Wedding "Save The Date" question~~Update on page 4

[tlbwriter]

It isn't a close friend of DD's and she already has plans that weekend so she wasn't planning on going even before she got the card.

But... but... but... what about us??? We need to know what happens!!!

 

[luvmy3]

OP here again.

I spoke with my DD. The Save The Date card was very specific to the couple. It had a picture of them as the background with writing over the picture. I don't have the card in front of me but it said something along the lines of the M_____ and T_____ were getting married Date______ in Place________
Under that it said

Whitefish
Whitefish with a choice of potato or rice, vegetable, salad and rolls.
$18.95

Roast Duck
Half duckling served with wild rice pilaf, vegetable, salad and rolls.

$18.95

Prime Rib
Slow roasted Prime Rib served with baked potato, vegetable, salad and rolls.

Regular $17.50 King $21.00


It seems to me that they're letting everyone know the cost of the meal because they are expecting them to pay for it.

It isn't a close friend of DD's and she already has plans that weekend so she wasn't planning on going even before she got the card.

Well at least it looks like it will be open bar

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Just when you thought you have heard EVERY SINGLE TACKY invitation here on the DIS.

I am nominating you for "Best Tacky Invitation" for the Dis-Oscars.

 

[Jeafl]

That really is incredibly tacky.

As long as we're talking tacky, I will share my tacky story with all of you. I'm pretty sure I've shared it before, but it is worth repeating.

My cousin's daughter was getting married at a fairly nice hotel in Chicago.They ceremony was held outdoors on a 96 degree day, and we were dying of heat and thirst. We anxiously went into the reception hall to cool off and get a drink. We put our stuff down at our table, then headed to the bar.

When we got to the bar, the bartender asked to see our wrist. Huh? He didn't say anything at first, but when he handed me my drink he told me it would be $5.00! I said "Sorry, I didn't know it was a cash bar, and I didn't bring my purse with me". I then told him I would be right back and went to go get some money. When I got back the bartender apologized and said "it's only an open bar for the people with wristbands, fore everyone else it's a cash bar." I could see that the bartender was embarrassed about the whole thing, but it certainly wasn't HIS fault. I guess I didn't make the cut of people that deserved a free drink. I felt like opening my envelope and writing a different amount on the check I gave them!

 

[bgirldeb]

Just when you thought you have heard EVERY SINGLE TACKY invitation here on the DIS.

I am nominating you for "Best Tacky Invitation" for the Dis-Oscars.

I agree! Unbelievably tacky!!

Thanks for the update, OP!

 

[tlbwriter]

When we got to the bar, the bartender asked to see our wrist. Huh? He didn't say anything at first, but when he handed me my drink he told me it would be $5.00! I said "Sorry, I didn't know it was a cash bar, and I didn't bring my purse with me". I then told him I would be right back and went to go get some money. When I got back the bartender apologized and said "it's only an open bar for the people with wristbands, fore everyone else it's a cash bar." I could see that the bartender was embarrassed about the whole thing, but it certainly wasn't HIS fault. I guess I didn't make the cut of people that deserved a free drink. I felt like opening my envelope and writing a different amount on the check I gave them!

You mean they had wristbands for some guests and not others? Yeah, that's way up there on the tack-o-meter.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

That really is incredibly tacky.

As long as we're talking tacky, I will share my tacky story with all of you. I'm pretty sure I've shared it before, but it is worth repeating.

My cousin's daughter was getting married at a fairly nice hotel in Chicago.They ceremony was held outdoors on a 96 degree day, and we were dying of heat and thirst. We anxiously went into the reception hall to cool off and get a drink. We put our stuff down at our table, then headed to the bar.

When we got to the bar, the bartender asked to see our wrist. Huh? He didn't say anything at first, but when he handed me my drink he told me it would be $5.00! I said "Sorry, I didn't know it was a cash bar, and I didn't bring my purse with me". I then told him I would be right back and went to go get some money. When I got back the bartender apologized and said "it's only an open bar for the people with wristbands, fore everyone else it's a cash bar." I could see that the bartender was embarrassed about the whole thing, but it certainly wasn't HIS fault. I guess I didn't make the cut of people that deserved a free drink. I felt like opening my envelope and writing a different amount on the check I gave them!

That is beyond tacky and falls into ignorant.

Heck, my envelope would have stayed in my purse.

 

[horseshowmom]

Just when you thought you have heard EVERY SINGLE TACKY invitation here on the DIS.

I am nominating you for "Best Tacky Invitation" for the Dis-Oscars.

I agree...

You mean they had wristbands for some guests and not others? Yeah, that's way up there on the tack-o-meter.

but this is a close second.


Honestly, to me it sounds like they will be expecting you to pay for the dinner. OP, I'm with your daughter, I wouldn't be available for this wedding.

 

[Queen2PrincessG]

Thanks for the update OP!

I wonder how many people will actually attend.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

but this is a close second.

That is not an invite. This falls under "Most Ignorant Reception".

 

[kamik86]

That really is incredibly tacky.

As long as we're talking tacky, I will share my tacky story with all of you. I'm pretty sure I've shared it before, but it is worth repeating.

My cousin's daughter was getting married at a fairly nice hotel in Chicago.They ceremony was held outdoors on a 96 degree day, and we were dying of heat and thirst. We anxiously went into the reception hall to cool off and get a drink. We put our stuff down at our table, then headed to the bar.

When we got to the bar, the bartender asked to see our wrist. Huh? He didn't say anything at first, but when he handed me my drink he told me it would be $5.00! I said "Sorry, I didn't know it was a cash bar, and I didn't bring my purse with me". I then told him I would be right back and went to go get some money. When I got back the bartender apologized and said "it's only an open bar for the people with wristbands, fore everyone else it's a cash bar." I could see that the bartender was embarrassed about the whole thing, but it certainly wasn't HIS fault. I guess I didn't make the cut of people that deserved a free drink. I felt like opening my envelope and writing a different amount on the check I gave them!

Wow... the only way that could have been ok would be if everyone was having an open bar (I think cash bar is ok if everyone has it though, never known a wedding with a full open bar in my area) but it was a set up like where my wedding was... where the bar is in a separate room from the reception and is actually a public area so the wristband would really just say "I'm with the wedding" and exclude random people from free drinks.

 

[castleview]

If it's a cash meal, I'd return the card with a nice little "Save THIS…"

 

[Jeafl]

You mean they had wristbands for some guests and not others? Yeah, that's way up there on the tack-o-meter.

Yep, upon closer inspection, it appeared to me that only the bridal party, close family and a few choice others got free drinks. The rest of us had to pay. Even for soft drinks and iced tea! There were a lot more payers than there were non-payers. Oh, and to add insult to injury, only the bridal party table got champagne for the best man's toast. The rest of us had to get our own.

 

[Jeafl]

Wow... the only way that could have been ok would be if everyone was having an open bar (I think cash bar is ok if everyone has it though, never known a wedding with a full open bar in my area) but it was a set up like where my wedding was... where the bar is in a separate room from the reception and is actually a public area so the wristband would really just say "I'm with the wedding" and exclude random people from free drinks.

Nope, it was a private ballroom at the hotel.

 

[mamacatnv]

Is it possible that the couple is having a wedding and no real reception?
Perhaps a ceremony followed by a visit to a local restaurant where the attendees are expected to buy their own meal?

I've never heard of such a thing but I was wondering if perhaps that is what is going on here.

Wrist bands???? That is a new one

 

[scrapquitler]

When I got back the bartender apologized and said "it's only an open bar for the people with wristbands, fore everyone else it's a cash bar." I could see that the bartender was embarrassed about the whole thing, but it certainly wasn't HIS fault. I guess I didn't make the cut of people that deserved a free drink. I felt like opening my envelope and writing a different amount on the check I gave them!

WOW, that is just about the tackies wedding thing I've ever heard. Let's have two classes of guests, and lets let everyone know about it!

 

[Melmac]

I have never heard of someone paying for their meal when guests at a wedding. Sounds like your daughter's friends need to elope. I would also have plans that weekend, even if it was just sitting at home doing nothing.

When we got to the bar, the bartender asked to see our wrist. Huh? He didn't say anything at first, but when he handed me my drink he told me it would be $5.00! I said "Sorry, I didn't know it was a cash bar, and I didn't bring my purse with me". I then told him I would be right back and went to go get some money. When I got back the bartender apologized and said "it's only an open bar for the people with wristbands, fore everyone else it's a cash bar." I could see that the bartender was embarrassed about the whole thing, but it certainly wasn't HIS fault. I guess I didn't make the cut of people that deserved a free drink. I felt like opening my envelope and writing a different amount on the check I gave them!

Wow. I have been to cash bar weddings (in which "cash bar" was written on the invite so we knew going in) but most weddings I have been to were full open bar for all guests.

As for your changing the amount you gave the couple, I know someone who does just this. When her and her DH are invited to a wedding, they put $200 cash in a card but don't seal it. When they get to the reception, if it is open bar, they seal then envelope and put it in the box. If it is cash bar, they remove $50 and use that money for their drinks that night. Not the way I would do it but it works for them.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

This thread justy popped in my head today, I had to come and find it. I had not seen the update. Wow!

Not the smae but a few years ago my grandparents were invited to a 50th Anniversary party. They had formal invites and was to be held at a very nice restaurant. They were all given regular menus to order. No one knew that at the end each couple would be given a bill for what they ordered. My grandparents are very frugal people, so they ordered what they normally would if they were paying but some people ordered big cuts of prime rib and fillets and appatizers and stuff and were mad when they got the bill. My grandparents were stunned to say the least at the bill, but atleast they had not gone crazy. The wife, who the party was for, for so embarassed she sent everyone checks for $50 in the thank yous. My grandma didn't cash hers, she said it wasn't her fault the daughter who threw it should have handled it better, but I guess her mom was quite mortified.