Wedding Planner Yeah or Nay

[monkeyboy]

A co-worker of mine is getting married and I said NO planner and NO dj
get a band and do it yourself and save money!!

 

[themilesfamily]

If it's a medium to large size wedding get the wedding coordinator. It's overwhelming to plan a huge wedding. Also, if you don't have a mom or a close friend who will really pitch in and help out on the wedding day and at the reception -- get the coordinator. It's too much to do yourself, as a bride.

My wedding was huge and my mother lived out of town and really just wanted to attended the wedding as a guest -- she didn't have any interest in really hostessing it or helping me troubleshoot. So we did have a wedding coordinator. I'm glad we did.

 

[Miss_Mouse]

I didn't have a planner or coordinator. Our wedding was on the huge side (by my standards, at least) and I think everything went fine. Granted, my fiance was interested in helping out. We did quite a bit of it by ourselves - invitations, rather labour intensive favours, etc. The thing we needed the most help with was the decorating of the reception venue. Thankfully, our bridal party and family were absolutely fantastic and extremely helpful.

IMO, the decision on planner vs. no planner depends entirely on the couple. If they're very hands-on and decisive then a planner may create more stress. In this case, a day-of coordinator would be best. The one place a planner can be very useful is in working directly with vendors to save the couple money. I'm sure your coworker will do what's best for them.

Oh, and we went with a DJ for the exact opposite reason that you recommend against them - it was a huge savings compared to getting a band!

 

[bumbershoot]

Bands are by no means always cheaper than DJs.

But let me tell you...DJ vs band caused the biggest, hugest, nastiest fight during DH and my engagement. It's fraught with danger if people have opinions inside of the relationship. If I were you, I'd stay out of it. Especially b/c bands aren't always less than DJs.

(for the record, we got an Irish band who had such a short set-list that they ran through their songs twice, and they did our first dance song starting on a weird beat so hubby and my practice dance couldn't get started right and we never recovered and ended up just swaying which was NOT what we had practiced to do)

As for wedding planners, not everyone has family or close friends who can really help deal with things during the day. We ended up with less than 100 guests, so very few people would think I needed a planner (I wanted one but was scared to find out how much they would be), but we had all the "personal flowers" for family sit next to the band the whole wedding and reception long, I had to tell the servers to cut BIG slices of the cake b/c the baker makes cakes big enough to have HUNKS, not slivers, and there were some other little things I either had to deal with or *no one* dealt with which was a bummer. I wished I had a planner to help with those things (and for when my drunk maid of honor stepped on my bustled train and ripped out the ties, but had left the safety pins (in the "emergency kit" a friend had given me) back at the hotel. Had to carry train over my arm the rest of the (100 degree) day (outside with only 2 fans).

 

[supercarrie]

I had a "day of" coordinator, not a full wedding planner, and it was the best decision I made. She attended the rehearsal (and showed everyone what to do), and took care of all set-up, clean-up, and all the misc little details that otherwise my husband and I would have been bothered with. She also came over 5-10 minutes before each "event" at the reception to give us a warning, and make sure our drinks were filled, that I ate, etc. She did a lot more as well - people raved about her, and she even partied afterwards with the groomsmen! I was so happy to hand this over to her and let all of my guests and family enjoy themselves.

A small extravagance (cost $350) but worth far more.