Website blockers?

[LittleRydia]

Im needing some adive, and perhaps ideas as to what to do with my boyfriend.

I have a computer, I only paid 500 for it but its a decent computer. I never had spyware, viruses trojan etc or anything on it before untill my BF started getting on it.

I know he does, I know how to check but yet he keeps lieing when I ask have you been to any *adult* sites. I guess he thinks im stupid? even when I show him the link I found and the site he says " I didnt go there!" Well month ago, computer got so bad it wouldnt even run right anymore. So I toke it in to be cleaned etc and got some good protection software. He offered to pay for "half" the cleanup which was nice, since I belive it was his fault to begin with.

Well now im desperate, to keep him from being able to go to sites without me knowing. I found on IE were you can put a block, and before viewing any page it as to be approved with a password. This worked for about 24 HRs, untill he finally guessed the password I was entering for him when I did approve the site he was on. he just left to the store, I checked my history and found three more adult sites in the files . I ran a scan, and thank god only a few spyware, no viruses.

I changed the password, but its only time before he gets around it again. I want to know if there is anything online I can get that will block adult sites for good. He is going to be questioned when he gets home, but as always he will get defensive and say he didnt do it.

Can someone please help me with this problem? and is this really normal for any guy? im 21, and hes 27. we have been dating almost a year and only get to see each other 2 days a week since we both work a lot. could it be me? is it something im doing/not doind that could make him want to go to these sites? It really does hurt my feelings knowing, im sitting right there across the room and he goes to these for enjoyment and not seeing me about these problems. Maybe im just over reacting i dont know, but I would like a guys point of view on this. thanks!

 

[Frantasmic]

Get a password he cannot guess.


A36b25C16d9E4f0

Then kick him to the curb. It's not you, it's him.

The main problem is continuing doing this on your computer knowing you have a problem with it, including guessing your password.

 

[MsLeFever]

I'm sure there are "parental controls" to severely limit his ability to access "adult" sites.

But, (and this is a big but), do you really want to get into a parental relationship with you? It sounds like you are the Mom and he is the nasty teen. The lies could be a tip-off about the future. I know this isn't the advice you were after but I'd call it quits. He abuses your welcome, your computer and your feelings.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I have Net Nanny on one of our computers.

But it's for my daughter.

And she's 16.

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

There is nothing wrong with looking at adult sites.

There is everything wrong with your boyfriend doing that on your computer and then lying about it.

If it bothers you that he looks at them you need to decide if you can live with this *flaw* of his.

The lying is something else all together.

You can create a user profile to completely block access but I think you have bigger fish to fry.

And for what it's worth, the best passwords are 8+ characters with numbers, letters, caps and lower case. (Similar to what Fantasmic showed you).

 

[Golf4food]

LittleRydia, your private message box is too full for me to send you a PM. Please clear some space and contact me. I can provide some useful information for you in this matter.

 

[curiouser]

Well, I think you need to realize that this really isn't about the computer. This is about him visiting adult sites. You are both adults. You are not his mother. And even if you get Net Nanny or one of those content filters he will still look at adult material. So you need to figure out how you feel about that. I think you both need to sit down and have a conversation about THAT. Not the computer. Find out why he's lying. He might be embarassed or afraid of you being overly judgemental.

You. Need. To. Talk. To. Him. Nothing will ever be solved unless you really talk about it. Chances are it has little to do with you (guys just look, honestly). But there is a chance that there's something he's interested in exploring with you that he's afraid to ask you about and is seeing on the internet instead.

If you can't handle the adult sites and material, kick him to the curb, because it will be a constant source of angst for you. Good luck.

 

[LittleRydia]

Thanks everyone for the replies and i will clear my box I didnt know it was full

Also after posting this, he came home. I did ask him to come to the room and showed him the sites I did find he visited. He swore up and down that he didnt go to these sites. I then said if your lying to me, its really upsetting me you have. You dont have to lie, I wont flip out and yell at you etc. I also told him how it made me feel, like hurting my feelings he does that. He told me how I shouldnt feel like that, for he is always telling me how beutiful I am etc which he does a lot. He told me how he was sorry... and wouldnt do it again.

So in a way, I got him to admit about it atleast.

 

[pperfectmom]

Internet porn is definately not the problem with this relationship(IMO). You have dishonesty and mistrust and there is NWIH that you can have a satisfying adult partnership with either of those two things involved. You all need to take a long hard look at yourselves and decide if you want to work this out or not(just my opinion here).

 

[golfgal]

Well, I think you need to realize that this really isn't about the computer. This is about him visiting adult sites. You are both adults. You are not his mother. And even if you get Net Nanny or one of those content filters he will still look at adult material. So you need to figure out how you feel about that. I think you both need to sit down and have a conversation about THAT. Not the computer. Find out why he's lying. He might be embarassed or afraid of you being overly judgemental.

You. Need. To. Talk. To. Him. Nothing will ever be solved unless you really talk about it. Chances are it has little to do with you (guys just look, honestly). But there is a chance that there's something he's interested in exploring with you that he's afraid to ask you about and is seeing on the internet instead.

If you can't handle the adult sites and material, kick him to the curb, because it will be a constant source of angst for you. Good luck.

Actually, the real issue here is that she has asked him several times not to do something and he continues to do that. The issue is about respect, of which he seems to have none for the OP. I agree that the OP should look long and hard at this relationship and see if it is really a productive relationship for her. How many other instances has he ignored your wishes about things? Does he ever do what you want?

 

[poohandwendy]

I think your BF sounds extremely immature. The lying, the password breaking. Come on. He is 27 yo and acts like a middle-schooler caught with his pants down.

The way he is responding to you is more of a red flag to me than anything. I would not move any further in a relationship with him until he matures and can handle things like a man. He may not, this may be it. I dunno.

Btw, does he not have his own computer?

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I'm sorry you're going through this. However, if he's lying to you about something as simple as the computer (and I agree with you), then what happens the next time something more serious comes along and he thinks you're going to be mad at him? I mean, it looks to me that his behavior is sending out red flags and you're overlooking it.

So, you're willing to compromise how you feel, and have to check up on a man because you can't trust him --- because he tells you you're beautiful & makes you feel good? Is this the kind of relationship you want? What if you fall in love & have babies with this man? Do you trust him enough to put your life in his hands? If so, then great, but if not, then why are you wasting your time with him? (And it's not about the computer - it's about him respecting you enough to have an adult relationship with you and take responsibility for his actions and being honest with you up front)

I wish you the best.

 

[agnes!]

Kick. Him. To. The. Curb. NOW.

There are a lot of issues here...
The OP has asked him to stop.
He has NOT and he has lied about it every single time he's been asked. He really *must* think that she's actually stupid, he only sort of admitted it when she showed him evidence.
These sites are also messing up *her* computer, because they are infested with at least spyware (and probably Trojans & viruses as well)...she's had to pay to get *her* computer fixed at least once & in all likelihood have to pay to get it fixed again...either that or the hard drive will crash and *she'll* be out a computer.
To the OP -
Go out and find a real man that you respect, one that you can be honest with and who respects your wishes and you...not a child who feels he has to lie about his actions but does tell you you're beautiful.

Rinse, Lather, Repeat...
Kick. Him. To. The. Curb. NOW.

agnes!

 

[christineann]

yup.....what Agnes! said. I used to be married to a guy like that. If you can't trust him to be honest about a computer, you definitely can't trust him about other things, and you will never know what you CAN believe.