smartestnumber5
<font color=blue>Then it's just a fun time<br><fon
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2006
- Messages
- 2,933
I have a big Italian family and there are a number of 2nd cousins and such of mine around my age (20s) who have recently gotten married or are getting married soon. Since the family is large weddings are usually large and those getting married can make a good deal of money from the wedding gifts (as well as wedding shower gifts) and all that. In addition to the financial benefits, there's also a definite air of respectability (like, you're really an adult now I guess) that comes with a wedding.
My gf and I have been speculating about how--at some date probably a few years in the future--we can cash in on the money (we're a poor grad student and poor going back for a second more practical BA student--it would be pocket change to some but to us it could be part of a down payment on a house or something) and the respectibility. Of course, we could have a wedding. Except, neither of us actually wants a wedding or a marriage--which is not to say we don't want to be in a committed long term relationship--just that we have issues w/ marriage and even more issues w/ traditional weddings.
Right now we live in a state where same-sex marriage isn't legal and there are no state domestic partnership options, although we have already become domestic partners in our city in order to obtain health insurance benefits and all the ceremony that took was the signing of a piece of paper. So it's not like there are any actual legal benefits we could get from having a wedding or some kind of commitment ceremony. And I'm not sure there's all that much emotionally that we're looking for from it either. Really it's about the presents, the respectibility, the fact that my huge family will probably never even be forced to hear that my gf exists if there's not some event we have and they come to, etc. Really what I want to do is send out invitations saying "everyone in this family throws a big party and walks away with $5-10,000 and lots of them end up doing it again after their first divorce--I should get the same deal as they do!"
So the question is, how do I get that deal? Should we fake a wedding? Have some type of commitment celebration which is as untraditional and unwedding like as we can make it? Should we "elope" and then send out announcements, thus essentially requiring them all to send presents?
My gf and I have been speculating about how--at some date probably a few years in the future--we can cash in on the money (we're a poor grad student and poor going back for a second more practical BA student--it would be pocket change to some but to us it could be part of a down payment on a house or something) and the respectibility. Of course, we could have a wedding. Except, neither of us actually wants a wedding or a marriage--which is not to say we don't want to be in a committed long term relationship--just that we have issues w/ marriage and even more issues w/ traditional weddings.
Right now we live in a state where same-sex marriage isn't legal and there are no state domestic partnership options, although we have already become domestic partners in our city in order to obtain health insurance benefits and all the ceremony that took was the signing of a piece of paper. So it's not like there are any actual legal benefits we could get from having a wedding or some kind of commitment ceremony. And I'm not sure there's all that much emotionally that we're looking for from it either. Really it's about the presents, the respectibility, the fact that my huge family will probably never even be forced to hear that my gf exists if there's not some event we have and they come to, etc. Really what I want to do is send out invitations saying "everyone in this family throws a big party and walks away with $5-10,000 and lots of them end up doing it again after their first divorce--I should get the same deal as they do!"
So the question is, how do I get that deal? Should we fake a wedding? Have some type of commitment celebration which is as untraditional and unwedding like as we can make it? Should we "elope" and then send out announcements, thus essentially requiring them all to send presents?