what do u do if u have a sick friend/family member

[HOGFAN]

far away in another state? I have a very good friend in Texas who is basically dying of lupus. She is in horrible pain all the time or fighting respiratory infections. Has a pain pump. Her family are not very good about visiting her. She and I text several times a day. Due to other things going on here I cant get down there until March. I feel so guilty. I cant even be there to help her bear the pain. I know this is probaby her last Christmas. I pray that she lasts til March even.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I think the fact that you are continually communicating with her is an amazing gift to give all by itself. I'm sure you would love to be there but because of you she will never feel alone and that will improve her mood and that will help her in monumental ways.

I am so sorry someone you care about is going through this.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I would do exactly what you are doing. And I would try to get there when I could in person.

I'd send hand-written cards so that she can read them when she can't reach you by text. I would "visit" with her as I could. Does she have iChat or an equal?

 

[HOGFAN]

She doesnt have a computer but I like the idea of sending her a card in the mail as well as the texts. Funny cards. maybe once a week.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

far away in another state? I have a very good friend in Texas who is basically dying of lupus. She is in horrible pain all the time or fighting respiratory infections. Has a pain pump. Her family are not very good about visiting her. She and I text several times a day. Due to other things going on here I cant get down there until March. I feel so guilty. I cant even be there to help her bear the pain. I know this is probaby her last Christmas. I pray that she lasts til March even.

 

[mom2boys77]

My mom has cancer and she has a friend that sends her a new card every week. Sometimes funny, sometimes just a thinking of you card. I think it's a really sweet thing of her to do and my mom enjoys getting them. I'm sorry about your friend.

She doesnt have a computer but I like the idea of sending her a card in the mail as well as the texts. Funny cards. maybe once a week.

 

[Hemlock]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's illness.

For a close friend, I like to send "dinner". I would call your friend and let her know that dinner is on you that day and then call her favorite take-out restaurant and charge her dinner (and delivery) to your credit card. Of course this is assuming that your friend feels like eating due to her illness. If not, I would pay for a maid service to come in and clean her house for a day. I tried this for a friend and she really appreciated the break.

 

[loganpaulsmom]

I know these days everyones wallets are tight but what about thinking of getting her a cheap computer.. Like a laptop with a webcam?? and then you could talk to her all the time.. maybe that would make you feel better about not being able to be there for her.. but let me tell you as someone who recently was very sick.. any little attention or love that a friend shows means the world to us.. so she is probably happy to have you sending her just a couple of texts per day..

 

[HOGFAN]

she lives in assisted living so Im sure they care of her cleaning needs. Thanks for the idea tho. Its ironic, she and I were texting about me coming down there and me taking her out for awhile. She JUST texted back that there is a pretty good Applebees close to where she lives...God is good, and so are u guys More ideas are appreciated. I dont think she has an MP3 so I thought about buying one and downloading all my music..we have similar tastes..

 

[charming23]

I am sorry to hear about your sick friend and keeping in contact with her is one of the best things you can do. I know when my dad was sick his best friend lived in Texas and they communicated by phone and he would send funny cards or comic strip to my dad each week for a good chuckle.

Another idea would be to find out if she is allowed or wants snack type items and send her a bunch of her favorites.

 

[krcit]

My best friend is in the hospital preparing for a bone marrow transplant right now. I hate that I can't be with her but I text her and IM with her and it does us both good. We just talk about nonsense and laugh and I'll send her funny links. I know your friend has no computer but just keep up the texts and i would for sure send cards. The ipod is a great idea..she will think of you when she listens to it. I'm sorry. I will pray for your friend.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Oh, Hallmark has those cards where you can record a message. Maybe one telling her a joke or something so she can hear your voice?

I know you can phone her, but you can't replay a phone call when you are down.

If I think of anything else, I'll post.

 

[cybrkitn]

I can relate. My cousin and his family live in Alaska. Their 14 year old son was just diagnosed with bone cancer and is in a hospital in Washington state. They will be there for at least 6 months. My cousin will be setting up a computer with Skype, I believe, so that family can have video chats with him. We've also been asked to send funny cards to help cheer him up.

to you and your friend.

 

[cybrkitn]

Oh, Hallmark has those cards where you can record a message. Maybe one telling her a joke or something so she can hear your voice?

Those recordable cards are ok. DH and DS8 got me one for Mother's Day when DS was a toddler. Unfortunately, after a few years, the battery went and I no longer can hear the sweet little voice of a toddler. I was hoping DH would be able to record it onto something so we could still have it.

 

[HOGFAN]

Applebees doesnt deliver so I am gonna call the chamber of commerce to see if they know anybody that delivers. I think she will be thrilled to eat something other than from the assisted living place. She has ballooned up to 200 lbs because of the steroids(she used to weigh about 125) and she says she tries to eat less because of that so I was thinking a personal pan pizza.

 

[autumnpalm]

I just wanted to send to you and let you know I will be praying for you friend for healing and comfort. She is so lucky to have someone like you in her life. I think the cards and sending dinner are great suggestions! Even if you can't be there, thoughtful gestures like that can still mean so much.

Just trying to think of some other care package type suggestions... maybe a subscription to Netflix? I don't know if she has a TV/DVD player available for use but if she is in bed a lot it could provide some entertainment. New pajamas? Lotions? Good books for her to read? Some calming/uplifting CDs to listen to?

Prayers being sent!

 

[cm8]

I think the fact that you are continually communicating with her is an amazing gift to give all by itself. I'm sure you would love to be there but because of you she will never feel alone and that will improve her mood and that will help her in monumental ways.

I am so sorry someone you care about is going through this.

I really agree with what you stated. You are doing your part in more ways than you realize. She will not forget that.

 

[Heidict]

How about sending flowers and balloons or something from edible arrangements? Their chocolate dipped strawberries are amazing!

 

[HOGFAN]

wow, you guys really coming thru. thanks for prayers for her. I pray for her all the time. I like the edible arrangements idea. I am waiting right now from a call from her local chamber of commerce. called them this morning for a list of restaurants that deliver.

 

[crashbb]

I second the edible arrangments idea.

Does she have any sort of mini-fridge of her own? If so, could you arrange a grocery delivery? Lots of fresh fruits/vegetables plus some tasty treats?

I agree with the others though - just staying in communication with her, is doing her so much good.

ETA - When my mum was very sick, I was at university. I visited many weekends, but couldn't always be there. So, I called everyday at 8pm. See, 8 o'clock used to be our "think of you" time when she would travel when I was little. The rule was, we had each had to think of each other at 8 o'clock so that our thoughts would meet (apparently, I was uninformed about the whole time zone thing!). Anyway, I'd call every evening, so matter where I was (I had my watch alarm set to go off at 7:55pm) and it was our time. If she was too tired to talk, she'd stick the phone beside her and I'd sing her our lullaby ("Stay Awake" from Mary Poppins - which seems appropriate on this board). Could you set up a time like that?