Wedding Vow Renewals

[T16GEM]

How long do you think you "should" be married for before considering a vow renewal? I have just been reading Laurafoster's TR of her wedding and it was all so beautiful and I would like something similar for a VR sometime in the future!

How long would you wait?

 

[gilld]

Personally I feel it dilutes the meaning of the original vows if you make them again - almost as if the original ones were only for a limited time. We did talk about it when we were approaching our 25th, but decided we both felt that as we felt the same as we did 25 years ago so why would we need to do it again?

 

[mandymouse]

I don't think there is any rule as to when you should renew your wedding vows. I would love to renew mine as we're coming up to our 20th wedding anniversary next year. I consider vow renewal as a great way to celebrate your marriage and a way to show how much you still love each other after some time together.

Let us know what you decide as I'd love to hear your plans

Mandy

 

[KayleeUK]

Mand - don't forget me, Sue and Nat as bridesmaid's

 

[wilma-bride]

Hmmm, Gill, I have to disagree with you actually. I know that some people who renew their vows do so because their marriage has been through a very rocky patch and they feel so strongly when they come through the other side of that, it's about renewing the promise they originally made and reaffirming that promise. So, for me, it doesn't dilute the vows, it makes them stronger and more meaningful.

Gems, in my opinion there is no timescale. A renewal of vows, as I suggested above, should be about reaffirming your love and your promise to each other. I am sure there are a few here who know but many who don't. DH and I renewed our vows 7 months after we first got married. The reason being is that we'd arranged, planned and booked (and paid for) a big wedding in August 2004. Unfortunately, just a few months before, DH found out he was going to Iraq. For reasons which I won't go into completely (but mainly to do with DS's 'legitimacy' and legal issues), we decided to get married before he went to Iraq. We did this at Chippenham Register Office on 29th January 2004. That is the day we were married 'officially' - it was just DH, me, DS, my Dad and Step-Mum. It sounds really unromantic but it wasn't at all - it was a lovely day. We didn't tell anyone we were getting married, just went and did it, we were home by 3 o'clock and went to work and told everyone the next day

Because we had everything booked for August and we couldn't get married again, we arranged to renew our vows at the August 'do'. All our family and friends were there, it was a really special day and I will never, ever forget it as long as I live. It was, without a doubt, the most wonderful day of my life. My FIL did a reading, we had some lovely 'vows' about our children and our life prior to the vow renewal. It was very, very special.

Just because I love to show off pictures, here's some of both of our weddings (see if you can guess which is which )


You probably can't tell but it snowed the day before and it was absolutely FREEZING!!!

 

[mandymouse]

Mand - don't forget me, Sue and Nat as bridesmaid's

No probs Kaylee, and Joseph could be my page boy (unless Alan wants to do it)

Mandy

BTW - fab photos Joh

 

[gilld]

Joh I completely understand why some people do it for reasons such as yours and those who have had marital difficulties, but if the marriage has been happy throughout, as ours has been lucky enough to be, then it seems as if the original sentiments weren't good enough.

But that is just the way we feel, I wouldn't presume to suggest that is how others feel. If someone asks an opinion though, surely it's not wrong to respond?

 

[Laurafoster]

I have just been reading Laurafoster's TR of her wedding and it was all so beautiful

Aww thanks!

I believe that its more a celebration of your marriage and your love so i dont feel that it makes the original vows and less significant! Alot of the people i spoke to when i was planning my wedding were having a vow renewal - but not anything as formal as a actually wedding more celebrating their love and commitment being as strong as ever. And i thik thats something that should be celebrated nowdays!

As for when shoul you do it? Whenever it feels right to you! It could be 5 years or 30 whatevers special to the two of you!

 

[wilma-bride]

Joh I completely understand why some people do it for reasons such as yours and those who have had marital difficulties, but if the marriage has been happy throughout, as ours has been lucky enough to be, then it seems as if the original sentiments weren't good enough.

But that is just the way we feel, I wouldn't presume to suggest that is how others feel. If someone asks an opinion though, surely it's not wrong to respond?

Totally understood Gill - we are all entitled to our opinions. You are very lucky to have had such a long and happy marriage - I hope Gary and I will feel like that in 25 years too

 

[gilld]

Well it's 30 years this December - and I hope you have such a happy marriage too

 

[KayleeUK]

No probs Kaylee, and Joseph could be my page boy (unless Alan wants to do it)

Mandy

BTW - fab photos Joh

You know how Al likes to dress up Mand

Great piccies Joh

 

[CustardTart]

I'm all for it! Our original wedding was a frugal low-key 1980's civil ceremony and we're renewing our vows aboard the Magic this September to celebrate and commemorate our 25th Wedding Anniversary...

Don't know about diluting the original vows - TBH I feel we've gone above and beyond them anyway. I know this event will make our relationship even more blessed...

 

[CustardTart]

Meant to say - lovely photos, Joh! You look so beautiful! I'm looking forward to having some decent photos from the onboard photographer...

 

[DeborahS]

Can't comment on the thread - since I am not married yet (just "living in sin" ).

BUT I wanted to say how grogeous Joh looks in her wedding photos - wow! Incredibly happy looking too . Thanks so much for sharing - I am a real sucker for wedding photos (maybe I can convince Stephen to say the vows some time soon! Then I can have my own wedding photos.. ).

Deborah

 

[Laurafoster]

I have to agree! and i LOVE the dress with the red on! Its gorgeous!!

 

[wils]

It sounds like a lovely idea to me! I've always liked the thought of having one oneday with just us and the kids there. Molly gets a bit put out when she looks at photos of the Wedding and she's not in any (she still struggles with the concept that we had a life before 2002! DH isn't too keen on the idea so if I want him there (probably need to really ) I think I'd have to organise it all as a surprise.

I don't know about timing - I think that's probably personal to each couple

 

[squitty]

I would of loved to renew my vows this year (20th)....Maybe we will do it for our 25th.
We had a double wedding and although we had a good day it just never seemed to be just 'our' day.
Karen, I hope you have a great day on board. Look forward to hearing all about it.
Lovely photos Joh, I love your wedding dress.

 

[natalielongstaff]

Mand - don't forget me, Sue and Nat as bridesmaid's

oooh yes please !! any excuse to get glammed up

 

[CustardTart]

...Karen, I hope you have a great day on board. Look forward to hearing all about it...

Thanks! I certainly will include all the details in a trip report - maybe with some photos, if I don't damage the poor guy's camera...

Coincidentally, last night my DH came home late (dinner with Big Boss over from the US) and, as we were sipping our late night hot drinks (you gotta love this new alcohol-free lifestyle), he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him again! I, of course, said "Don't be silly! You know I will!" Then he went and slipped a new beautiful diamond engagement ring on my finger which he'd had made unbeknown to me! I don't think there's a smilie to show how gob-smacked I was...

I'm still in shock...

 

[wilma-bride]

Oh Karen, how absolutely lovely - what a sweety your husband is