What do we do?

[DisneyDayTripper]

DW and I have a couple from college that we have been really good friends with for a few years. After graduating from college we've moved to total opposite sites of the country. We'd talk every now and then on the phone just to catch up and what not, but things have changed recently. They have invested in a company (that I will not mention), but they sell various products and what not and it is basically a pyramid scheme. We've been in the situation before where one of my friends did a similar company and our friendship turned into nothing more than an opportunity for him to pitch the products they were selling. I never really showed interest the products or joining their company, but eventually our relationship was nothing more than him calling me with a sales pitch as to why I should join their team or how their company just so happened to be looking for people to join their team in my area. It got to the point where I would just ignore his calls because he never once would ask or talk about anything except his business. DW and I are afraid that our relationship with this couple will turn the same way and that we will be nothing more to them than dollar signs. Have any of you been in a similar situation? DW and I talked last night about how to deal with the situation after they had called and talked for nearly 45 minutes non-stop about this business opportunity. DW and I had said we could just buy something to get them off our backs and save our friendship, but I told her I was afraid buying something would only feed the fire. Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

 

[just4today]

I wouldn't buy something just to get them off your backs. I doubt that will work. I would just be up front about it - tell them you value their friendship but you're absolutely not interested in joining their business and that you won't discuss it any further. That puts in on them to decide whether or not they want to continue being friends.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You listened to them for 45 mins? You are a good friend.

I would be upfront and tell them point blank you have no interest in investing or buying their products. If they continue, I would consider the friendship over.

A friend respects your friendship, not works you over to make money. That would be a business relationship, not a friendship.

So just be honest with them.

 

[jfoofj]

I would say that you are very, very busy right now in your chosen careers and couldn't possibly take on anything else, but thank you very much. As for buying anything from them, I would say that you already buy whatever the product is from somewhere that you have an established routine/relationships, but thanks very much. THEN change the topic, quickly. If they keep coming back to their business/sales pitch I would tell them, point blank, that you aren't interested. If they don't get the point, then either tell them WHY you will no longer be answering the calls, or if you are the non confrontational type (like I can be), don't answer when they call for a while. Hopefully it works out!

 

[Disney Doll]

My crazy SIL started this a few years back and I told her point blank that I was not interested in purchasing or joining the company, nor did I wish to discuss it again. I wished her well with her endeavor and that was it.

I would do the same with these friends...be tactful but make certain that they fully understand that you are not interested in getting involved with the company, nor are you interested in purchasing anything. A simple "It's not something we are interested in getting involved with at all" should suffice.

If it doesn't, then my next step would be to say "I feel badly that our friendship has declined into you badgering me to join or purchase your product, but that what it seems like to me. I hope you can respect our wishes not to discuss this".

If it kept up, the third step would be to write them off, since they are obviously not worried about the freindship and see you only as a potential business asset.

 

[Bren's Mom]

Oh I feel your pain! I had a long time very good friend who started this business. I loved him (in a platonic way) and tried to be patient and listen, encourage, etc. At one point he asked me to lunch, actually me and my then dh, to pitch the business to us. I accepted but told him that I did not believe I would 'sign' as I wasn't really interested but that I would give him the opportunity to try and convince me if he wanted. My then dh did not attend.

And during the lunch my friend said if my dh really loved me, really cared about his family (we had no children) that he would do it...to not do it would be showing that he didn't really care about our future.

Things were never really the same after that. I told him how angry I was over that comment, and that I thought I was being the best friend possible by listening to him and that I felt it was horribly disrespectful to both me and my then dh.

If I had to do it all over again I'd just cut him off at the pass. Perhaps the first 45 minute phone call I'd listen to. But then I would make it clear in no uncertain terms that while it was fine to talk about your business as I do my kids or my job or whatever...I was not and would not ever be interested in joining so please know that now and don't try so that this doesn't interefere with our friendship.

Good luck!

 

[Nancyg56]

We have had a few friends who wanted us to benefit from their new businesses. We told that that we do not have any interest and that we have too much respect for our friendship to waste their time when we know that there is nothing that would convince us to participate. They got the message.

 

[KAMKIM]

Maybe when you listened for so long it led them to believe you were interested? Only way to fix this now is to be upfront and blunt but not rude about it.

I had a similar situation with a coworker - she was selling Mary Kay and after much begging on her part convinced me to host a party. It was a waste of time as non of my friends or family were interested, she told me my family was rude....we haven't talked since.

 

[JR6ooo4]

If they call in the evening, answer the phone and reply "If you would like to talk business please call during business hours"

or if they call the house, "Sorry we do not accept business solicitations at this number"

As a last resort... "I do not wish to mix friends and business. Please choose."

Mikeeee

 

[Disney Ella]

DH has a friend who used to be in Amway and who would badger DH every chance he got. DH finally told him that he didn't want to hear about it ever again. This friend said that he and his wife were going to be able to quit working in five years and make a living solely from Amway. That never happened. I wonder how much they actually made selling Amway. It seems that they were always paying to go an Amway conference, driving to some far away city and paying to stay in a hotel. They eventually quit and the friend told DH it was because there are just too many close-minded people.

I hate to say it, but I think your friendship may be forever strained with these people. Once the pyramid scheme people get them, the friends you once knew are gone.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

Ugh, been in this sort of situation myself. Luckily, my friends have all been pretty bad salesmen (in that they actually recognize my total disinterest and leave me alone after the first pitch or two). Do not buy anything, that will only encourage them. If they start to bring it up say, "Hey, before you get into that, why don't you tell me what you've been up to." Keep interrupting them whenever they start. Show you're interested in them not the product.

And be prepared to lose them as friends. It may happen no matter what you do.

 

[WaltD4Me]

I had a very good friend get involved in this. We don't speak anymore.

You can't just buy something to get them off your back. Buying a few things just leads to them wanting to sell you more and get you involved in the business. It's AWFUL. Somehow it becomes all consuming to them and it's practically ALL they can talk about. They will do or say practically anything to get you involved. It's unbelievable. Just saying "No thank you" just does not work. And then when you put your foot down, well, that is when the friend decides you weren't really friends because you refuse to support them or become involved with them. Whether or not you become friends again is based on how quickly they get out of the business, some figure out in a reasonable amount of time and come and apologize, some get in much deeper and never do.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

DH and I were actually in Amway years ago before we had children. We did it for a couple of years and never made any money at it. DH has been in about 2 or 3 other pyramid schemes since then but I refuse to participate. He signed up for another one just a couple of months ago. But at least he is low key about it and doesn't harass our friends. I think most of these schemes sell people on the hope of succeeding and making millions. Unfortunately the reality is that very few do that.

I would be blunt with your friends and tell them you aren't interested. Don't buy products from them unless you really want them.

 

[eliza61]

Luckily for me, my girlfriend and I are childhood friends so when her and her husband got involved with one of these operations, I told her immediately and often that I was not buying any thing, not hosting any parties and not joining any companies.

She lasted about 3 years before the entire scheme fell flat.

 

[AlienBrain]

Same exact thing happened to me with two of my friends (they don't even know each other) who did the whole Amway Global pyramid scheme. Luckily, one of them snapped out of it. The other one is still chasing the rainbow.

I AM able to handle it though. Here is how:

1. Say that you don't have enough money to shell out for stuff like that at the moment.

2. If (1) did not work, tell them you aren't interested in buying goods that are shipped to you. Tell them that you only would be interested in goods you can pick up from a brick and mortar store.

3. If (2) did not work for me with one of my friends, so I had to resort to this. Act as if you are interested in their products and tell them that if they can beat the prices on a product that you currently buy that is similar to their product you will be interested. Trust me, they won't be able to beat the best price you can find elsewhere (Amazon, for example).

 

[DisneyDayTripper]

It is just so sad...DW was on the phone last night with them and she kept trying to change the subject, but everything she tried changing it to somehow got brought back to their business. They even sent me a facebook message today asking if we had visited their business website....umm no..i didn't because DW sent me a link to a product that was 2 small bottles for $90...so no...lol

Anyway...I agree that they have them hooked into believing on the few people that did succeed because the first thing she said was that they got to eat lunch with a couple that was a few years older than them and made $600,000 in their first few years.

I do believe they do somewhat brainwash their "employees" by feeding them crap to pass on to the costumers. She was saying that the products were approved by the FDA, but they were totally safe and that the FDA was just out to make money anyway....um...I don't care if the FDA is solely making money as long as they are approving only stuff that keeps me from glowing at night or growing a third arm. Sooo strange...I'm sure after a few more contacts we'll have to put our foot down and say listen we're not interested and we don't want this to effect our friendship.

 

[TerriP]

My MIL sells Shaklee. The struggle to get her to quit trying to sell to us is never ending. We have told her in no uncertain (and quite unfriendly) terms that we will never buy her products and she is not to push them on us...makes no difference. Last year, after yet another Christmas where we opened stockings and gifts full of Shaklee products, my DH blew a gasket. I told her she was in danger of completely alienating her son, was she sure she wanted to do that? I said she was coming close to having to pick between her son and Shaklee...she said, in front of all of us, that it was no comparison, she'd pick Shaklee.

Sometimes, people are lost to these schemes and no matter how hard you try, they can't see what they are doing. I sincerely hope your friends can be reasoned with and you don't lose your friendship.