WDW after family tragedy

[disneylove16]

Hi all, one of our dogs just died last week very unexpectedly and violently (I won't go into details). We've been through shock and now just very depressed. DF, my in laws and I just cry non stop. It's all we can talk about. We had our backyard wedding all planned for August, followed by what was going to be an epic, long awaited disneymoon. We already decided we will probably just do a "get married at the court" type thing, as DF doesn't even want to be in the backyard. I mentioned that I was going to cancel the trip, and DF said to wait, to see how we feel when it gets closer. I just don't see how we are going to enjoy ourselves, or not just dwell and sulk the whole trip. I know 2 months is a long time to greive, but it's just so fresh in my mind right now.

Does anyone have any advice? Or experience visiting after a loss? How long did you wait to go? I know it's "just a dog" as some people say, but not to us. Our dogs are family members. Thanks in advance for any advice on this.

 

[schoen]

I think it's always a good idea to give decisions like this some time. I also think that when we are sad it can be therapeutic to do things we enjoy. I would not cancel the trip. Planning the trip might be a good positive outlet for you?

I always think it helps to talk to professionals too. My city has a support group that meet for bereaved pet owners. I have friends who have found great comfort in going to those meetings. They are offered through the vet school at the university nearby.

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[MaryKatesMom]

Oh so sorry for your loss!

As a PP mentioned don't do anything rash, especially cancelling the trip which will have no association with the unhappiness. However, if the backyard wedding might bring back unpleasant or hurtful memories maybe moving the local of the actual wedding to somewhere free of anything hurtful might not be a bad idea.

Best wishes.

 

[disneylove16]

I think it's always a good idea to give decisions like this some time. I also think that when we are sad it can be therapeutic to do things we enjoy. I would not cancel the trip. Planning the trip might be a good positive outlet for you?

I always think it helps to talk to professionals too. My city has a support group that meet for bereaved pet owners. I have friends who have found great comfort in going to those meetings. They are offered through the vet school at the university nearby.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Thank you. I'm hoping I get some of the excitement of planning back. I am actually looking into counseling, as DF has a lot of anger about what happened, and I want him to talk to someone. I think it would really help us.

Oh so sorry for your loss!

As a PP mentioned don't do anything rash, especially cancelling the trip which will have no association with the unhappiness. However, if the backyard wedding might bring back unpleasant or hurtful memories maybe moving the local of the actual wedding to somewhere free of anything hurtful might not be a bad idea.

Best wishes.

Thank you.

 

[TavieP]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I will say - we had a trip planned when my mom died unexpectedly in November 2011. We didn't think we'd ever want to go again, but when the trip rolled around in June we all went because it's what she would have wanted, and it was sad, but also comforting at the same time. (She loved WDW so very much and I have so many treasured memories with her in that place, I feel her there every time I go back now.)

Give it time and see how you feel. A magical escape can be healing.

 

[loves to dive]

So sorry for your loss. I agree with others to give it a little time before you decide. My mother was critically ill and in hospice when my son and I had a trip planned. We worried about it but my brother's said go, if she dies there is nothing you can do and we won't let you know until you come home. Needless to say, the whole trip I worried but she was actually better when we got home. Fast forward 3 months and she did finally give in and let go. It was a week before our anniversary and we had a trip planned to go to Florida and then the Keys to do some diving. Again, my brother's encouraged us to go, it would do me good (I was very close to her and her caregiver up to the end). We went and the second day I get a phone call from my son that where he worked offered him a promotion but it would mean moving to a different town and he had to do it while we were gone. My son is an only child and until he was around 14 it was just he and I so we are very close, he proudly admits he is a mama's boy. So, my mother had died and my son was moving to a different town, all in a week span. I cried that night on the beach and after that we continued the trip and I actually enjoyed it. You never know so allow yourself to grieve but know life goes on.

 

[tsme]

I'm so sorry. We loss our oldest hairy baby last year. I couldn't stop crying & couldn't get out of bed for a week. It's hard. But I think ya'll should still go. It'll help. My DH made me go on a weekend trip that we had planned previously. It was about 2-3 weeks after we loss Mr. A. While we didn't not think of him, it helped to be removed from everything that reminded us of him. It takes time. It's been a year & I still get weepy when I think of him.

 

[henry72]

Sorry for your loss.
I agree with the others. I wouldn't make any decisions right now. Give it a little more time before making the decision on whether to go or not.

 

[disneylove16]

Thank you all. I'm sorry for everyone's losses no matter how recent. It gives me hope that others have gone on trips after a loss, and while not forgetting what happened, were able to enjoy the trip. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

 

[CaptJacksWench]

First off, sorry for your loss. The grieving process is different for each individual and all I can really suggest is wait to the possible last minute that you can before having to cancel to make the final decision. It is very hard because when you lose someone(even a family pet) the memories last in you forever and you never know when something will trigger something especially during the early months of the grieving process. Take your time and really discuss all your options out with your DF. I think you both will come up with a suitable solution.

 

[Judyfun]

I too am sorry for you loss, our furkids are a very large part of our family. Take a few weeks and think things out.