

Bill,

But, their words may not be true for the child they are trying to insult, but they HURT every child with a REAL diagnosis of MR -- turning their cogntive disability into the brunt of an insult or joke. Ultimately, individuals with a cognitive disabilit y and their families are the ones who ARE hurt.

 

[BillSears]

Hey, Bill, back at you! And you are more than welcome to hop over any ole time!

Thanks Viki, I may pop in every now and then.

Bill,

But, their words may not be true for the child they are trying to insult, but they HURT every child with a REAL diagnosis of MR -- turning their cogntive disability into the brunt of an insult or joke. Ultimately, individuals with a cognitive disabilit y and their families are the ones who ARE hurt.

You're right Finz, originally I was just addressing the original post and not the MR issue. However looking at it with your viewpoint I do see that any name calling is not to be tolerated. I've always taught my daughter that but I tend to hold off on really coming down on others. It's hard to draw the line.