Wedding Question-no drama!

[kwitcherkicken99]

1) Our wedding will be October 29, 2011, and all I know so far is that the reception cocktail hour starts at 6. The sunsets that day around 6:10pm We met with a photographer last night and when I mentioned I wanted the ceremony to be at 4:30, she kept saying we wouldn't have enough time for pictures...mainly lighting issues.
I photographed a wedding weekend over Labor Day and was constricted by an EXTREMELY tight schedule. We did not get everything done the bride and groom wanted to do.

Here was my schedule:
Sunday September 5th:
12:30 – getting ready
2:00 – arrive at church
4:00 – Ceremony Begins
4:40 – Ceremony Ends, receiving line
5:00 – Pictures begin at Church
5:45 – Pictures at Garden, Downtown, Bavarian Inn did not have time to do
6:30 – Bridal Party Entrance into Reception
6:35 – Cake Cutting
6:45 – Best Man Speech, Maid of Honor Speech, Prayer
8:15 –Bride & Groom’s First Dance begins
8: 20 - Father and Bride Dance
8:30 – Mother and Groom Dance
8:30 –Anniversary Dance (optional)

9: 40 – Bouquet and Garter Toss (optional)

This was my list:
At St. Lorenz After Ceremony
· Bridal Party up in the balcony - no time to do
· Bridal Party at the alter
· Immediate (bride) Family in front of Alter
· Extended Family (bride) in front of Alter
· Immediate Family (groom) in front of Alter
· Immediate Family (both) in front of Altar
· Extended (groom) Family in front of Alter
· (bride) grandparents with Bride and Groom
· (groom) grandparents with Bride and Groom

· Bride and Groom with (bride) Parents in church

· Bride and Groom with (groom) Parents in church

· Bride and Groom with (both) Parents in church

· All Siblings with bride and groom

· Just kids (bride)
· Just kids (groom) including BIL and nephew


Outside Church
· Bridal Party on front steps of church

· Bride and Groom near St. Lorenz sign - no time to do


Rose Garden - no time to do, skipped altogether
· Bridal Party in front of gazebo

· Bride and groom in front of gazebo

· Bride and Groom on bridge near river


Downtown
· Bride and groom at Mouse n’Cheese

· Bride and groom in front of Bavarian Restaurant


Bavarian Inn
· Bride and Groom at engagement site

· Bridal Party with covered bridge in background - no time to do


Reception
· Our Introduction
· Cake Cutting
· Each table of guests
· First Dance

· Band playing
· Father/Daughter & Mother/Son dance

· Winners of the bouquet and garter toss

· retrieving the garter

My concern is that I hate going to weddings and having ages in between the ceremony and the reception. The reception site is ~25 minutes from the church, so people would be there around 5:30, and the cocktail hour is at 6. It's at a hotel, so people would be able to head upstairs, freshen up, and then come back downstairs for the party.

Sometimes you have to allow for extra time to get everything done. I am a trained professional photog and I consider myself very quick at taking the group shots. If you really want to have wedding party photos at different locations, you need to allow 1 1/2 - 2 hours just for those. Outdoor lighting could pose a substantial issue since it gets dark so quickly in October. The quality of light falls so fast. However, there are a few tricks to fixing that problem, not everyone can handle it though.

Am I crazy?
No, you are not. You have legitimate concerns. What I think you would benefit greatly from, is sitting down with your fiance and start making a list of the photos YOU want. This will give the photog an idea of how much time is really needed.

Will I have horrible pictures because I'm having the wedding too late? I mean, what if it rains? Then we wouldn't have those outdoor pictures anyway... I guess what I'm asking is if you would move up the ceremony start time and if so, by how much?
No, you will not have horrible photos by doing things later in the day. The balancing of light will be better later in the day, but again, the light falls quickly.

If you are going to move the ceremony, I would go between 3-3:30.

2) Looking at albums that photographers put together...they're nice, but I don't know if it's worth it to be spending $500-1000 on an album when I can use Shutterfly or another online photo album site. The online one obviously won't be as nice, but is it worth that kind of difference?
Do you know anyone who scrapbooks? Maybe you could pay them to make one for you?

 

[suzannen]

ETA - I see you mentioned a receiving line. Are you planning to do it at the church? Most people I know do it at the reception. There's a new trend that some people do if their guests are seated at the reception. Instead of having the guests line up and walk by the couple, the couple goes to each guest and greets them during the reception. I really like that idea because I am not a fan of receiving lines.

My DD got married last month and that's exactly what they did. They mingled at the reception and then also went to every table once guests were seated to make sure they saw everyone, including older relatives who couldn't stand for long periods. Much more pleasant for the guests - no standing in line!

Her wedding was at 3:30 and her reception started at 6:00 pm.

 

[onelilspark]

Thank you so so much to everyone for your advice & words of wisdom. No surprise: I'm kind of new at this I really do appreciate everyone's words of wisdom. I know we'll definitely make some kind of album, but it sounds like it might be worth checking out some of the online options since it seems like it's kind of split whether or not to spend the money on an album from the photographer (we've met with 2 so far, the one's prices are $500, the other is $1000 for the same kind of album! So it might depend on who we go with too!)

As for the ceremony, I appreciate everyone's input there too (going to the bathroom! ah! I have to plan for that too!!) I don't know what dress I'll have yet, I've only looked so far, but I know I love big, long trains, so I'll have to allow for bustling too.

 

[Bren's Mom]

I had one other thing I thought of. We've had family weddings here in my area where almost everyone was from out of town. One thing that family members have done is have a 'lounge' room set up. It's usually one of the living room parts of a suite, if you have enough hotel rooms booked the hotel might even throw in one of these living room areas for free. If you're really concerned about your guests down time between the church and reception, but want to have enough time for pics...see if one of these rooms is an option.

Then have a trusted friend or family member leave the church and go straight to set it up with some cold munchies (cheese/crackers/fruit) and maybe a cooler with beer/wine/soda/water. Let all of the out of towners know they can hang out in the 'lounge' (let them know where it is).

 

[tlbwriter]

2) Looking at albums that photographers put together...they're nice, but I don't know if it's worth it to be spending $500-1000 on an album when I can use Shutterfly or another online photo album site. The online one obviously won't be as nice, but is it worth that kind of difference?

Are the digital files part of your package, or will you have to pay for them separately? If it will cost another $1000 to get those files, you may as well get the professional album.

 

[mjkacmom]

ETA - I see you mentioned a receiving line. Are you planning to do it at the church? Most people I know do it at the reception. There's a new trend that some people do if their guests are seated at the reception. Instead of having the guests line up and walk by the couple, the couple goes to each guest and greets them during the reception. I really like that idea because I am not a fan of receiving lines.

Really? Around here, you do a receiving line at the church, and the couple makes the rounds at the reception.

 

[onelilspark]

Are the digital files part of your package, or will you have to pay for them separately? If it will cost another $1000 to get those files, you may as well get the professional album.

Both of the photographers will provide the images on disc with re-printing rights.

 

[scrapquitler]

Really? Around here, you do a receiving line at the church, and the couple makes the rounds at the reception.

Same here.

ANd for the bride: keep in mind that if you go around individually to the tables at the reception (you'll want to do it right at the start of the reception before people start milling around and dancing, or you'll never catch everyone), there's a very good chance that you will miss dinner.

Dh and I went around to all the tables at the beginning of the reception, and by the time we saw all 130 guests, dinner was over...and we didn't eat a thing,

 

[golfgal]

Another thing to consider is your church may have a set time that weddings may need to be done by. I know in our church any Saturday wedding needs to be DONE by 3:30-so most are at 2:00. This is to allow the church time to clean up and get ready for Mass on Saturday night. Your church might have a time that you have to be done for whatever reason too.

 

[ChrizJen]

The one thing that you need to keep in mind is that this is your day. Do everything you can to make your guests comfortable, but don't sacrifice your own needs. I would most definitely move the ceremony up at least 30 to 45 minutes if possible. It's already going to be a stressful day. The last thing you need is to feel like you're rushing everything.

As for the photo book, if the photographers are willing to include digital copies with reprinting rights, most definitely do your own books!! That way you get to personalize them the way you want, and you save money. Photos are definitely not a place you'd want to skimp. But if that entire $500-$1000 is just for a book that you can do yourself for $30, that's ridiculous!! Save the money and do your own!!

And....CONGRATULATIONS!!!

 

[Rora]

You for sure want to have the proper lighting for photographs. Listen to your photographer-- he knows what he's talking about (probably!).

Many guests don't mind the time span.. some like to return to their hotel and freshen up, others enjoy the company of the guests at the cocktail hour, etc.

OP- have an early ceremony. You want great pictures! Also, if it's within your budget, get the album. You won't regret it!

Congrats!!

 

[Sarah_Rose]

Apparently we broke a lot of rules...

We did the vast majority of the photos (including the entire wedding party, bride and groom) before the ceremony. Our photographer first went to the groom's parents house (where the guys were getting ready) and did photos there and in surrounding parks, and then to the hotel where the girls were getting ready, and then we all got together and did a bunch of photos in various locations around town. If you and your fiance aren't concerned about seeing each other before the ceremony, I highly recommend this plan! In fact, it was really my favorite part of the day - we had the chance to just chill together and do some silly photos and get all of the "is my hair still perfect?" stress out of the way early.

We left an hour and a half between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception for photos; our ceremony and reception were at the same location, though, so there was no travel time. While I was being forced to climb a giant fountain in heels and a cathedral length train (the pictures turned out beautiful, though!), cocktail hour (technically cocktail 90 minutes) was going on and guests were served appetizers and the bar was open. I was not present for cocktail hour - I believe it's purpose is to entertain guests while photos are being taken?

However, one of our bridesmaids' boyfriend took it upon himself to get us some drinks and appetizers to snack on during the photos. He was the hero of the day. Make sure to designate someone in this role or to schedule some time to eat - I forgot to do this and we didn't eat at all between breakfast and our reception dinner!

We also didn't do a receiving line. I hate standing in line for them, and I really didn't want to do it as a bride. Instead, DH and I went around and made sure to talk to everyone at some point during the reception.

As far as the photo album, we also didn't pay for this. I did it through Blurb once we got the DVD with all the photos, and it turned out beautifully.

 

[manning]

Same here.

ANd for the bride: keep in mind that if you go around individually to the tables at the reception (you'll want to do it right at the start of the reception before people start milling around and dancing, or you'll never catch everyone), there's a very good chance that you will miss dinner.

Dh and I went around to all the tables at the beginning of the reception, and by the time we saw all 130 guests, dinner was over...and we didn't eat a thing,

Also drunk subjects are not pretty.... and hard to handle.

 

[LuLuO]

We had an early April wedding. Our ceremony was at 5:30 and the reception started immediately afterward from 6-10. We did photos before the ceremony. Our photographer gave us a CD of the high resolution photos with a copyright release. I printed up the ones I wanted and made books for the parents online, all through shutterfly.

 

[Disney Doll]

I got married on October 5th at 530PM and when I got out of church at 630PM it was too dark for outside pictures so all my pictures were taken inside the church.

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

ETA - I see you mentioned a receiving line. Are you planning to do it at the church? Most people I know do it at the reception. There's a new trend that some people do if their guests are seated at the reception. Instead of having the guests line up and walk by the couple, the couple goes to each guest and greets them during the reception. I really like that idea because I am not a fan of receiving lines.

My husband and I actually did both at the our wedding - did a receiving line at the church and then went around and greeted our guests during the reception. I'm glad we did a receiving line though because my grandfather was too sick to come to the reception so we were able to get pictures with him during that time. Sadly he passed away 2 weeks after we got married.

I had one other thing I thought of. We've had family weddings here in my area where almost everyone was from out of town. One thing that family members have done is have a 'lounge' room set up. It's usually one of the living room parts of a suite, if you have enough hotel rooms booked the hotel might even throw in one of these living room areas for free. If you're really concerned about your guests down time between the church and reception, but want to have enough time for pics...see if one of these rooms is an option.

Then have a trusted friend or family member leave the church and go straight to set it up with some cold munchies (cheese/crackers/fruit) and maybe a cooler with beer/wine/soda/water. Let all of the out of towners know they can hang out in the 'lounge' (let them know where it is).

We did something sort of like this. We actually used the church's social hall and had punch, cookies, pretzels, chips, etc set up for the guests who drove a distance to get to the wedding. It allowed those people time to enjoy the light snacks while we took pictures.

My ceremony began at 2:30 pm and I believe our cocktail hour started at either 4:30 or 5pm. Either way, we didn't get as many pictures taken as the photographer wanted.

I know many PP have said about buying the negatives. If that is an option, I would do that because then you'll have the pictures to treasure but can do with them what you see fit.

Enjoy your day! A year is going to fly by!

 

[bumbershoot]

If you live in the area that your wedding will be, in 2 days, get to that location (or around it) and really watch the light.

And when it comes to light, I might trust the photographer. It's part of their job, knowing the light. If they are local, they know just what the light does at various points during the day, and they've been to tons of weddings and know what tends to happen during them.

I don't know if it matters, but 80-90% of the guests will be from out of town. So it's not like they'll go home, or know what to do besides head back to the hotel. I guess that's why I don't want to have too much time in between the ceremony and the reception.

Important note: out of towners do not know where things are! I still don't know what happened, but we didn't end up with written directions to a friend's wedding, and we had to caravan (with a bunch of others who didn't have directions) following some of the local guests, to get from wedding to reception. Remember that people will get lost, people will want to stop for things, gas, last minute gifts/cards, feminine products suddenly needed etc etc etc. YOu have to give THEM time to get over there, too.

Thanks everyone, I guess we'll look at 330/4. I don't plan on being at the cocktail hour. As far as I'm concerned, that's not really meant for us.

I hadn't thought of how long the receiving line will take, we should have about 120-130 guests.

Make absolutely 100% sure that the reception site KNOWS that that they are NOT to be waiting for you! 2/2 weddings I've been to that were to have a cocktail hour had venues that felt VERY strongly that they needed to wait for the couple.

At one of the weddings, it took the couple (who had ZERO pictures taken before hand TWO hours after we all left the church) for them to get their pictures and get to the reception hall. That was not much fun without beverages.

At the other one, thankfully my husband had been at the church when I (b'maid) got there and had a chance to hear everyone talking about the way the reception was going to run. Then he got to the reception site almost before anyone (he had our 9 week old son, who was nursing as a normal 9 week old child would, and stuck close, but couldn't be there during pictures). And heard the venue people REFUSING to give access to the cocktail hour food and drink. Thankfully he was able to intervene, because he knew absolutely what was supposed to happen, knew the bride's father who was paying for it (and who is well known in our town), and was able to put the fear of Coach Z into the venue peoples' hearts. The couple never even knew. They would have known if Robert hadn't known, and hadn't been able to convince the venue people of it.

Receiving lines of that length take TIME. That's probably what the first wedding I mentioned had, and we were waiting in line a LONG time. Do not underestimate what all people might want to say to you! And if you have parents etc in the line with you, multiply the amount of time each person will spend talking with you by the number of people you have greeting.

IF the wedding starts immediately at 4:30, that means the flower/ring kids walking up, the b'maids, then you...all of that takes time. The vows, any bobbles of rings etc, recessional. Receiving line (takes time to organize!). Everyone finally leaves the church. Set up you two and family for pictures pictures pictures pictures. Every little bit takes TIME. If you start adding it up, you can see that the photog might be right. Especially since she's going by sunset, not just when you want to be at the reception site.

The photographer set it so that I came up behind DH and was able to capture his expression when he turned around and saw me for the first time that day.

Grr. I loved my photographer, and think he really knows his stuff. But he insisted that he had NEVER heard of doing it that way, and that THE thing to do was catch the bride approaching the groom. WHAT???? No. I mean, sure, I look smokin' hot in my gown with my corset all fresh and tight underneat, sucking in my waist, with an adorable expression on my face...but I have absolutely NO memory of hubby's face at that moment, and have no photograph of it (or of his face when I was walking down the aisle) b/c the photog thought that you're supposed to capture the bride, not the groom's face.

Lesson? Make SURE! I felt silly asking about such a basic basic shot, especially since his style was very photojournally, but they took time to set up having Eric behind hubby...I just figured Ana was behind me, but no.

Really? Around here, you do a receiving line at the church, and the couple makes the rounds at the reception.

Why would you do both?



Our schedule was very freeform, as wedding was in the garden and reception was in the meadow, with just a big magnolia tree in between...and a receiving line was sort of formed after the groomsmen took the chairs from garden to the tent (had to happen, I did NOT have the money to rent double the chairs, and I was so glad the groomsmen did it so FAST and efficiently! but they had done much much more DIY weddings before with others of their group, and they were almost professional). While the chairs were moved Eric was taking pictures of us...then we came out from where we were taking pix, and people just sort of lined up like a gauntlet (but in a good way) and we walked down the line, saying hi. It was pretty awesome.

Both of the photographers will provide the images on disc with re-printing rights.

Excellent!

ANd for the bride: keep in mind that if you go around individually to the tables at the reception (you'll want to do it right at the start of the reception before people start milling around and dancing, or you'll never catch everyone), there's a very good chance that you will miss dinner.

Very good point.



About the album...my photog had packages, no a la carte. So we had 2 parent albums and a big album included in the price. I our album. (the parents hate theirs...whatever. they feel a photographer should hold the camera at a normal angle, but photojournally people don't do that, and that's part of the $$$ he charges) Anyway, our album is huge and beautiful and we LOVE looking at it. DS LOVES looking at it, especially since he knows he was created just hours after the pictures were taken. I was 4 months pregnant and feeling huge and ugly and gross when we were picking the pictures for the album, and I cried seeing my relatively bitty waist in the pictures, but despite my misery, it was still an amazing time, and I LOVE my wedding album. We do keep it tucked away in its box in the hall closet, but that's to protect it. It gets hauled out semi-regularly!

And then later, about 5 years after the wedding, the photographer was willing to sell the CD and rights to the pix (not something he did before). And it was for only $200. Why so cheap? Because their building is in a warehouse district in Portland OR, and there was a big fire that year. The clients' photos were safe, as they were held elsewhere, but the photographer himself lost his own wedding photos, which weren't digital. No negatives, all gone in the fire. He got desperate to NOT have the responsibility for those images after that experience.

And then I made my own album on shutterfly, and I like that one, too! It's hard to have too many pictures of you and hubby looking pretty.

So ask your photographer possibilities if you can put your hands on the type of albums they make. If they do the kind that are huge, with various metal finishes etc etc, the ones that are imported from Australia I believe, if those are your style, IMO they are worth it. If they aren't your style, don't.

A former friend of mine had a photog who used Apple's photobook website and got a lovely album.

I did an album of other pix (not wedding) with inkubook.com; they use silk fiber paper for some of their books, and the book I got from them is beautiful.

There are all sorts of ways to go with pix.


Have fun!!!!! And buy a gown!