Wedding planning and disagreeing in-laws

[MsLeFever]

Maybe a small card inserted with the invitation that states something such as:

In order for guests with chemical sensitivity to be able to join us for this occasion, the Bride and Groom request that guests please refrain from wearing perfume or other scented products.

Excellent wording!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

This is where alittle common courtesy comes into play. Seems as though the in-laws are starting off on the wrong foot. Like many other posters said, the request may seem odd to most of us, but, to some its a health issue. Alittle insert in the invitations seems the only way to go with this. Hopefully, they'll be "allowed" to request "please,no perfume to be worn due to health reasons" and all will go well. If I received an invite with this, I wouldn't think anything of it and not wear perfume that day. It's really no biggie, unless the in-laws make it into one.

I agree completely!
But then all of us are older and wiser and know that a request to not wear perfumes is no biggie. It really is showing the families what an uncaring person the future MIL is and the hold she has on her dd. Scary, really. Hopefully the bride and groom put their foot down and tell the MIL the deal.

Now if said NO CLOTHES because the bride and groom were nudists, well OK, you got me there.

 

[golfgal]

I would print up the insert on the computer and put them in all the envelopes except the one for the in-laws, if you are sending them one and be done with it. They don't pay for anything and you did what was needed to be done to insure the entire family could be there.

 

[bgirldeb]

I would print up the insert on the computer and put them in all the envelopes except the one for the in-laws, if you are sending them one and be done with it. They don't pay for anything and you did what was needed to be done to insure the entire family could be there.

Good point! You could also have Kinkos do it for you on a paper that is similar to the invitations. That's how I did the maps to the reception to go with my invitations.

 

[Keggy]

I like the small insert card in addition to the invitation. I would not want wording on my invitations to say that, but see no problem with the insert. It doesn't even need to be bigger than a business card, but it should match the invitation, in color, font, etc.

Kelly

 

[ASFCurly]

I agree, I am VERY sensitive to perfumes, and other chemical scents, and while I wouldn't put it on the invite, I think an insert is totally appropriate, politely asking no perfume due to chemical sensitivities.

 

[ckmommy]

I like the small insert card in addition to the invitation. I would not want wording on my invitations to say that, but see no problem with the insert. It doesn't even need to be bigger than a business card, but it should match the invitation, in color, font, etc.

I agree with this. I (being the bride--maybe this is how FSIL felt) would NOT have wanted a statement telling people not to wear perfume on the invitation itself.

 

[Maleficent13]

I think it's kind of sad that this has to be put in the invitation at all. Not because I don't think it's an issue (I do), but because the people you invite to your wedding should be close enough to you that you ought to be able to just come out and say this to. IMHO, you shouldn't have to worry about whether or not something is going to offend your guests...if they're there, they're obviously close enough that you should be able to come right out with it in normal conversation over the course of the planning. Does that make sense? It's been a long day.

 

[Lisa F]

I agree with the insert idea but if they are not going to go for that, look into getting some air purifiers that can be placed on the table where the people with sensitivities will be sitting (also in their "row" for the ceremony). If it were my mom, wild horses would not keep her away from my wedding and she would do what she needed to do to be there. Sometimes it's easier to take care of your own surroundings than to make everyone else conform to you. Even if you DO do the insert, someone might not see it and might wear perfume and you need to be ready for that too.

 

[Rock'n Robin]

Maleficient I see your point, but in a bigger wedding sometimes people come who aren't "close" necessarily but may be blood relations, or the girlfriend of an usher, etc. My DH's great aunt and uncle on his dad's side came to my wedding--they were invited, but my ILs didn't expect them to come--they were great and very nice! But I never saw them again! On the other hand MIL's younger sister couldn't be bothered!
As for the OP,I like the insert idea too. I bet no one minds putting a "registered at Marshall Fields/Target/Bed, Bath and Beyond" insert in an invitation, so I'm sure an elegantly worded reminder not to wear perfume (bgirldeb did a GREAT job) would be fine.
I hope it works out for you!
Robin M.