What age to stay alone overnight?

[rascalmom]

This subject came up because DH and I are going to Orlando for a business trip in late Sept. The kids won't be going & I've been working out the details of having someone "housesit". My 16 year old DD comes out with "why can't we just stay by ourselves?" Yikes - because you're only 16, we'll be gone for 5 nights and your 12 year old sister and you aren't old enough yet! End of conversation.

Let's just say this was for only one night & we were not going to be half-way across the country. What age is appropriate? I might add that my 16 is extremely responsible, but I'm just not ready for this. I know it will start sometime, but when?

 

[iluvwdw_2002]

My parents didn't leave me along overnight until I was out of high school and going to college. I think once I hit the 18 mark, then it was okay to leave me along overnight. I was an extremely responsible teenager as well.

I also knew of a couple who had an 18 year senior and a 16 sophomore, and they asked my mom to housesit for a few days while the couple went on a business trip.

Just my two cents in from past observations.

 

[decker96]

If you just had the 16 year-old and it was one night nearby I would say okay, but since you also have a 12 year-old, I would wait. My kids are little (oldest is seven on Friday) so I haven't had any experience with this as a parent yet, but I can remember when I was a kid my parents didn't leave us home alone overnight until I was in college. I'm the oldest and have two younger siblings, my sis is 6 years younger and my brother is 12 years younger.
The first time we stayed alone I was 20 (sis 14 and bro 8), my parents went to California for 5 days (we lived in IL). I'm sure if my sibs had been closer in age to me they may have left us alone earlier, but I doubt before I was at least 18.

 

[aimee11621]

I'm 37 my mom still says no sleeping over anyones house.

No really, she nnnevverer let us sleep over . NO WAY

 

[4greatboys]

Well my oldest will be 17 on Sept 2 and I have never left him overnight alone at home. He is responsible and I do trust him completely but I always think what happens if someone breaks in, or he has an accident on the way to school and Im out of town, or .........lol
As for the when I dont really know when and he is usually on vacation with us.

 

[DMickey28]

I was left alone for the first time when I was 17, my senior year of high school. We had a band competition that we didn't return from until late at night. My parents went the the show with my little brother and then stayed down there overnight with him. I was dropped off at home by my friends parents and they were home the next day by around 12noon.

I was left home alone with my brother who is three years younger than me in May of that year for a two night weekend on my parents anniversary.

 

[rascalmom]

I guess I'll have to get used to the idea of this happening sometime before she graduates from college . This really took me by surprise - this is the teen who still prefers to go shopping with me instead of her friends. (and is choosing not to go with us because she doesn't want to miss 3 days of school)

I've compromised by not making her go spend the time at Grandma's. We're having the daughter of a good friend who recently finished her Master's degree & is still single come stay here. We will refer to her as the "housesitter". DD's dignity preserved, Mom's peace of mind maintained.

 

[barrett7890]

if i remember correctly, we were 17,15 and 13 the first time they left us alone.....think it was for about 4 days

 

[tidoublegger]

Personally, I think an appropriate age to be left alone is 18 years old.

 

[Disney01]

Our neighbors went away and took their two younger sons (12 and 8) to their parents. They let the older one stay home alone for 8 days while they went to Hawaii. He was 14 at the time. I thought they were nuts to leave a 14 year old alone that long. They said "It lets him learn how to develop our trust". What?? Again, what if something happened? It's amazing how quick even the most sophisticated teenager can turn right back into a scared kid when something goes wrong.

 

[ahutton]

For me the decision would hinge on what kind of support you have in the area. If you have grandparents or aunts/uncles nearby who will be home then maybe it wouldn't be too bad. Then if something serious did happen you have a responsible adult near who can handle the emergency. We didn't have any family in the area - and my parents didn't leave me alone overnight until I was over 18... I was probably 20. We traveled together, but schools were a little different about missing days 15+ years ago then they are now.

 

[auntpolly]

We never left DD overnight by herself until she was out of HS -- too many times they get peer pressured into parites by kids who find out the parents are out of town.

 

[tidoublegger]

Originally posted by Disney01
It's amazing how quick even the most sophisticated teenager can turn right back into a scared kid when something goes wrong.

 

[Mimi Q]

My parents didn't let me stay alone overnight until I was out of high school. I think that's going to be the rule for my girls, too.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

It really depends on a lot of things. First of all, the chidren involved, of course. Their personalities, how tempted they might be, whether they would be afraid to be alone, etc. Also, would depend if there are siblings--siblings can be a good thing or bad. They might keep each other in line or more people to get into trouble. Are there attentive neighbors that you can trust close by. Are there relatives that live close who could be on call and could check on them.

My kids are 16DD and sons who are almost 14, almost 11, and 4yo. We are still far from being able to leave them, even if we made other arrangements for the 4yo. I'm hoping that in a couple of years when my DD is in college that we could maybe leave her in charge of her brothers overnight as long as we were not too far away.

T&B

 

[disykat]

When my parents drove my brother to college my sister and I stayed alone one night. My sister was 16 and I was almost 15. It never would have occured to us to have friends over - plus the neighbors would have ratted us out! We were both experienced baby sitters so I think we could have handled anything and having the dog there helped too.

In general I hold my kids back a year or two later from some of the freedoms I had as a child - just because of the way the world is today. I can see leaving them for one night when my kids are 17 and 15, but only if they aren't party animals and we have good neighbors.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

I was 15 and my sister was 18. My parents took our 8 year old brother with them. They were 3-4 hours away at my grandparents house. They often left us for the weekend because we often didn't want to go.

We had activities planned for the weekend and my sister drove. She was a Morehead Scholar and studied all of the time. My Dad loved traveling 2-3 weekends a month.

We were very responsible. It made us mature and ready when the time came to go to college. We didn't have the adjustment problems that overprotected students had going to college. We were more than ready to be on our own.

Lori

 

[Disney Doll]

I was 18 when my parents left me alone for a long weekend. I was a really trustworthy kid though and truly never got into any trouble.

 

[rascalmom]

We do have a wonderful support system. Friends and neighbors very nearby and both set of grandparents in the same city. She just wanted to be seen as old enough to do this own her own. She is an experienced babysitter, a straight A student and not a "party" girl at all. She tends to be very cautious and we have a great deal of trust with her. I just think it would be better to wait awhile. I'm sure I'll get the request again, but I think we'll wait until she's closer to 18.

 

[aprilgail2]

I was 15 and my brother was 17....my parents went to Barbados for 5 days on vacation.....I didn't have friends over but I didn't go to school the whole time they were gone....it was a Friday,Sat,Sun Mon and Tues so I missed 3 days of school...I rememeber it was winter here and I just stayed home all nice and warm watching TV all day! I told them when they came home I didn't feel well and stayed home. I remember another time I was probably about 15 too...they went away for a long weekend and I went to the beach and fell asleep...well I got sun poisoning and needed medicine, I called the Dr and he called in a perscription for me and I called a neighbor and she picked it up for me....