wedding gifts

[cluvsdisney]

I've never been to a wedding where I had any idea how fancy it would or wouldn't be in advance, except for my own of course. I can just picture someone getting to a reception and at the last minute adjusting the cash they have in the card because the settings are nicer than anticipated or the chicken is dry

My parents went to a wedding once where there was hardly any food (crackers, sandwiches, cake) served with liquor but no mixers (juice or soft drinks) and tap water. My mother said people were hammered because they were drinking straight liquor and there was barely any food. My father said he wished he put cash in the envelope instead of a check but that they saw so many people adjusting their gift.

As for how fancy it will be, guests can get an idea by the venue as mentioned above. Someone getting married in a castle is going to have a fancier wedding than someone getting married at the American legion hall. Both will be lovely, but there will be a difference in fanciness.

 

[ronandannette]

I agree.

$300-$400

That would be A LOT for some people to come up with...curious about this though: If for some reason you couldn't afford that amount would you decline the wedding invitation? I'd have been very sad if any of my loved ones had stayed away from my special day for that reason. Wanting them to share it with me was why I invited them!

 

[Gumbo4x4]

As for how fancy it will be, guests can get an idea by the venue as mentioned above. Someone getting married in a castle is going to have a fancier wedding than someone getting married at the American legion hall. Both will be lovely, but there will be a difference in fanciness.

My sister definitely had the fanciest location of any reception I've ever attended. It was also the cheapest - $0. My aunt called in a favor I've also been to many where the food was skimpy, but the locale snazzy. Others where the hall was simple, but they went all out on food & drink. So, I still really like the idea of choosing the gift based on relationship rather than "covering a plate".

Plus, around here the tradition of the bride's family covering the reception is still very much in play. But, the gifts are for the bride & groom. So, it would seem odd around here to reward or penalize the couple since they're not paying for it anyway.

 

[DWGal210]

I give more to family and close friends than acquaintances. I haven't been to a wedding in a few years but I've typically done $100 for family and $50 for everyone else.

 

[mjkacmom]

Plus, around here the tradition of the bride's family covering the reception is still very much in play. But, the gifts are for the bride & groom. So, it would seem odd around here to reward or penalize the couple since they're not paying for it anyway.

Trust me, that tradition is still here, as well. Most couples I know did not pay for their wedding - who pays for the wedding has nothing to do with the amount of the gift.

 

[Clio]

My daughter got married on Saturday. Her husband and her got anywhere from $20 to $300 along with a few gifts. They also got $800 in Disney gift cards from various friends. We did not serve alcohol because the reception was in a historic building and our town wouldn't allow it which was just fine. the food was from a local Italian place and was very good.
Liz

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Trust me, that tradition is still here, as well. Most couples I know did not pay for their wedding - who pays for the wedding has nothing to do with the amount of the gift.

But, who pays for the wedding does typically dictate the amount spent. When my friends were all getting married, some had dirt poor fathers, and some were quite the opposite. If anything, "if" I allowed that to dictate my gift, I'd give more to the poorer couple than to the one who's dad owned a chain of restaurants - even if the latter had the nicer reception.

 

[mjkacmom]

But, who pays for the wedding does typically dictate the amount spent.

Maybe where you live, but not here. Actually, it is common to give what you got. If my sister gave dd $500 for her wedding, I would give my niece $500. Therefore, I wouldn't give a more expensive gift to someone with little money, because they might then feel obligated to do the same for a wedding in my family.

 

[scrapquitler]

I live in CT. We generally give $200 if it is someone close to us, like a fairly close family member or friend. If it were someone REALLY close (like a sibling) we would probably give more like $500. Someone who is more of an acquaintance would get something more like $100-$150 (but we would likely not even go to a wedding for someone who was only an acquaintance, so it might be a moot point)

edited to add:
as for cash vs. gift - I wouldn't even think to give a gift other than cash for the wedding. The shower is for gifts (almost always straight from the registry) and the wedding is for money gifts in a card.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Spend what you can afford and how much you think the couple deserves based on their socio-economic status (ie if they are already rich, get them something cheap and vice-versa) and your relationship to them.

But then again, I don't pay attention to social conventions.

 

[Mazel]

If I had to guess who paid for the wedding, I'd probably be wrong every time. My daughter is getting married next month and we're not paying for it.
I brought her dress. They're paying for the rest.

We just went to a my husbands cousin's wedding. Have no clue who paid for it. We gave what we could afford.

 

[2princesses3princes]

I'm in WI. We give around $50 for a wedding. More if we are close to them, but honestly when everyone we are close to got married we were young and poor! I stood up in a wedding a couple years ago and spent close to $1000 on the dress, etc. I only gave $50 for the wedding and felt like that was too much. Esp. since she has not called me once since the wedding.

 

[JillianLeigh]

DH and I will usually give $200. The only time we gave less was when it was a destination wedding that DH was standing up in which required tux rental, air, hotel, car rental, and ski lift tickets. Neither the groom nor bride were from where the wedding was held. They just liked to ski and chose a Park City, Utah wedding.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Maybe where you live, but not here. Actually, it is common to give what you got. If my sister gave dd $500 for her wedding, I would give my niece $500. Therefore, I wouldn't give a more expensive gift to someone with little money, because they might then feel obligated to do the same for a wedding in my family.

I think I worded that poorly - what I meant was "who pays for the wedding dictates how much is spent on the wedding (not the gifts)". If you come from money, the odds of you having a lavish wedding/reception are obviously increased.

 

[Hollymom1229]

DH and I typically give $75 or a gift in that range to friends, $100 to cousins and close friends, and $150 to immediate family members. Doesn't matter the venue, what's served to us, or the location.

 

[DeaverTex]

I'm old and cheap, and my notions of how much of a cash gift for a wedding were established when Mrs. Tex and I got married in 1976. $25 bucks for miscellaneous folks, $50 bucks for close family or friends and maybe $100 for siblings (either real or "heart" siblings).

 

[JohnsPrincess]

We pretty much give 50$ for wedding and baby shower. We don't usually give cash/gift cards but spend that on items on their registry unless I know they'd rather get a gift card. For weddings of family, I try to also make an afghan which is pretty expensive, lol.

 

[mjkacmom]

I'm old and cheap, and my notions of how much of a cash gift for a wedding were established when Mrs. Tex and I got married in 1976. $25 bucks for miscellaneous folks, $50 bucks for close family or friends and maybe $100 for siblings (either real or "heart" siblings).

You do realize that in 1976, that $50 would be over $200 today, with inflation, and that $100 would be over $400 today. So, you were generous, and just got cheaper as the years went on.

 

[DeaverTex]

You do realize that in 1976, that $50 would be over $200 today, with inflation, and that $100 would be over $400 today. So, you were generous, and just got cheaper as the years went on.

That's my excuse, then. Thanks!