We were shocked at the parks

[missypie]

A couple of years ago we spent two days at Disneyland Paris and did not observe any of the parental ugliness that we do here. I know that many of the folks were speaking in foreign languages, but you don't have to speak the language to know when a parent is tearing into their kid. The guests were mostly French, German and British, and I simply didn't hear any parents yelling at their kids. It was SO NICE!

 

[mrsltg]

The bottom line at Disney is the same as the bottom line at home. If you control (yes, I said control) your children at home you'll have a much better handle on them at WDW. My kids are far from perfect, but the dd5 understands the expectation of good behavior regardless of where we are. That's not to say she doesn't act out, but she understands the "look". At the same time we do age appropriate things with her and don't expect more than she can handle.

I agree with not judging, HOWEVER, there are some things that are clearly out-of-line. Parents berating children. Parents screaming at children. Parents slapping children in the face. None of these are acceptable and yes, you will garner the death stare from other adults because you have let the situation get to an unacceptable level. You are the adult, and you are responsible. If your kid is an obnoxious beast, you probably already knew this and maybe WDW in the heat of Summer with the crowds to go with it is not the best place for junior.

 

[DisneyPhD]

A couple of years ago we spent two days at Disneyland Paris and did not observe any of the parental ugliness that we do here. I know that many of the folks were speaking in foreign languages, but you don't have to speak the language to know when a parent is tearing into their kid. The guests were mostly French, German and British, and I simply didn't hear any parents yelling at their kids. It was SO NICE!

While I belive you I have *heard* that the people at DLP are really rude. The cast members aren't as magical and there is smoke everywhere.

I don't know if that is true or now (after all I only "heard" it.)

It does sound like even if many of the guests there might not be as polite to others (especailly those americans) they are to their own familes. Always a good thing.

 

[Susiev25]

this sorta bothers me! I don't like to see kids being yelled at but you really do need to know the situation! I'm sure I have been talked about plenty of times on the internet because someone has seen one of my kids having a major meltdown, and my response in the parks is to ignore the child until said child calms down! I too have drama queen girls who will cry and freak out at the drop of a hat hoping to get what they want...it NEVER works on me you'd think they would have learned by now! Since my children are 2,4,6 we always make sure to leave the parks for naps, and that usually starts a meltdown..the I don't WANNA nap meltdown! I'm not a bad mother but like I said I'm sure to be percieved as being a horrible mother by others! Last year my just turned 2 year old(she's fiesty) and I most definately were talked about on the internet First she was in this phase where she refused to sit in the stroller and wouldn't hold hands, sometimes refused to leave a certain spot. One day in DTD i had had enough of stadning in one spot for so long and tried to coax her to walk, hold my hand, get in the stroller(if i picked her up she would scream) so we started slowy walking away..watching her the whole time, and people were starting at us she was always in our sites but it took that to make that stubborn child move! When she FINNALY decided to come she was screaming wait wait wait! Again people were staring I was doing the best I could believe me, then agian on same trip same child ws being pushed in the stroller at AK. It was a rental and very hard to see over the canopy top, well she decided to get out while the stroller was in motion and well I ran her over accidentally I swear I didn't know she had tried getting out and really didn't know that she was under the stroller until my hubby looked to see why I couldn't push anymore! The people around us all freaked out screaming 'Oh my god the baby!" I quickly got her up and mde sure she was fine and well she Yealled at me. Her exact words were " Don't EVER push" all while pointing at me! So if you were in AK last August and saw this...it ws me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[missypie]

A Disney vacation is expensive. I think that lots of families take Disney vacations that they really can't afford and that puts a lot of pressure on everyone. A small child simply can't understand that this is the "trip of a lifetime." That is meaningless to him. A three year old who is hot and needs a nap is going to be cranky whether you are at the free park near your house or whether you paid hundreds of dollars for your Disney tickets. The parents need to be the grownups and know what their kids can and cannot handle.

This is exactly why we didn't take a Disney vacation until my kids were 7, 10 and 12. We had had a few major melt downs at Six Flags and Sea World when the kids were little and my husband just insisted on being at the park from opening until closing, notwithstanding the fact that the kids were beyond tired. I knew that my husband could not take the kids' needs into account over his own, so we waited until the kids could handle a longer day.

 

[carone0318]

I have a dd (9) and a ds (5). I find that the best approach for getting my point across when they are a little out of control is instead of screaming at them I will bend down to their level and I will talk to them in their ear exactly what I want to see happen. If that doesn't, I handle the situation, such as send them to their room, a designated time out spot or leave where we are. No need to embarass them or myself. The key is that I've always followed through, so they know not to test me.

When on vacation, I realize that it is their vacation also and actually probably lighten up a little on my expectations of them. I won't allow rudeness or anything like that, but if they want to candy or ice cream, I let them, it's vacation for a week. I always plan our vacation, but tailor it according to what I see happening with them. Sometimes I will give them a choice, do you want to go to blank park or do you want to swim. I always try to step back and remember that I am on vacation and to relax. If I am relaxed, the more likely that they will be relaxed.

 

[scraptoons]

I'm glad to have read all the posts. It will help me prepare my family with expectations.

I notice around here that when it gets really humid, our family gets crankier. Even more so than a normal hot day around here. It's a formula for misery. The humidity is worse in Florida.

That heat and humidity combined with being out of the normal routine...of course it is going to be a disaster for some folks. I wish they could understand that everyone needs to rest and hydrate.

I guess one thing I learn from this thread is forget the daily rules, its vacation time. Relax and go with the flow.
If the child has already had one cup of juice and is really thirsty, I'm going to let that child have more juice if he wants.

We'll get back to the normal routine restrictions when we get back home.

 

[jjarman]

I totally agree with brymolmom. You don't always know what transpired before any meltdown whether it be the parents or the children.. Disney World is the Happiest Place on Earth but it can also be the most tiresome and hottest place on earth. Nobody is perfect and if I were to see a major meltdown I would turn the other cheek. Things will cool down with the family on their own and I wouldn't want people staring or passing judgement on me if one of us had a meltdown.

I totally agree we don't always see the whole situation but I will never forget the little brat DS and I saw on the monorail last year. I swear if that kid had been mine I would have beaten his bottom. I could not help but stare at this little brat the entire ride. DS14 said after we got off that if he had acted that way he would have been knocked on the floor. I am not advocating beating children but I have seen some where it is tempting.

 

[G&J's Mom]

I have a dd (9) and a ds (5). I find that the best approach for getting my point across when they are a little out of control is instead of screaming at them I will bend down to their level and I will talk to them in their ear exactly what I want to see happen. If that doesn't, I handle the situation, such as send them to their room, a designated time out spot or leave where we are. No need to embarass them or myself. The key is that I've always followed through, so they know not to test me.

When on vacation, I realize that it is their vacation also and actually probably lighten up a little on my expectations of them. I won't allow rudeness or anything like that, but if they want to candy or ice cream, I let them, it's vacation for a week. I always plan our vacation, but tailor it according to what I see happening with them. Sometimes I will give them a choice, do you want to go to blank park or do you want to swim. I always try to step back and remember that I am on vacation and to relax. If I am relaxed, the more likely that they will be relaxed.

Great post! I could have written that myself

Denise

 

[maccalovah]

I agree with a lot of the posts here- Disney is the epitome of over-stimulation, and melt-downs are surely to be expected. If I saw a child throwing a hissy fit, I wouldn't be inclined to pass judgement on the parent. It would almost be ridiculous to expect all children at WDW to be on their best behavior the entire time- this is basically a giant playground, you know?

That being said, I would hate to see a parent completely losing it and screaming at a child. I can understand *why* that would happen, but it still wouldn't be a nice thing to happen to see. But, again, as an outsider you have no way of knowing what exactly led up to that situation, so it's best to just move on and try and enjoy yourself.

Also, those who have said that they've seen some children acting absolutely horrible at the parks- what's up with that? I would never have DARED act incredibily out of line with my parents. I knew exactly what was expected of me, and just how far I could go. It was almost like second nature- you knew you just didn't act certain ways. I don't necessarily see that in some kids today- are some parents just much more indulgent, or what? I don't get it.

Sarah

 

[properlywarnedyebe]

As a mom as an almost two-year-old I can see how buttons can get pushed, but there are rational and irrational ways to handle the situation, then there are also ways to handle a situation at Disney World- The Most Magical Place on Earth, where you are sharing your vacation with other people who want to be happy and full of magic....In 2002, My DH and I were standing at the Poly Monorail Platform when the sliding doors opened to the building and out came a screaming mom dragging a small child by the arm. The kid was hysterical crying, the mom stops on the platform with everyone around her and procedes to spank the child and repeats "Stop Crying! Stop Crying!" as she hits the kid. That was first time I actually had to say something- I said
"There's no crying in Baseball!" She just stopped and looked at me...This was early after a character breakfast-hardly a too tired/too hot meltdown on the kids part...And just a crazy parent who had no regard for the child or for the happy vacationers around her. Everyone deals with their family in their own way, but screaming and hitting kids at Disney World is inexcusable and selfish to other people. Pretend you are in a movie theater and use your quiet voice! A Pirate has Spoken Alicia

 

[Earstou]

My kids used to test me in public, thinking they could get away with stuff. After I realized they were doing this, I instituted a public time-out rule. When misbehaving, they had to sit on the floor where they were standing (or close by if there was too much foot traffic) for however long the time-out was for. This was the best thing I think I ever did for improving behavior!!!! They hated sitting on the floor at the mall or wherever we were, so they usually avoided bad behavior in public after this!!!

 

[LBKMAMA]

I think I'm a pretty good mom and my husband is a great dad, but we even lost it last year. We went with a group of 11 and my DS who was just 5 at the time just was off the whole trip. The very first day he gave my husband such a hard time at the bathroom in GF (Gala dinner) that my husband came out and asked my dad to go and get him. We all just stayed away and everything was fine with my dad and son. After a very long week of little arguements each day, the rest of my family had left early in day and we were at MK by ourselves. Again, the bathroom, my husband was off w/ DD so he needed to go in Ladies room with me...well I don't have to tell you how that went. He refused to sit on toilet, started screaming in the bathroom...I told him quietly this was his last chance, he wouldn't do it so I dragged him literally out of there all the way to Barnstormer. My poor other son didn't know what to do except follow me. I never spoke to him until my husband met us 15 min. later...I didn't want to say anything I was soo mad.
Even though you're in the Happiest Place on Earth...your kids are just not on a normal schedule and I think in some cases (like this one) it was almost too much. Our trip this year is by ourselves, shorter and no Park hoppers. We are going to try and tone it down a bit!

 

[Boncho]

Reading all of these posts makes me realize how lucky I am. My son (10) and I go to WDW with my sister while the men stay home (they're not Disney fanatics like us) and look after the dogs. We're pretty laid back - while eating breakfast we decide what park we are going to that day , we come back to the resort to cool off in the pool after lunch and then head back out. All decisions are made by all three of us. We eat when we want to eat, get something to drink when we are thirsty ( I don't care how much the bottled water costs) and just take it pretty cool. This way there are no arguments, no tantrums and we just have a great time.

 

[Tricia1972]

My kids used to test me in public, thinking they could get away with stuff. After I realized they were doing this, I instituted a public time-out rule. When misbehaving, they had to sit on the floor where they were standing (or close by if there was too much foot traffic) for however long the time-out was for. This was the best thing I think I ever did for improving behavior!!!! They hated sitting on the floor at the mall or wherever we were, so they usually avoided bad behavior in public after this!!!

I have done firm talkings, and transfer of attention, even take away from the situation time outs. However, I LOVE your idea of an on the floor timeout. I think that DS3 would hate this and will definately give it a shot! Thanks for sharing your tip.

 

[littleladykaty]

I too am extremely lucky when it comes to kids...my soon to be DD7 and DS4 are very well behaved in public when they are with us. Man all it takes is a "hard" look to get those kiddos in line. Mostly b/c they know that if they choose to test our resolve on the matters of appropriate public behavior they will be in a world of trouble seconds later! not to say that they don't try b/c they do, especially DS4, quite a bit, but it's fairly mild limit testing...DS4 spilled his apple juice at a restaurant one day b/c he just wasn't paying attention...of course the spilling wasn't a big deal, but when I took the juice away to get him sopped up he started kicking his little feet and saying " I want to keep drinking!!!" almost loud enough to be a shout...my eyes got huge and my voice got very quiet and I said "Are we about to have a problem?" Hmmm...suddenly the kicking stopped, the voice went quiet and all was well with the world! Sopped him up, napkin in his lap chewing with his mouth shut, tranquility restored!! That's the thing...I don't need to yell...just get that deadly quiet thing going on and man do attitudes change quickly!

I do hope that they don't prove me wrong next summer!

 

[irishbosoxfan]

I have 4 kids of my own and 1 SD---My oldest DS and DD both have ADD which let me tell you can be fun--We will be making our first trip to WDW this summer and I'm sure there will be times when they will have meltdowns if I don't have one first!
At home when my kids after obstinate or just flat out with the "bump you" attitude they know they're in for it(at home can be home,restaurant,store)--I was brought up getting cracked wherever we were and for a lot less than anything my kids could ever pull--So for me and my kids they get "I'm not going to tell you again" then if they insist on continuing their behavior they get the "death stare" followed by "last time" then if it goes on I will grab them by the arm,bend over so I'm right in their face and say something like "you were told twice,I will not say it again,if you cannot listen I will whup your butt right here in front of everyone"====And this I've found is the motivator for exemplary behavior because they know if they continue beyond that they will get a whack on the bottom and that it will hurt.
To many parents today are afraid of swatting their kids when they need it because of "Abuse" but you can bet the same people who scream abuse will be the same people screaming about the lack of discipline you bestowed upon your child when they grow up and knocked them over for their pocketbook or jack them for their car.

 

[PreppyPolyMom]

The last time we were at disney (2002) I heard a kid whining and asking her mom for a drink, she was thirsty, the mom said "shut up and swallow your spit". That is something that has burned a hole in my memory and I will never forget it. I felt so bad for that child, and relieved at the same time that my kids will never have a mom like that.

 

[Hannathy]

A swat on the bottom with an open hand is not abuse and more kids need one.
I do not believe in repeated hits, or hitting with something or on the face but on very rare occasions a swat may be needed. I can only think of 2x in my kids life.

I know I will be flamed but a major contributor to the problems IMO is that many many parents are not used to dealing with their children 24 hours a day anymore. For alot of parents they have the kids in daycare for 10 hours a day and only deal with them in short periods of time. Taking care of kids 24 hr/day is hard and can be nerve wracking if they aren't used to it. Throw in there everyone being hot, tired or stressed and it isn't pretty.

My kids know to behave in public and while we have had some whining or stubborness they have never had a meltdown in public. I also don't sweat the small stuff. If they want a drink we get it. If they want french fries with every meal it's vacation. I took my Nephew when he was 8 and he ate popcorn for lunch everyday for a week- guess what he lived and grew up just fine.

 

[PreppyPolyMom]

A swat on the bottom with an open hand is not abuse and more kids need one.

AMEN Hannathy! ITA