Wedding gift question if you are doing a "job" for the wedding

[ADisneyQueen]

We were invited to a wedding for a person who works with my DH. Groom also asked my DH to give a planetarium show to his out of town guests after the reception. This will take up several hours of DH's time( and he does not have much) to do this and he normally only gives the shows for scout or school groups. Do you think if someone does something at your wedding ( sings, plays an instrument) and is not a family member or close friend, they should still give a wedding gift, give something that isn't as expensive, or nothing at all? We are leaning towards giving half of what we usually spend.

My friend sang at our wedding and we insisted she not buy us anything. Just curious what others think.

 

[FireDancer]

I have made photo and/or video slideshows for many of my friend's weddings and it never effected the gift I gave them. I was never asked by someone who wasn't a friend though so I'm not sure if it would be different if it was merely an acquaintance.

 

[luvmy3]

I would not give less in that case, if it was a private show for just the bride and groom I may comnsider that part of their gift.

 

[NotUrsula]

I think that if the "job" is your professional services (not something you do as a hobby, but something you normally get paid to do, and that the couple would normally pay a professional to do) then that "job" counts as your gift. If you want to give an additional token gift, that's a nice gesture, but I don't think that it is required at all.

Several people in my family happen to be involved in various aspects of the wedding industry. When we give a friend a freebie, that's our gift.
(Wedding photos, sewing a bridal gown, doing the floral arrangements, providing a limousine, singing, etc.)

 

[DSNY4ever]

I just made a friend's wedding cake and I didn't get them a gift. They paid me for the ingredients plus a little more (I didn't charge them much for my work). The cake took me 22 hours and I had to take a day off of work to do it, so I figured that was enough! If I was a professional baker and they paid me for the cake I would have gotten them a gift.

 

[LilyWDW]

When we get married, if we do something traditional and with all family involved, I am going to ask my cousin to make my cake. I 100% expect that this would be her "gift" to me even though I will also pay her for it. I would also like to ask for her to be my matron of honor. I would NEVER expect more then that cake and her presence.

 

[BrerMama]

I was told I was going to take wedding photos for my husband's nephew's wedding. I am not a photographer, just enjoy taking pictures, and I don't have a professional camera. I still put a lot of time and work into my photos and getting my family ready for the wedding, including buying the flower girl dress for my daugther, purchasing wedding music from iTunes when the bride insisted on a traditional wedding march and the wedding planner (my SIL) didn't have the particular version she wanted. I made the wedding couple a bound book with their photos. That's all we got them. No other gift. Probably tacky, but that's all we could swing (since the wedding was held on Christmas Day and we were told less than 3 weeks before the wedding of our parts in it).

I did buy them a gift for their new baby when he arrived this summer.

 

[funkychunkymonkey]

My best freind asked me to play my tribal flute at her wedding. I hate playing in front of huge crowds so this was a huge deal. I also had to buy new music. I did buy her a small gift but my playing was my main gift.

 

[johnsontrio]

We were invited to a wedding for a person who works with my DH. Groom also asked my DH to give a planetarium show to his out of town guests after the reception. This will take up several hours of DH's time( and he does not have much) to do this and he normally only gives the shows for scout or school groups. Do you think if someone does something at your wedding ( sings, plays an instrument) and is not a family member or close friend, they should still give a wedding gift, give something that isn't as expensive, or nothing at all? We are leaning towards giving half of what we usually spend.

My friend sang at our wedding and we insisted she not buy us anything. Just curious what others think.

Wait! How can the out of town guests be going to a Planetarium show when etiquette dictates that they must be invited to the rehearsal dinner? Oh, nevermind..... Another thread, another DIS day...

The family that made our wedding cake attended the wedding and reception and that was their gift. Your idea of giving half is generous, IMHO, but either way, I'd be sure to bring a card so that they don't think "you forgot".

 

[Rora]

IMO-- if you're doing your "professional job" then it counts as a gift.

Honestly, if I were in your shoes, I'd give a very small gift. A nice card and maybe something on the less expensive end of their reigstry or simply a small amount of cash.

 

[emma'smom]

I think a small gift is appropriate-- maybe even something fun and planetarium related that they could use in their home. You could add a note saying something like "To remind you of your wedding day! It was out of this world!"