We were shocked at the parks

[puggymom]

I don't like yelling, but I dislike a lack of discipline less. If my child had refused to carry the water bottle they chose and swore they would carry, then I would yell the same thing as father above. (Then I would take my child to the nearest water fountain.) I have fewer effective discipline tools at my disposal while in the parks, so yelling does go up. I will not turn a blind eye to willful disobedience of age-appropriate expectations just because I'm on vacation. There may be other issues of which you are unaware. While many above examples do seem over the top, it is possible that some children are being yelled at deservedly. I hope that if I am over the top, a DISer would offer to help somehow - maybe an extra napkin you've got that my child's dripping ice cream needs.

There was no water bottle, the kid had nothing to drink at all, the father was refusing to get him something to drink. I bet the kid would have gladly carried the water if he could have had it.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

A few years ago I was in Epcot, near Morocco, and it was well over 90 degrees. This poor kid was crying so hard and his father was yelling, no screaming, at him becuase the kid wanted something to drink. The father was yelling that he didn't work that hard to spend that much money on a bottle of water. I just hoped that kid didn't get dehyrated with that kind of attitude.

No offence here but I have said that to my kids at Disney too. We bring our own bottles & refill them from the fountains for water. I live in SW FL & work outside. The amount of water that you need to drink to stay hydrated in the summer is just too much to be paying for at Disney's prices. There is nothing wrong with saying that. There are plenty of free water fountians in the parks. I go to Disney often & if I spent money on the water up there, it would end up costing me more in water for my family than for a room one night.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

There have been times I have wanted to slip the KID a Valium. I have seen this only a few times, but I have witnessed kids screaming at their parents. I tell you, this would NOT have flown with my parents when I was a kid.

Ditto here... they are screaming that they want something & the parent looks like the bad parent when they choose to ignor the child's behavior & keep walking, when in fact, that is what should be done.
People judge parents too fast without knowing the entire situation.

 

[A Mickeyfan]

Think of all the Disney World commercials you see.
Kids walking hand in hand with Mickey with no one else around.
Families enjoying ride after ride --never showing the lines you have to stand in or the walking you do to get there.
It sets you up for wanting the "perfect vacation" just like on TV.

Funny you say it that way. When my cousin, her husband & 2 kids went several years ago, that is what they expected. They even commented to me that Disney should not advertise that way. They were very nieve in thinking there would be no lines, no crowds etc... They actually had the guts to go & complain to guest services I am not meaning to be mean here, but I just could not belive they really thought that commercials were true.... They have not been back since.

 

[Evil Queen]

Until the last trip I could be found as one of those yellers. If and when I do walk off he's with his adult brother.

Last trip, amazingly we had no fights, but we planned a much more relaxed trip.

Now, the other day at Target, DS10 and I had a very "heated" discussion that bordered on yelling, and if he has that type of "It's all about ME" attitude's at Disney, you may just catch me yelling at him there, but I hope not.

 

[DebbieinWA]

I think it's really important to know you're seeing the whole situation before judging. We had an incident happen to us at an airport when our youngest was 5. She went into total meltdown. She was yanking on my arm (actually caused enough damage to it that I ended up wearing a brace for a few weeks - grrr!). The kid needed some discipline -- one of those situations where a spanking was warranted (and we did not use corporal punishment very often), but because we were at an airport, we did not think it would be too bright to even give her a swat on her behind. Sooo, DH took her on a walk and led her by the ear -- he did NOT hurt her in any way, but she was freaking out, crying, etc. (she's 17 now and still a drama queen!). Some person who thought she was a child advocate decided to butt in and approach my child (after the "walk"). This woman freaked us all out. Asking my dd if she was okay, etc. Tried to tell my DH it was abuse and should be reported. The woman might have thought she was being a good citizen, but she did much more damage than good. My dd was terrified! Would not even sleep in her own bed for days afterward. This definitely was a situation where the woman did NOT know the whole story. Both my dd's were total drama queens when they were younger (youngest one still is - LOL) and would scream, cry, etc. at the drop of a hat -- and we have it all on videotape to blackmail them with when they have kids Guess what I'm saying is kids will go into meltdown, and as parents in today's world, it is really hard to know what type of discipline will be perceived as "abuse." (And let me also say, I've seen the other end of the spectrum where kids really ARE abused -- I don't think too many of those kids are having the joy of spending a vacation in WDW -- if I were wealthy, I would be giving $$ so abused and neglected kids could have the opportunity to experience the magic). Sorry so long -- off my soapbox now

 

[patsal]

I have laughed at a few of these and I'm sure many of these tense situations were not the best parenting presenting itself. BUT.....please keep in mind that you usually don't know the whole story. The story about the dad not wanting to buy the kid water made me think of my 'getting evil look from other people' story. First day at POP last year, kids took a long nap, first time even getting in line for the bus to the parks and offered kids a drink while we were waiting (it was hot - lots of hydration). Well, dd2 decided to have an all-out tantrum demanding juice. We NEVER carry juice in the diaper bag and she only gets one small glass a day so why she was surprised at my 'no- we don't have any, only water' response is beyond me. Actually, I know it wasn't surprise, but rather putting on a show for all the onlookers. I had never seen her have a tantrum like this over something so small. NOW I try to take a step back if I think someone's being a horrible parent.

Just think how I looked, I'm sure others there were like 'why not let the kid have some juice' OR when I decided to ignore her and let her have her tantrum, they likely were thinking 'why are you letting your kid cry like that?'.

Anyway- it always looks different from the outside.

Exactly, what we see isn't all there really is many times. During a 2 week vacation I can count on an in park melt down from my DD Now 10. Not a big deal (except to maybe the person who sees me simply say enough very loudly and walk away), yup I may have been the Mom walking away--DH was probably behind her or next to her--of course she is sorry, but I will not put up with disrespect. Usually we head back for the nap she thought she was too old to need! IF it was a family at one fo the golf courses on a summer night it was definately us as well. DD is super competative and was really PO'd when she didn't win golf--it was all of our fault since she was just following our hints when she hit the ball. Now when she asks to play min-golf she prefaces it with I won't be a brat and throw a fit, even if I turn out to be the worse loser!
I don't know why adults are mean to one another, but I'm sure there's more there than I really want to know. My soon to be ex BIL demeans my sister all the time and when we went to WDW it was no different, though since I was with her we just kept walking away form him--hey I guess I did the same thing to him I would have done to my kids! (Just to point out when the kids were really little I never walked away from them I just removed them from the situation-ie screaming hissy fit in the store--push cart to service desk apologize to clerk and leave with kid--I only had to do this once with each kid.

 

[Tricia1972]

As a mother of a three year old I tend to give the parents the benefit of the doubt. As many have said, you simply cannot judge a parent's parenting skills on a few moments of bad behavior at Disney World (bad behavior by either the parent or the child).

Usually my 3 year old is a pretty good kid, but there have been occasions where I was absolutely mortified by his behavior! "Where on earth did he learn to scream like that?" "Why on earth does he think he is entitled to_____?" There are cases where he doesn't get what he wants and loses it completely. Though these instances are rare - you have NO way of knowing that if you only see me for that one minute of my life. My child could seem like a demon child to you, but in reality he is not.

If any of you were at the Disney Store in Mall of America on Saturday - that was MY three year old crying. He decided that he wanted a Stitch Car ($4.50) and kept on whining and crying throughout the store about the car. I kept trying to redirect his attention and he continued to whine and beg. Finally DH ended up right by the display and my 3 year old lost it. I got quite a few looks - maybe parents were wondering why I didn't just buy him the toy - it was only $4.50. Whatever you were thinking - what you didn't know was that my son had been to Toys R Us that morning, Pottery Barn Kids, been on a ride and played a game at the amusement park, and he had already been overindulged IMO and he was not going to get anything else! I handled it without yelling, asking him how Stitch was going to be paid for. He said with his piggy bank. I pointed out that his piggy bank was at home (3 hours away). He wiped his tears and said that he would save his money and come back for Stitch.

Am I always this grown up about it? I try to be, but I am not always queen of discipline. I can lose it and yell at my little guy when my patience is thin. I tend to think/wish that all parents are like me. Usually pretty good, but occasionally losing their patience. When you judge a situation and how a parent is handling it - remember you are only seeing one minute of their life. The nicest person can occasionally be a royal jerk.

To the idea of always letting a "kid be a kid" - I don't think that it is good for either the child or the people surrounding the child to let them do whatever they want, whenever they want. I believe that you need to work with children to help them be respectful of others and often a kid being a kid isn't a kid being respectful. Today's kids are tomorrow's adults and I think that it is up to us to help them become decent adults. I know that it is a fine line - allowing your child freedom to be a child without infringing on other's rights.

This is all JMO - but I thought that I'd weigh in on it.

 

[traviesojmt]

I think the UG had the best quote (from a guest who had written in)...

"Take the nap. Take the Nap! TAKE THE NAP!"

I think for people with little ones (and even some of us big ones) it's a must to get out of the park for a little while and rest. The kids can come back refreshed. At least, that's what I'm hoping, since we're heading for our first trip there with our children this fall!

I couldn't agree more. We always get to the park for early entry and are back at the resort after lunch. We go in the summer, so we take the hottest part of the afternoon off. My oldest is too old for naps, but he still needs the break from the park. My husband will take him swimming or to the arcades while my youngest naps. I think everyone needs to forget the "I must see everything" mentality and move to the "I should enjoy what I get to see" camp. Now, having said that, I have a very stubborn DD3. If she chooses to throw a fit and becomes unreasonable, my DH and I have no problem removing her from the park and taking her back to the room. I know I paid alot of money to be at the parks, but sometimes a big timeout is necessary. I am hoping by utilizing naps and a relaxed touring style we won't have any major fits to worry about.

 

[DisneyMim]

Yes it's very sad. This has been happening more and more each year and it's getting worse. People have NO patience at all anymore, everyone is out for themselves. Everyone has the attitude that "It's my vacation and I WILL have a good time". More and more people are going to Disney than years ago and I think that too many are not doing their homework ahead of time. They don't realize the cost of things and they don't realize how crowded it is. They get there are they are just overwhelmed. They rush through everything and if one of the kids so much as asks for anything they blow up. I always feel so bad when I see parents yell at their children. They need to take a deep breath, a chill pill, and realize that you CAN'T do it all in one visit. Part of a vacation is relaxing and people have forgotten that.

 

[declansdad]

The other day I saw a woman sitting on the wall in front of the lake at DTD near Legoland. She was crying. The dad was talking to a little boy. I heard him tell the boy that there would be more trips to fun places, but he only had one mom and he better appreciate what he had. I don't know what happened prior to that conversation, but I would bet the kid wasn't being very nice to his mom.

This is exactly why people shouldn't jump to conclusions about seeing the angry or upset parent. There is always more to the incident than the snapshot you are seeing as you walk by.

 

[littleladykaty]

"It is very tough to be a parent who controls their children in a world where others do not....." TRUE TRUE TRUE

When we told my DF's ex wife that we were taking the kids to WDW next summer her response was "Oh my GAWD I would never take them there, they'd go crazy..." Well yeah, b/c you let them do whatever they want with hit and miss discipline. You can't suddenly expect a child to "listen and behave" in WDW if things are lax out in the real world. Everything is heightend at the World!

My DF has the right idea in that he believes if you have a good grip on behaviors when they are young, they are much less likely to have huge tantrums when they are older...at least that works for us. Hi ex's mom always says that my DF is too "tough" on the kids. Why? Because he makes them mind? My soon to be DD7 and DS4 can be so naughty at their mom's b/c she is not consistent. I'm talking DS4 kicking mommy, throwing a rock at his sister and cutting her head open, talking back, telling mom to shut up...nightmare behavior...at our place those kids wouldn't DARE hit or kick each other, let alone an adult. Why? Because they know with 100% accuracy that if A happens, then B will result. It always happens that way whether we are in Target or WDW. There is never a time that we don't respond with the exact same consequence. And they are happier children for it. They are extremely well behaved in public thankfully.

Usually tantrums in WDW are not a first time thing...it probably happens to some degree in their real lives too...but then you never know...kids can surprise the heck out of you when you have an audience!!!

 

[G&J's Mom]

Last time we went in 2005, DH was acting like a big child. He was tired, hot, wah, WHATEVER!!! DD 4 at the time told him he needed a time out and we should go back to the hotel so daddy could take a nap. Out of the mouths of babes. My kids are just perfect well behaved angels! NOT!!! My DD is now 6 and has sensory integration dysfunction and had some pretty nasty meltdowns in the past. I would take her aside, some place shady until she calmed down. It never dawned on me not to bring her to WDW again. Thankfully though she has learned to control her anxiety and the meltdowns are a thing of the past for the most part.

She and 4 yo DS are park commandos. We usually tire out before they do

Denise

 

[mikymouse]

My kids had a melt down at the Tea cups. They were pushing each other and actually pushed the kid next to them and grabbing the ropes as they both wanted to be first in line. I finally had to physically but not harmfully remove them from the line and put them into a time out on the wall next to the ride. I was never so embarrassed by their behavior, they are really good joyful kids. We always went to park opening and took afternoon naps, but yet sometime little ones will melt down even with the best laid back plan and patience parenting. There were some other mini melt downs and I would often just look at my DH and pronouce "just another magical moment" hopefully the onlookers realized that that I meant that I realized that their behavior was not so good but not bad enough to make a scene at Disney. So if you see some less than magical moments at WDW, realize that parenting is a tough job and our daily challenges don't disappear once we enter the Magic Kingdom.

 

[Nancyg56]

Yes it's very sad. This has been happening more and more each year and it's getting worse. People have NO patience at all anymore, everyone is out for themselves. Everyone has the attitude that "It's my vacation and I WILL have a good time". More and more people are going to Disney than years ago and I think that too many are not doing their homework ahead of time. They don't realize the cost of things and they don't realize how crowded it is. They get there are they are just overwhelmed. They rush through everything and if one of the kids so much as asks for anything they blow up. I always feel so bad when I see parents yell at their children. They need to take a deep breath, a chill pill, and realize that you CAN'T do it all in one visit. Part of a vacation is relaxing and people have forgotten that.

ITA. I know that things are not always what they seem, because I raised 3 and they were really good when they were bad. BUT....there is a problem when you see a parent nose to nose to a little kid maybe 2 1/2 or 3 in a stroller screaming "Why are you doing this to me??????", while the child is crying do hard he can't breathe, and a parent reacting to kids pushing buttons.

A coworker of my DH took his family to Disney, did no research, and asked no questions. His DD freaked out at the characters, and was overwhelmed at the parks. She wanted to stay at the pool. He spent the week furious at his wife and DD and has never been back. The Mom finally got her to venture into the parks, but this was not one happy family, and I shudder to think of the memories this child has of this vacation. These are expensive vacations, and I don't understand how someone can commit that kind of money, and not check with family or friends who have gone to ensure that there is a back up plan, or at least a plan if the "dream vacation" has a glitch. I find it very sad.

 

[DisneyPhD]

There have been times I have wanted to slip the KID a Valium. I have seen this only a few times, but I have witnessed kids screaming at their parents. I tell you, this would NOT have flown with my parents when I was a kid.

Yes, there is no way I would of ever been on a trip if I ever acted this way. In addtion the trip would be over for me if I did. (depending on my age.)

Kids are kids, but I must admit if my kid did this, there would be consequces. (and yes I would end up punishing myself by missing fun too, but then again that is what being a parent is about.)

Once again you never know the whole story. There has been some perfect examples of "more then meets the eye." going one.

 

[disneyfans4ever]

Sad isn't it? I saw an incident at the airport on the day we were leaving WDW and saw a adult-adult "temper tantrum" It was a couple with their mom in the wheelchair. They couple was yelling and glaring at each other, then they got so angry that one of them threw a suitcase on top of the mother's lap in the wheelchair and stormed away. The guy was wearing a Disney hat too. I thought to myself..."Do you know where you just were? The HAPPIEST celebration on earth!" Oh dear...

 

[golden1]

This thread is scaring me.

I am bringing my 2 and 4 year old in December and I have been trying to tone down my expectations. This thread is helping! I guess my approach is to do all I can to make this trip as stress free as it can be so no one loses their cool. I am bringing the grandparents for help. I am going during a slow time of year. I will be going to the parks at opening and taking mid-day breaks. The kids will be sticking to their regular bedtime - 8pm. I'd rather have 6 stress free hours at a park than 8 or 10 hours of whining and screaming. I am staying at the ASM suites and the BW villas in order to have more space for the kids. I hope to be able to minimize the stress. Personally, when bringing young children, I would never go in the summer if I could avoid it.

I'm sure there will still be melt downs but I think the key is to remain somewhat flexible. I'm not saying that you should let all the home rules slide but just to see it from the kids point of view. In a lot of cases, these young children have never been away from home before or been on an airplane let alone WDW. These kids are being overstimulated and this can get them to behave in ways they normally wouldn't.

I also try not to judge tantrum situations because who knows what is really going on. I would get upset if I say someone verbally or physically abusing a child. No matter how upset you are, there is no justification for that.

 

[MichelleVW]

We were in MGM in December and DH and I were standing in a short line to get our picture taken with Mickey and the family in front of us had a little boy about 4 or so who was not happy at the time. (he wasn't being bad, just pouty) and the dad told him in a joking way, "you better put your Mickey face on for the picture!!" And for the remainder of the trip anytime anyone got cranky (and it was usually me because the others didn't want to follow my PLAN ) my husband would hug me and say, "You don't have your Mickey Face on!!!" and it would break the tension and I'd stop being so anal about the PLAN and calm down a bit.

But if I didn't have a husband that knew how to deal with my occasional crankiness and get my Mickey face back on, I can see me being one of those parents at times...

 

[BeckWhy]

We had to listen to one gentleman tell his young son that if he dripped his icecream one more time he was going to kick him into next week.Mind you it was 92 degrees out I had a hard time from keeping mine from dripping

I woulda went and dropped my whole ice cream on the ground right in front of him! MUHAHAH! I'm such an instigator!