We've hit that stage (bedtime)

[simba20]

Cuddlebug is 2.5 and we've reached that stage at bedtime where she wants to stall ("I need a drink of water/I need to go potty/I want Gabby(dog)/I need a tissue/I need my ____") AND AT THE SAME TIME "the bad scary man is in my room."

HELP Mommies/Daddies.....PLEASE.

Also to add, last week she started waking up in the middle of the night and crying, really crying to the point of waking up. In the past she has cried for a bit and settled herself back to sleep. Well now she's crying, waking up, and calling out for one of us. So one of us would go get her, and try to settle her and bring her bed with us. Then she moved to crying, but then getting out of her bed and coming into our room. It's not like she plans this, it is an obvious middle of the night/out of nowhere type thing.

She also says she doesn't like her "big girl bed" (toddler bed) anymore which she has been sleeping in since November.

As you can see bedtime has become a struggle when it has previously never been.

 

[iwrbnd]

Oh, goodness. Sorry to hear that! I know everybody says routine and consistancy is the key. Age 2 is rough because their imagination is bigger than their ability to understand it. Also, everything is real to them which makes it even scarier.

I don't have any great ideas except to say don't do what we did which was absolutely nothing. We just let her crawl in bed with us so we could get some sleep. Well, guess what? We're now going through what you are with a 7 year old!

Good luck!

 

[jmartinez1895]

It is just a phase, but I know that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. of my kids even had what the doctor called night terrors at that age. One thing we did to help with the bad things that only they can see is I gave them spray bottles with water inside and told them it was monster spray ( or whatever the bad thing is at your home) and if they thought they herd it they could spray just a little and it would go away. I found that this gave them controll over the fear and did not feed into it like I thought it would at first. After a month or so of monster spray they got over it and did not need it any more.

 

[ginnymack]

Well, the good news is that is a phase. The bad news is that until she works through it (or you find the miracle solution) you are in for a rough road.

Things to try:

Consistant bedtime routine
Praise and rewards for going to bed promptly and staying there (maybe a sticker chart with a prize when it is filled?)
Monster/scary guy spray - A nice room freshener with some good acting by Mom & Dad (make a fuss about reading the "guarantee" on the lable to your spouse, etc)
Don't give in - kids that age don't get the concept of "a one time thing" if it is ok once it is ok forever!
Also, perhaps try a "preemptive" potty strike. I noticed about that age my kids started to wake up when they wet their diaper or had to go to the bathroom. I started taking them to the bathroom before I went to bed and it helped some of the night waking.

Unfortunatley, I don't think there is a magic bullet - but I sure wish you luck!

 

[Duckyiam71]

This is what we went through with my now DS5. This is by no means the right thing...he would come into our room to sleep so we had a sleeping bag on the floor for him. Slowly we started moving it closer to the door, then the hallway then his room and now he sleeps on his bed. I know it sounds very strange but it worked. The being scared part we took care by spraying "monster spray". It was actually lavender bed spray with a label I made with my cricut. We would spray at night to get rid of the monsters. BTW he is 5 and he is starting the stall thing again but he goes to bed at 730 and it is not dark out! Good luck!

 

[Willow25]

Our 2.5DD was always an angel sleeper but has recently begun the stalling at bedtime, getting out of bed at bedtime and in the middle of the night. We always just put her back into bed, we find it works in waves she will go a week without getting out and then will test the boundaries again. We have found if we are consistent in our response she stops the getting out of bed quickly. The stalling has not been a real issue, sometimes she asks for a drink I say no!! She always has plenty to drink at dinner and immediately following but we are working on toilet training and I don't want her going to bed with a full bladder. Most other stall tactics we have just said no and stuck with it and they have never been a problem. She has woken up from bad dreams but we just go in and comfort her she will usually go back to sleep.

 

[zoemurr]

always had a CD player next to their beds. When they go to bed they usually listen to stories on CDs. If they woke up in the middle of the night they would put music on to help them get back to sleep. (I have heard the Wiggles at 3am many times.. but it's better than a kid in my bed.)

My DS was a middle of the night kid.. we put a sleeping bag by the side of our bed. He could sleep there, but could not wake us up. This worked very well for awhile.. then he must have decided that it wasn't worth it and stayed in bed.

Maybe having that to distract her would help?

 

[princessmom29]

Supernanny sleep technique. You cannot feed into all of the stalling tactics and the play on your emotions. Put her to bed, and that is it. Do not communicate with her further. If she gets out, put her back. Every time. You must be consistent. It is hard the first night, mabye two, but if you stick with it, everyone gets to sleep all night uninterrupted. Othwise, it will linger and only get worse.

 

[puffkin]

Supernanny sleep technique. You cannot feed into all of the stalling tactics and the play on your emotions. Put her to bed, and that is it. Do not communicate with her further. If she gets out, put her back. Every time. You must be consistent. It is hard the first night, mabye two, but if you stick with it, everyone gets to sleep all night uninterrupted. Othwise, it will linger and only get worse.

Agreed. WE give in to ONE request a night (getting a special stuffed animal, leaving the light on, etc), then after that he gets put back in bed with no communication except, "I love you, close your eyes and go to sleep". It is all a power struggle with them. He will be fine for weeks and then his devious little mind will come up with something new to try and "trick" us into letting him stay up later or sleep in our bed or whatever it is he wants. I also keep a small cup of water in his room to avoid the thirsty issue.

 

[ginnymack]

Agreed. WE give in to ONE request a night (getting a special stuffed animal, leaving the light on, etc), then after that he gets put back in bed with no communication except, "I love you, close your eyes and go to sleep". It is all a power struggle with them. He will be fine for weeks and then his devious little mind will come up with something new to try and "trick" us into letting him stay up later or sleep in our bed or whatever it is he wants. I also keep a small cup of water in his room to avoid the thirsty issue.

Pre-emptive strike! Another great idea!

 

[Mrs D]

Yup, I agree with all above PPs. My DD2.9 has started this as well. I didn't catch on at first with the read me another story, I need to gave Daddy another kiss, then it was AH HA! I remembered DS going thru this at this age. What worked for DS (and I think I'll be making for DD right now) is a Sleep Rules Chart. Our says:
-Get PJs on
-Brush teeth
- 1 story or 1 book

1. Lay still in bed
2. Be very Quiet
3. Close your eyes
4. Go to sleep

This is what was recommended by Dr. Weissbluth in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It STILL works for DS4.5 whenever he wants to test those boundaries. But he calls us on the story or book when he try skipping it.

 

[LoveKermit]

And the time change helps too, doesn't it?

Sunday night we had "I'm not tired" at bedtime, then I realized, she probably wasn't--she took a 2.5 hour nap (I don't know why) and her little body thought it was 6:30, not 7:30.

So I did allow her back out of bed, read another book and rocked her. Bedtime's been a struggle all week. I'm looking forward to the weekend where she naps less so may be more tired.

I agree--do not give in. DD has had Bear taken away every night (our more effective version of time out). Once I do that, she gets her act together and falls asleep. But she has been stalling too, until I take bear. We need more songs, drink, etc.

Stand firm. Eventually I leave for a time out amount of time. Then, if she hasn't calmed down we kind of start over. One drink, maybe a little back rub and I'm out. (That was Sunday night)