Wedding Question

[Becky2005]

I've never heard of a "guestbook attendant," although I do know that people are asked to stand by the guestbook to make sure everyone signs.

That's exactly what a "guestbook attendant" would be but I've never heard it called that. Just kind of a would you like to be in charge of the guestbook?

Usually in our family, it's been the case of wanting to include someone on the younger side in some way but not having them be a bridesmaid. Our guestbook person was the oldest daughter of our organist (DH's cousin, so I guess the guestbook is 2nd cousin?). She was that in-between age & we wanted to include her a little more than just being a guest, especially since DH has a small family and those were the only 2 family members of his that had parts in the wedding, so we wanted his family involved SOME.

At my sister's wedding, my best friend was the guestbook person! (long story on that, I think that was done for MY benefit due to the way it all worked out).

It's one of those positions, that if you don't have anyone no big deal but if you have someone that you would like to include in some small way more than just a guest, you offer them the guest book part. We always have gotten the guestbook person a corsage too, so they know we feel they are included in the wedding.

 

[budbeerlady]

I know in our neck of the woods its usually kids that do the guest book, I had a younger cousin do mine. She was 12 at the time and was only in 1 picture that I can remember.
I had a personal attendent that I did a few pictures with, it was kinda diff because HE didnt help me get dressed or anything. He just kept things calm and did little things to make my day easier. He recorded with the video camera for me, took some pictures for us, kept my flowers from being crushed, etc. My 2 best girl friends were my bridesmaids, I couldnt see Dh all day, it was great to have that outside person dig out my lipstick and keep all of us girls from going nuts!

 

[chamonix]

I think she meant personal attendant. You should definitely talk to her about what your "duties" might be though, so you are prepared, and there when she wants you there. Personal attendants can do lots of stuff, or nothing, depending on expectations of the bride. It is usually just a way (as mentioned upthread) of including someone who is not a bridesmaid, but is close to the couple enough to be included as "more than a guest". That's why it's largely a ceremonial role. (around here anyway)

My attendant helped me go the bathroom in that big ol' dress a couple times, and while I prefer to pay for most of the "help" at my wedding, that isn't one of the things I would contract out, lol.

Of course, my attendant was one of my longest, closest friends. She would have been a bridesmaid for sure, but I already had 6 and dh was running out of friends and relatives to balance it out! LOL

It's considered an honorary thing, and not a chore to be purchased or paid for. It's not like the bride is ordering them around like a slave or anything!

 

[Becky2005]

I know in our neck of the woods its usually kids that do the guest book, I had a younger cousin do mine. She was 12 at the time and was only in 1 picture that I can remember.

My best friend & I were teenagers when my sister got married. DH's cousin was 11, 12, 13 - in that range.

Maybe it's a Midwestern thing???

I would defintely ask but if it's an all day thing, I'm still voting with the personal assistance for the OP.

 

[Mickey02]

Sure sounds like a Bridesmaid to me too. I know you said she already picked her bridesmaids maybe one of the bridesmaids back out or is unable to be there. You should call your friend for clarification.

Keep us posted!!

 

[UrsulasShadow]

Some brides have a personal attendant that's not part of the wedding party. She would basically have an extra pair of panty hose, lipstick, nail polish etc in case the bride needed something.

Is this a paid position? Because if I asked a friend to do all this for me, and she wasn't part of the bridal party, I think I'd have one less friend.

Sounds like an extension of a Victorian lady's maid.

 

[TheGottis]

I don't know that I'd want to be a personal attendant (just my opinion tho), I'd rather be a guest at the wedding and enjoy myself. Best bet - call her and have her clarify.

 

[Enchanted Tiki Bird]

My attendant helped me go the bathroom in that big ol' dress a couple times, and while I prefer to pay for most of the "help" at my wedding, that isn't one of the things I would contract out, lol.

. . .

It's considered an honorary thing, and not a chore to be purchased or paid for. It's not like the bride is ordering them around like a slave or anything!

That was my understanding of what the maid or matron of honour was for.

 

[ImarriedGrumpy]

DH and I had a very small wedding, with only 2 bridesmaids/groomsmen. I had a very close friend who served as my "personal attendant" because I wanted her company throughout the day as we prepared for the wedding. I think it would be a role filled by my mom if she had been alive and we were still close, but I didn't have that option. My friend drove me to and from the hair appointment, and she prayed with me throughout the day. She was the only person the photographer would let come with us for the "couple" photos outside at a park, and she helped keep my dress from dragging in the dirt. She brought me food when I was hungry and helped me get into the dress (and hold it up while I went to the bathroom! )

All in all, she kept me focused and calm and served me because she loves me and she knew I'd do the same for her if she ever needed me. It wasn't a "victorian servant" sort of relationship at all - it was a close friend loving and serving on an important day. Honestly, I saw very little of my bridesmaids that day because they had duties to perform and places to be as much as I did. My personal attendant was the only one who was with me from the time I got up until the moment I walked down the aisle.

We did have a wedding coordinator who we paid and who had all the extra pantyhose, nail polish, pins, etc. in case of emergency, but my personal attendant was more of a companion and helping me focus on the important part of the day and not get stressed by details.

I think if the OP knows that the bridesmaids have been chosen, it sounds like the bride is asking her to be her personal attendant.

 

[aprilgail2]

That was my understanding of what the maid or matron of honour was for.

Yes that is how it works here too. The maid/matron of honor helps the bride get dressed etc....Never have I heard of or ever seen a "guestbook attendent" and honestly I would not be thrilled to be one from what I read...it is sort of like-you are not important enough to be in my wedding party but here I will give you this made up job of guarding the guestbook- no thanks LOL...maybe for a little kid that would be a really cool thing for htem but as something to pass off on an adult it seems rather silly.

 

[Enchanted Tiki Bird]

...it is sort of like-you are not important enough to be in my wedding party but here I will give you this made up job of guarding the guestbook- no thanks LOL...maybe for a little kid that would be a really cool thing for htem but as something to pass off on an adult it seems rather silly.

That's how I feel too. I mean, if you want to give someone a position of honor, put them in your wedding party. If not, don't give them a second-fiddle made-up job. I think I would be insulted if someone asked me to do be either a personal attendant or a guest book attendant. Either have me in your wedding party or don't.