Weekend trips?

[sharbear]

I can't think of a good title but I have a question. I have a SIL who takes trips all the time without her DH or her kids. She also takes a lot of trips with her DH but not the kids. Everytime I call she is gone somewhere. She sells this product out of her home and always seems to be at a conference for that or a girls' ski weekend or a cruise with her cousins. I just wondered if other people go places with out their families.

I have to say that I just don't go many places without either my kids or my DH. In the past year and a half I've left my family twice. Once to help take care of my sister's kids when her DH was in the hospital and once to go x-mas shopping out of town. Sometimes I take the kids to my sister's so that my kids can play with their cousins but that is the extent of my traveling.

I guess that I am just a homebody and I have never met anyone who is gone more than my SIL. She also has a lot of babysitter's. It's just different than how I am but I wonder if other people are this way.

 

[Tony-NJ]

as I do all the time. Other than that SO and I are almost always together. It's seldome that I will have to work over a weekend in the summer and Chris will go to the shore house with the family and I stay home and work. the only other time is maybe once per year - I will go visit Grandmother in FL for a long weekend.

I can't understand how people leave their families overnight just to be away more than maybe once per year. I know some couples who have either girls weekend every couple of years and some who have guys weekend as well. So I guess that's the same as you are asking.

 

[Disney845]

Hmmm interesting question. SO and I moved up to Indy from FL almost a year ago now. We have no children. He is gone on business trips OFTEN!!! Other than that he doesn't go away without me. He had one business trip to Miami Beach this past Sept. So we had planned to combined it with a small vacation to go to WDW and visit family. I got my ticket to leave for OIA when he went to Miami, but his trip got moved back a week. We had already payed my ticket so I went ahead to FL and spent a week at WDW with my mother. We then met up in Melbourne to visit family, and I went to Miami Beach with him. I stayed on in FL for 2 weeks (had to get a new ticket) after he left so I really had a 4 week vacation in FL, 3 weeks away from SO. We went down to FL for X-mas with the families, and due to some issues beyond our control, I ended up spending an extra 3 weeks down there without him, as he had to go back north for some business trips. I have once gone away for the day to visit an old friend from Maryland, who was coming to Indiana for a music conference. Other than SO having a very occasional "night out with the boys" we do things together all the time, including going anywhere.

 

[Steve H.]

We have friends that are always making trips, almost always without their DD (and the woman, often without her DH) and we find it kind of odd. At times, it seems like they view DD as a hassle more than anything. Made even worse by the fact that they just got approved to adopt another child.

 

[Tony-NJ]

That is kind of sad Steve! Why bother if you would feel that way?

 

[Steve H.]

My cynical opinion, Tony, is because the woman wants a boy so that her family has an "heir" (her husband is Indian and the first-born son holds a high distinction in their minds).

 

[sharbear]

That's it Steve, I just find it a bit odd. I think that my SIL loves her kids she just has almost full-time babysitters. Unless she is gone her DH never watches the kids. If she wants to do anything she has to hire a babysitter which she does all the time.

It's a whole other thread about people who go through great trouble to have kids only to not pay much attention to them. I will never get that and I know people who are exactly like that.

 

[minniecarousel]

I don't like going places w/o DH. We left the kids maybe 4 times for week-long vacations in 18 years! I've gone on a girls' weekend once and plan to do another one soon. DH & I took long weekends just about every year when the kids were growing up - thank goodness for family!!

 

[bsnyder]

Hmmmm, DH and I do occasionally take separate "vacations". He's been on several fishing or hunting weekends with the guys, and I've been to Disney World several weekends without him. And my SIL and I just spent an overnight away from our families to go to an all women's church retreat. I've also been contemplating doing a cycling vacation with some girlfriends, as it's something I've always wanted to do, yet DH has zero interest in that type of vacation.

Some might view this as bad. But in our case, we have a very secure and happy relationship, and we don't feel the need to be joined at the hip 24/7. I cherish my female relationships, and I know he values his male ones, and if one truly values those friendships you have to spend time on them.

I also don't think that any parent, mom or dad, needs to spend the childraising years being a martyr and sacrificing 100% of themselves for their children. IMO, never having time for yourself, either by yourself, or with friends, is unhealthy for both the parent and the child.

Of course, the opposite is unhealthy too, if one is dumping their children constantly, from the day they are born, then something is very wrong with the parent's committment to the child.

 

[tc]

Stephen takes an extended motorcycle trip once a year. These are always budget, so I don't go. Look at my tag, I hate to camp. If I'm going to be on a bike all day, I want a shower, soft bed and a hot tub.

I go see Sarah in Kansas over President's Day weekend for her birthday. It's a fun, all girl time.

Sometimes I go to a women's retreat with our church. But it's usually in March, and I am usually in a show at that time so have missed it the past few years.

Stephen takes church trips with the youth group, often. Winter Retreat is usually MLK weekend in January. Then it's off to Mexico during Spring Break to build houses in Juarez. He also takes a week in the summer for camp, and another week for a conference called CIY. That's three weeks and a few days. He's considering stopping youth work, and the only reason I am for it is so that he can have more vacation time to spend with me. But, I know that a bit selfish.

I have contemplated at trip to WDW, solo. It sounds very exciting to me, but I know I would miss Stephen terribly. I am not very good on my own. I'd have to hook up with some friendly Diser's. Anyone wanna go?

 

[Steve H.]

Bet -- don't get me wrong, DW and I have definitely taken our share of vacations apart from each other, so I see nothing wrong with it!

sharbear -- our friends have pretty much a full-time babysitter as well. She actually had the nerve to complain to DW one day that she never has any time to get things done, so she needs the babysitter. This was said to my part-time working, part-time SAHM, full-time chemo patient wife by a full-time SAHM with a cleaning lady who comes twice a week.

 

[Shannon G]

I occasionally have to travel for business, which means being away from DH and DD, but this is usually only a couple of times a year. Last month I took a vacation with "the girls" and left DD home with DH. She was only 5 months old at the time, and I had some other women say to me "I could never do that!" I'm not sure of they meant they would never want to leave their children to go on vacation, or if they could never leave their children alone with their husbands for a week! I guess I am lucky in that I have no qualms about leaving DD with DH for a week - he is a wonderful father, and is completely capable of taking care of her.

While I would not leave DD home all the time to travel without her, I do think it's okay, and even good, for couples to occasionally get away without the kids. I think that, especially when kids are very young, you take different types of trips with them that you might take just as a couple. This summer, we will have our family vacation - a week at a cottage in Maine. Hopefully, DH and I will be able to get away for an adults-only vacation next winter - I'm thinking relaxing someplace warm & sunny. While I know there are people inthis world who will think that it makes me a "Bad" mother, I think it's healthy for me (and all parents) to have some time away from their children now and then. It does not mean I love DD any less, and I would not do it if I thought she would suffer for it.