Wedding Drama

[FutureMrsF]

Hi

Some of you may recognise my name as I post occasionally and ask lots of questions.

I have been lurking on the boards for years now waiting for my turn, reading all your great PJ's and lovely TR's, knowing one day I could post my own.

DF and I don't have lots if money and I had a less than perfect credit record, we have worked hard over the last few years to correct that so we could save up for the Florida vacation of a life time with our kids, my sis and my parents and we were going to apply for a loan to cover the Disney wedding I have always dreamed of whilst we were there.

I can honestly tell you I never thought that would happen, however on Saturday I was accepted for the loan I nearly passed out which meant our dreams were finally coming true and we could finally after 9 years of being engaged get married on 14th May 2013 in Disney.

I thought I could finally start my own PJ today after conctacting Disney to pencil in our date and get the ball rolling however.........

My mum dropped the bombshell today that she doesnt think her and my dad can now afford to go to Disney ( even though we have been planning and talking about this for 5 years). So if we want to get married in Disney we wont have any family there.

I hope you all don't think i'm being selfish I love my mum and dad so much but after never thinking our dream was possible to getting the loan and finally having it in our reach I am left totally devastated.

We can get married here in the Uk with the money so at least we are married but I am so sad and Df keeps saying he doesnt want that he wants me to have the fairytale iv'e always dreamed of

Sorry for ranting I just have no one else to talk to that would understand

Thanks Ladies
x

 

[JKMJ441724]

Sorry for the drama....

As for me, I know my family would understand if I scooted off to WDW and got married (without them). As a family, we have a lifetime of days to spend together. I would understand if they couldn't come, the same way they would understand if I went without them.

You are the one who knows your family best. I wish you the best of luck and a lifetime of happiness with DF.



PS: A lot could change for them in a year's time....

 

[DixieBelle]

Agreed! Lots can change in a year. Some of the packages Disney offers in the UK are really cheap. And the exchange rate is soooooo far in the pounds favor. Keep working on the issue, don't give up yet.


If the year ends with your parents still unable to come, IMHO you should not feel guilty about getting married at WDW. You deserve to be happy too. If this is what you truly want, for you and your family, do it. Good Luck!!!

 

[Mama Who]

Is there wiggle room in your dream? Is there a piece of your fairytale wedding that is less important than having your parents there? Maybe you can cut out a coach ride or a string quartet or some frill and redirect that bit of the budget to helping your parents meet their costs.

 

[CinderALLIE]

My opinion is to just go ahead and get married at Disney without them. You struggled and worked hard to acheive your DFTW dream so shouldn't give it up plus you gave them plenty of notice.

My partner and I aren't engaged yet but both our parents know I am getting married at Disney LOL. My Mum and his parents said they would be there but I know the rest of our families won't come. I am fine if my Dad and our siblings choose not to come as it's my wedding day and I shouldn't have to sacrifice my dream and neither should you.

 

[fireofmarajade]

Oh no! Listen to what YOU want/need for your day. How important is Disney? Now that I have started to make these plans... I would be crushed if i couldn't go through with the WDW wedding. I could certainly cut back on things for costs and as someone suggested, redirect money to help family come but .... I am only getting married once. I hope you get whatever it is that you want in the end.

 

[elaine amj]

Perhaps an alternate celebration before or after in the UK where your parents can play a prominent role?

I got married 3 times in three different countries to accommodate all our wants and families.

((hugs)) for the wedding of your dreams!

I understand your frustration that now it looks like your parents can't come. But if they are paying their own way, they need to be able to decide for themselves whether or not they can afford such an expensive trip. If they can't, then you have to decide for yourself if your dreams will be the same without your parents there. Only you can decide what your dream wedding looks like, what you can sacrifice and what are must-haves.

 

[Evi]

If I were in your shoes this is what I would do.

Have a fab low key wedding in a castle you should be able to do so for a low cost I've seen lots of advertising for castle wedding elopement packages in UK. Do this with your family and have your princess wedding in a real castle with a disney theme or you could have simple legal ceremony only two of you and go to Disneyland Paris they will let you have a ceremony though its not legal (hence legal wedding in UK) and family reception. You can do this and still honeymoon in Disney world and save the cost of getting married in the world.

 

[halloween12]

Awwww sweetie
I'm not sure if you have seen my PJ. But we are based in the UK and have just booked our wedding with Disney for this Halloween.
It will be just my Fiance, my 2 kids and I.
We did tell all our family and friends that if they wanted to come that they would be very welcome, however we would totally understand if they couldnt afford it and we would have a massive party when we get back in November...

None of them could afford it... and we have grown to be more than happy with this.
It means that we could opt for the Memories package (the vegas style disney wedding), which was much cheaper and much more our style, which in turn free'd up extra cash for other things (we are going to swim with dolphins at discovery cove the day after our wedding for example).
It also means that we can totally suit ourselves and do the things that are important to us without having to go with other peoples agenda's. We are treating this as a wedding, honeymoon and holiday of a life time for us and our kids and we will struggle to do all the things that we want to do in the 2 weeks that we have. And lets face it we will never be able to afford this again so we need to fit in as much as we can.

This is your dream, so hold on to that

 

[TabZ]

Can you 'do the deed' in a registry office with your family, go out for a nice meal after, then still have the wedding in WDW? It would technically be a vow renewal but at least you won't have to worry about the paperwork in the states!! xx

 

[Pinkgirl]

I honestly think you should go with your dream. You have been dreaming about this for five years and everyone knew what your dream was. Dont let you parents shatter your dream.

Is it only now, that you have the money available to you that they have changed their minds? Have they gone along with your dream for five years not expecting you to be able to reach out and grasp it?

Follow your heart and your fairytale.

 

[YouLoveJulianne]

I'm sure the thought of getting married without your parents isn't exactly your dream wedding (I know it wouldn't be mine!) but I agree with these other girls and say you should scoot off to WDW have have a small gathering of whoever can make it. Even if its just the two of you, who cares?! You don't want to regret it your whole life that you didn't obtain your dream when it was so close in your grasp.

Both my DF's grandparents and my grandmother cannot make the trip to WDW either, so we are planning on having a small church ceremony and family gathering/BBQ about a month after we return home from WDW so that they could all be there and we could celebrate with them. Maybe you could do something similar either right before you go to WDW or shortly after you return? Just a suggestion... hope it all works out for you! Good luck!

 

[Fonz86]

We are from the UK and didnt expect any of our family to afford it but went ahead and booked anyway. Yes it is very nice to have everyone there but at the end of the day it is your day (the 2 of you) nobody elses.

As it happened everyone we asked have found the money and are coming out. We have ended up paying for my sister and his best man to come which has literally broke the bank but we are getting there slowly.

I say have the dream wedding you really want

x

 

[Bewitch324]

Oh, sweetie, my heart aches for you!!! I'm sure this must be so painful!

BUT--I totally agree with what many others have said. You have worked so hard and come so far to achieve this dream, I think you would regret it for the rest of your life if you didn't manage to capture at least a piece of the dream for yourself.

Only you know what that means...if that means a tiny memories wedding at WDW with just you and your fiance with a great honeymoon and a party back home a few weeks later....

Or if that means a bigger celebration at WDW as you originally planned but your parents are there via somebody's IPad...or watching a live video feed...

Or if that means you trim some of the elements you were planning so you can help your parents fund their trip....

Only you know what will keep your dream meaningful and special and memorable.

Unfortunately, the fairy tales never focus on what we have to give up to get the dream....seems like there is always something that has to be sacrificed...but hopefully you and your fiance will find a way to make your dreams come true, even if it's not EXACTLY what you originally hoped for!

Good luck!
Brooke

 

[amylock]

We have had several guests drop out dueto cost, and my fiance's dad had to cancel due to health issues. While I am a bit sad, Yuri keeps reminding me this is about US!

What we have arranged is for the wedding to be broadcast live over the web!! It wasn't too expensive, and our friends and his dad will get to see it! Perhaps that is something you could do?

 

[FutureMrsF]

Thank you all so much. Your messages have meant a lot especially being past/present Disney brides.

It is going to be a hard decision to make.

On one hand the reason I love Disney so much is I was fortunate as a child for my parents to take me a few times so I don't think it would be the same without them.

On the other hand my little girl is looking forward to dancing with mickey as much as I am.

It's tough but we will have to decide what is most important to us

Why can't fairytales be as simple as the movies. I have my prince charming I just want to marry him now and have our happily ever after with our daughter

Thanks again x

 

[tinkerbell 766]

If I were in your shoes this is what I would do.

Have a fab low key wedding in a castle you should be able to do so for a low cost I've seen lots of advertising for castle wedding elopement packages in UK. Do this with your family and have your princess wedding in a real castle with a disney theme or you could have simple legal ceremony only two of you and go to Disneyland Paris they will let you have a ceremony though its not legal (hence legal wedding in UK) and family reception. You can do this and still honeymoon in Disney world and save the cost of getting married in the world.

Really???? I thought Disneyland Paris did not do weddings of any kind at all!!!!!

 

[disneemama]

I would go for it, you will never regret a Disney wedding. YOU need to follow your dreams. Good Luck with everything.

 

[RubySlippers]

http://www.disneyweddingblog.com/2010/04/how-to-get-married-at-disneyland-paris.html

 

[Evi]

http://www.disneyweddingblog.com/2010/04/how-to-get-married-at-disneyland-paris.html

I was just about to post this =)

Based on the article it sounds like having a vow renewal is easy to do.