Wedding RSVPs not returned

[LizzyS]

This thread makes me *really* glad that I eloped.

 

[easyas123]

Honestly? I never really liked all the games played at showers (baby, wedding/couples/bridal, etc)

At my bridal shower we did not play games though we did have gifts to open. Most of it was spent talking with my family and my soon to be family and them to talk with each other

Ugh I hate them, too. I was a very chill bride (and new mom at my baby shower) but the one thing I requested - when asked what I'd like or prefer - was that there be NO games.

 

[kymom99]

Ugh I hate them, too. I was a very chill bride (and new mom at my baby shower) but the one thing I requested - when asked what I'd like or prefer - was that there be NO games.

I’m with you on the games. But this bride doesn’t appear to need a shower.

 

[shh]

This thread makes me *really* glad that I eloped.

Me too! We eloped and got secretly married in the MK with just a small group of friends. True story! (But don't try this now...was a few decades ago when WDW was easier going, before all the security issues).

 

[kaytieeldr]

Since it would involve a flight, rental car and hotel for 2 nights I am not sure if I want to go to the expense. I did send them a Nespresso Vertuo with an aerocinno attachment as a gift

I think @kymom99's suggestion is perfect.

My cousin got married in another state many years ago, so bad two receptions - one in each state. Both required RSVPs; I only had to give one gift even though I attended both, one as a bridesmaid.

I went to a local wedding with my now ex, at a historic church. Probably 200 people were invited to both, but only about a dozen went to the church. It wasn't a destination wedding in any sense. The ceremony was in Boston, and the reception four cities away.

I was irritated. No idea how the couple felt.

 

[tiggerluver12]

Guess we got lucky...my DD married her DH this past June. It was a destination wedding in Sedona, AZ. They only invited close family who they knew would attend, and very close friends who all but a few participated in the wedding. Overall there were about 40 guests. My DD followed up on the very few people who didn't respond to the RSVP - which you could have given to her via snail mail, e-mail, text or phone call...she didn't care. We only had 1 couple who RSVP'd yes, but didn't come because of a work issue at the last minute. EVERYONE had to to travel to be there. My DD and her DH were very smart strategically to only hold a wedding with the people who cared about them deeply enough to come. Oh...and they didn't ask for any gifts - just wanted to be surrounded by the people they cherished most.

 

[Sarahraegraham]

See, this is where I feel my personality suits me for dealing with this kind of crap. I had a small wedding, so I just called to invite people and got an instant yes or no. But if I was to do a big wedding this is what I’d do:

1) send out save the dates with a note of when official RSVP cards would be sent out and briefly stressing the importance of a prompt and accurate reply

2) send out RSVP cards with a deadline, along with a note stating that a YES reply is required in order to attend, and that there will be a doorman with a list . If you do not reply, you don’t get in. If you don’t attend the ceremony, you don’t get into the reception either. And if you reply YES but do not attend, you will be receiving an invoice for the cost I paid for your place.

Yes, I’m 100% that b***h. My wedding, my money, my day, my rules. Show some damn respect. It’s my day, and my guests: you know, those people who ACTUALLY care enough to take 60 seconds out of their lives to put down the phone and RSVP and show up to something this important to someone who thinks they’re important enough to invite. Those that don’t RSVP and show up should never have been invited in the first place, and I know who won’t be a priority in my life going forward.

Stuff like this jerks my chain, obviously lol. But yeah. That’s why my wedding was small. And if I did it again, it would be even smaller.

 

[Kestryl]

On a practical note, you should call, text, or message everyone who didn’t RSVP with a request to give you an answer by a deadline, or else you will assume they can’t make it. Ex. Hi Judy, unfortunately we haven’t received your RSVP for our event. Could you please let us know by Tuesday if you can attend, otherwise we’ll assume you can’t make it and we’ll miss you at the wedding.

We got responses from everyone this way, so we didn’t have to deal with extra people showing up. We had name cards and assigned tables, so the venue was ready to hold back anyone extra who didn’t RSVP and see if there were any extra spots from last minute no-shows.

Speaking of, we had several no-shows. One couple had literally had a premie baby the week before; another couple couldn’t come because the wife ended up at the ER; another pair didn’t come because one was undergoing chemo and had to go with how she was feeling. These were totally understandable.

I’m still holding a grudge against the couple that knew they weren’t coming because they couldn’t leave their dog alone. I wouldn’t have cared if they had RSVPed no. I did care that they RSVPed yes with no intentions of coming because they didn’t want to seem disrespectful for saying no. It was more disrespectful that we paid for them for no reason. Such a waste.

 

[kaytieeldr]

On a practical note, you should call, text, or message everyone who didn’t RSVP with a request to give you an answer by a deadline, or else you will assume they can’t make it.

You're too nice. I'd have just a note to the effect of, "We're sorry to learn you won't be at our wedding. We'll send you a link to the pictures!"

 

[serenitynow]

I thought of this thread because I just got a wedding shower invite that asked for "only money, no gifts", happened to run into the bride to be who told me she hates shower games, so they're not playing any, so now I don't feel like going, since there will be no gift opening and no game playing. All I can figure is that they're going to sit around drinking spiked punch and counting the cash in the envelopes!

But I did RSVP "no", I promise!

Terri

I attended a wedding shower last summer that had a similar theme, the bride wasn’t registered anywhere and on her Facebook page she made a joke about being registered with the US Mint as she didn’t want gifts, only cash. Her mother, when asked about her daughter’s wedding just referred everyone to her Facebook page.

I had to attend the shower (husband’s boss’s stepdaughter) and some people brought gifts anyway. As she was opening the cards and showing off the money and checks she was receiving, it was getting pretty gag worthy. Then she began opening the gifts, one of which was a beautiful gift bag. There was no card attached to the gift bag. The bride to be reached into bag and pulled out a clear glass brandy snifter with a one dollar bill inside.

It took about 45 seconds for the laughter to start. Someone had given her a tip jar! We never found out who it was either!

 

[easyas123]

Someone had given her a tip jar! We never found out who it was either!

That is spectacular!

 

[crazylady]

We had this situation when we got married. We didn't get a gift from DH's aunt. She is his Godmother and even did a reading at our wedding. She adores DH and adores me. Of course, I never asked her anything, but even after 11 years, I'm still perplexed by it.

The same thing happened to us. Eventually my aunt must have figured it out because a few years after our wedding we received a gift.

 

[crazylady]

We had two no shows.that I can remember from our wedding. One was legit, the other guy simply forgot and scheduled to work. The funny thing was he and the best man worked together. Mid shift, one of their co-workers say to him "hey, aren't you supposed to be at a wedding?"

 

[kaytieeldr]

Hey, OP! Any update on the responses? Did they all eventually arrive in time? Did you have to contact everyone?

Enquiring minds want to know

 

[Dakota731]

OP here. WE got a bunch of RSVPs late including a “maybe”!?! My daughter had to make ten calls with eight of them coming though two of those said not sure how many!
I’m anxious to see how many show and hoping we don’t have any surprise guests.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

32 extra people showed up to my nephews wedding reception a few years ago. They were aquaintances of the bride and groom who hadn't rsvp'd they were going and everyone assumed they were no's. It was a small reception building with a large outdoor space.

Once everyone was seated at their places (name tags at every table) and my sister realized there were all these extra people who were there she got them all outside and told them that since they didn't rsvp there wasn't enough food or a place for them inside, they could sit outside at the picnic tables and she'd order them pizza and afterwards they could come in for the dancing.

Some left but most stayed for the pizza, cake and dancing.

The bride and groom didn't know about it until they were back from their honeymoon and when I heard, I was pretty proud of my sister for finding a way to handle it. The brides family was too tipsy to even notice. LOL
Maybe next time they'll RSVP.

They did run out of cake and didn't have enough champagne for the toast because they came in for that but the cash bar was fine since most of them didn't drink.

 

[pearlieq]

OP here. WE got a bunch of RSVPs late including a “maybe”!?! My daughter had to make ten calls with eight of them coming though two of those said not sure how many!
I’m anxious to see how many show and hoping we don’t have any surprise guests.

Ugggh. This is why I don't entertain anymore. Someone who RSVPs "maybe" to a wedding better be 9 months pregnant or caring for an ill family member! Otherwise there's no excuse for that.

Good luck. I'm sure it will all come together and it will be a great wedding! And, if not, you'll at least have a good story to tell!

 

[Chickinvic]

32 extra people showed up to my nephews wedding reception a few years ago. They were aquaintances of the bride and groom who hadn't rsvp'd they were going and everyone assumed they were no's. It was a small reception building with a large outdoor space.

Once everyone was seated at their places (name tags at every table) and my sister realized there were all these extra people who were there she got them all outside and told them that since they didn't rsvp there wasn't enough food or a place for them inside, they could sit outside at the picnic tables and she'd order them pizza and afterwards they could come in for the dancing.

Some left but most stayed for the pizza, cake and dancing.

The bride and groom didn't know about it until they were back from their honeymoon and when I heard, I was pretty proud of my sister for finding a way to handle it. The brides family was too tipsy to even notice. LOL
Maybe next time they'll RSVP.

They did run out of cake and didn't have enough champagne for the toast because they came in for that but the cash bar was fine since most of them didn't drink.

I will never understand why people are so inconsiderate these days. Good for your sister in handling it so well.

 

[Sarahraegraham]

Saw this on Pinterest, and it made me think of this thread

 

[AnnaS]

Saw this on Pinterest, and it made me think of this thread

Too funny!!! Love it - I am sure there are some who will and can do this.